Sunday Yawn......

YAWNNNNN! It’s raining.....not storming, but a steady dripping rain, falling straight down rain that you c’n barely see or feel but everything is drooping....all the leaves, the trees, the grasses & flowers.....bedraggled, disheartened chickens huddle forlornly, only crowing now if they feel threatened.....the dogs don’t want to get off the porch ‘n I can’t really blame them. I don’t want to go outside either. Feel kind’a droopy myownself.....
I’ve cut the Prednisone short so I don’t have the artificial high going for me....the upside is my BS is closer to normal & I c’n sleep.....the downside is...loss of taste, lack of energy, general dullness.....
But, it’s over...the Chemo, I mean. A couple weeks of self-pitying inertia ain’t that high of a price, I guess.....
Besides, January is coming to a close & mid-February is often Spring-like round about here.....& Spring, of course, signals a re-birth......& at 70 years old, I ain’t sure how many re-births I got left so I don’t wanna waste any..........
The powers that be are talking about a 2 month ban on fishing the lower American......”Joy to the fishes....”

Justin Other Smith

wet, wetter, wettest.....& windy too

Drab, dreary, drizzly days in soggy ol sac valley.....even when it ain’t actually rainin’........it’s still wet!
I got it done! The last chemo! Nuthin’ to look forward to now ‘cept feeling better.
Well that, & a little insomnia.....quiet in the middle of the nite.....at least it ain’t raining tho’ the forecast is for rain all day Friday.....
It’s raining, it’s pouring....I really should be snoring.....I woke up ‘round about midnite & I’m still up....still up.....
4:30 & the paper just hit the door....prob’ly tryin’ to beat the storm they’re forecasting....guess I’ll make some coffee & listen to the falling rain.....raindrops are fallin’ .....well, not on my head ‘cause I ain’t goin’ out there....’n I don’t feel like singin’ or dancin’ either.....I wish I was asleep.........Just sleepin’ in the rain, sleepin’ in the rain, what a glorious feelin’.....just sleepin’ in the rain.....apologies, Gene........Justin Other Smith

Muddle on..........

Another rainy nite in soggy Ol Fair Oaks.....actually, pretty much all over the central valley.....and snow in the sierra
At least, it’s a fairly gentle rain with no wind, what they call a ‘soaking’ rain....and that’s good. If we get this kind of weather for......O say, the next couple months, that’s good for California....gets us out of that nasty drought situation.....We still won’t have enuff water for all the people & fish & farming....not to mention El Lay.......
Tomorrow morn is the last Chemo treatment.....couple or 3 weeks to recover...then diet & exercise therapy & hair growth (hopefully)......there is this gnawing back of the mind fear that it won’t come back no matter what the experts say........
As our Brit cousins say (or used to say)....”Keep a stiff upper lip and muddle on...........”
G’nite......Justin Other Smith

Sactown Chic.......

Rainy days are here again, we’re all socked in with fog again, chains required on the mountain again.....t’is the weather we don’t brag about to our friends in the east...
it’s the time of year when Sactown emulates Seattle & San Francisco weatherwise..... ponchos & bumbershoots required.....I’d say that’s the reason Starbucks & Peet’s (and their clones) are popping up all over the area but that’d be a lie ‘cuz our summer weather is still hot hot hot.....
Nuthin’ changes overnite but......We’ve had an influx of emmigrants from the Bay area...lower living costs here....and they’re bringing their ideas of culture & sophistication with ‘em. sighhhhhh!
Coffee shoppes, high-rent lofts for movers & shakers, with it nite clubs where they can go to gaze haughtily down their noses at slack-jawed locals.....sighhhhhhh!
O for the days when Sactown was the roadblock of the central valley....the place ya had to get thru to go to the ocean or the mountains ...for all the bush league lads & lasses.....when Sactown was a one-horse town (whenever ya c’ud find the horse)....
Nuthin’ changes overnite but somehow Sactown has evolved into Sacramento the city. Not the cityinbetween as those snooty bayareafolk used to moan but a city nevertheless & the horse that wandered ain’t ever comin’ back.....the skyline keeps growin’....the traffic certainly keeps growin’.......& the ‘burbs are...well, citified. There, I said it. Millyrose & I passed a boarded up grange hall this morning & I remarked, “I c’n remember when it was open.” That was in Rancho Cordova. But, I c’n also remember when Carmichael, Fair Oaks, & O’vale, all had thriving grange halls....
Nuthin’ changes overnite......it changes moment by moment, so slowly that we don’t see it. We humans are busy, busy beavers...doing what we do, fighting the fight, living the life......& then one day we raise our heads & look around & wonder at how our world has changed.....
I quoted Barney Miller before & it seems apt to do it again.....”That’s the way it is & there ain’t anything you can do about it.” Justin Other Smith

Holi-Dazed.........

It’s Tuesday but it feels like a Monday. Maybe ‘cause yesterday was a holiday. Well, officially a holiday. MLK gave some great speeches and I c’n understand why black Americans might want to deify him but, try as I might, it just don’t work for me. ‘Course, when I was a kid, I tho’t Washington & Lincoln were really great men deserving of celebratory b’days...I don’t much feel that way anymore. I don’t mind President’s Day but it’s a kind of madeup holiday that’s more about paid time off than anything else....don’t misunderstand me, I’m in favor of holidays. The more the merrier. But they just don’t seem to have the flavor that I remember.
Much of the joy of the really great holidays comes in the anticipation, the waiting, like the recess bell that signifies freedom......the 4th of July, Hallowe’en, Christmas........if you don’t have that longing to exhale, it just ain’t that great of a day.
It’s a rainy Tuesday....chilly....I made a pot & a half of coffee this morn & drank it all.....this layoff has been good for me, I think. My blood sugars are staying closer to normal, my appetite has improved ( I c’n taste things w/out wanting to vomit)....my energy level has risen tho’ I’m still not ready to go out in the rain to walk the dogs. I’m almost looking forward to this upcoming treatment....well, heck! I am looking fwd to it. It ‘s the last one ‘n I want it over & done. Like this p’ticklar blog.
Justin Other Smith

Sunday, Sunday........

Cold and gloomy Sunday morning........grey & overcast......
Can’t think of any good reason for getting dressed t’day, the dogs certainly don’t care what I’m wearing....I’d bet, however, that at some point t’day, Millyrose will want to go somewhere & do something.....
Actually, I’ve been feeling pretty good the last few days, better than in a long time.....yesterday, the sun was shining, we went to a movie & out to lunch...took Cary w/us.....it was a good day.
Saw ‘The Bucket List’.....a Nicholson/Freeman mutual admiration society.....certainly not a movie for the young, it’s about two old men dying. Ain’t what you’d call ROFL but it has it’s moments.....a little dark, almost black in spots, especially if you c’n relate to chemo & radiation.
After, we went to Carmelita’s for lunch...I passed on the beer but I did have my first diet Coke of the year. Chemo does funny things to the palate....won’t even try to s’plain that...can’t.
I’ll have my last chemo treatment on Thursday. Not looking forward to it but, I’ll be glad to get it over with..
Looking forward to feeling good, swimming, & hair...
Especially hair........Justin Other Smith

For the record......

Lotta stress these days.....not talking about me now, but the rest of y’all.....I haven’t been driving for awhile. Too many chemicals. Thursday afternoon, I drove out to O’vale and back. Same on Friday.....Traffic doesn’t seem to be any heavier than normal but faster....jerkier..... More impatient. People are using their horns more. And certainly more hand gestures....
I expect it’s the economy stupid thing that we keep hearing on all the media shows.....and that’s a pretty good reason to feel stressed. I remember feeling depressed years ago and going to a psychologist. I recited my litany of troubles and recall him saying that I “had a right to feel depressed.” I don’t remember that actually being of any help to me and I don’t think that being told over and over that our economy is tanking is going to make anyone feel better....
For the record, I’m optimistic about the economy. That may be unrealistic but, what the Heck? I’m an American. Everyone knows that Americans are cockeyed optimists. “so they called me a cockeyed optimist, immature and incurably green.” sang Nellie Forbush in South Pacific.
And again for the record, I’ve been called worse.
Justin Other Smith

Friday morning ramble.......

G’morning.......the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the leafblowers are blowing.....God’s in his Heaven and all’s right with the world.....NOT!.....The economy is a mess, politicians are politicking, Israeli’s are retaliating against Arabs....in other words, SNAFU! Situation is normal, the world is still on a collision course with itself.
Which is pre-zackly where it’s been as long as I’ve been here....and where it was long before I got here.......so, its’ not my fault. And contrary to popular belief, it ain’t really George’s fault either. ‘Course, you’d think that he might have been able to alleviate the situation at least a little bit but you’d be wrong.
There have been men in history that have had great impact on the world. And women, too. Always, glass ceilings or no. The world has had a number of visionaries but George ain’t one of them. George is a politician. As all of our Presidents have been. As are the leaders of all the countries on this ever-spinning world of ours.
Politics can begin and end wars; can be responsible for inflicting misery & pain on the populace; can move mountains, create deserts, and float boats in the air. But, the earth will continue to spin, the sun will continue to shine, and the human condition will endure.
No matter what the ‘great’ men of the world do or say, and no matter what you and I do or say, the human condition will endure.
To quote Barney Miller, “that’s the way it is and there ain’t anything you can do about it.”
Enjoy the show, vote for whoever you damn well please and keep in mind that a moving target is harder to hit.
Justin Other Smith

Falling sideways........

The Chemo-fog may actually be making the Democan/Republicrat shenanigans seem more innarestin’ than they are.......I never smoked pot but I saw my share of dreamers who did.....I don’t have any problems with dreaming, having done at least my share of it but, my dreams were never drug induced....well, at least they weren’t until this Chemo party began......
So Mitt promised the auto workers of Michigan that he’d bring the jobs back...that if he was President of the ‘hull darn US of A, he’d ignore the other 49 states and coerce the Auto Mfgs of the world that they must abso build cars in Michigan.....(Hey Michiganders, McCain told the truth for all the good it did him...those jobs are never coming back)...Huckkaberry offered God and came in 3rd....at least, I think he did.....Rudy’s in Margaritaville which ain’t a bad place to be in January.....Anyway, the Republicrat race is still a toss-up....which brings me to the Democan debate (?)....NBC should be ashamed of themselves for hooking up the top 3 Dems for a lovey-dovey 3-way on a faux M the P with the ‘oh so professional ‘ Tim Russert & Brian Williams, the BIGTIME ANCHOR that Michael Douglas intros every eve..... anyway, the future Prez, the alternate Prez & the 3rd runner-up Prez were indistinguishable, one from the other. And they all had a plan. All their plans sounded alike to me but, I’m in a chemo fog, what do I know? Pete Seeger sang, “They’re all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.....” My Momma said she was taught to “Get a plan, Fritzi” by her 8th grade teacher. And Connie Brean said, “A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” (Rob’t de Niro as Conrad Brean)
Talk about bread & circuses...Y’know, this whole show seems to have taken on an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ quality.
Maybe when NBC works out which is which, the Republicrats will be able to come to an agreement which top-ranked Idiot of the moment’ will be the token opponent.

Crastination, pro or con?

S’funny...well, in a way, I guess, me being a Master Procrastinator et al......an almost lifelong proponent of Alfred Doolittle’s philosphy....”with a little bit o’ luck, someone else’ll do the blinkin’ work....” don’t do t’day what ya c’n put off ‘til tomorrow........
The thing is, I really do want this Chemo stuff to be over and done with......like, the longer I have to deal with it, the longer ‘la vie miserable’ y’know what I mean???
But it’s really a question of balance.....I need to feel better for a little bit. I’d reached the point where my most strenous activity was taking a shower and that exhausted me to the point where I needed a nap. Taking a nap to recover from sleeping all nite is more than redundant....It’s positively socialistic, can’t figger out whether I’m a Democan or Republicrat kind’a thing.....
Anyway, I didn’t drive. I just rode around with Millyrose while we ran some errands.....that’s more exciting than it sounds.....at least, for me. Ever’ since I learned to drive, riding with someone else has almost always been a white-knuckled experience anyway. Elevates the pulse, enervates the blood pressure and, need I say, reminds you that life is precious.
I wuz just wonderin’.....if ya put things off all the time, how d’ya go from bein’ an amateur crastinator to a pro??
One of these days, I think I’ll take some time and figure that out....or not. Foggy here t’day. At least, outside is foggy. Sunny w/scattered clouds & chance of rain on the inside. Looking at clouds from both sides c’n be illusionary if not p’tick’ly illuminating......
Justin Other Smith

Chemo fog......

I griped about the lack of sunshine and t’day, we got a little sun......I wuz wund’ring if I wuz t’ gripe about a lack of money?????..........Prob’ly a waste of time......
I’m coming up on my last Chemo session and the doc told me that I c’d postpone it for a week if I wanted.......purpose giving me more recoop time ‘cuz I feel like I b’en run over and put away wet.....I told her that I’d just as soon get it over with but I’ve been pondering (not that easy in a Chemo fog) & now I’m thinking I might as well take another week.....if we’re gonna get a few days of sunshine, might be nice to feel well enuff to walk the dogs around the block.....Heck, it’s a short block, ain’t it?.....
I watched Hillary on M the P this morning....I wonder why she spells it with two L’s.....C-fog makes you wonder about the oddest things.......I think she’s gonna kick O’s butt...a lot of people’ll vote for O just ‘cause he’s black but prob’ly just as many’ll vote against him for the same reason...I don’t care what color he is, he’s just so darn young and I’m gonna vote for McCain anyway.....Old Farts gotta stick together...
Blame it on the C-fog if you want...Justin Other Smith

Under leaden skies........

I know there’s a sun up there. It’s just hiding. In years past I c’d always jump in my car and go up the hill and that jolly old sun’d be up there rollin’ round heaven all day.....(too maudlin for ya? I don’t care.) I miss ‘Ol Sol’....it’s easy to understand why the pasty-faced denizens of Seattle (rainy old Orey-goners) go even whackier when they get the occasional sunny day. Their famous grey skies also explain most of their erratic behavior.
I s’poze the abundance of sunny days in California explains our unfounded optimism in the face of earthquakes, fires, floods, mudslides and other disasters, natural and other that seem to threaten Californians on a daily basis. (It might also explain the popularity of Ah-nold but that’s a ‘nother hole story).
At any rate, in case you haven’t grasped the point of this ramble, I miss the sun.
“Blue skies, smilin’ at me.........” As a once upon a time salesman, blue sky is trade terminology for selling something that doesn’t really exist. But California is a real place. At least, I’m pretty sure that it’s real. Or very close to real. Or maybe, as that famed philospher, William Jefferson Clinton once opined, it all depends on what you mean by the word ‘is’...........Justin Other Smith

Chemo brain.........

The technical term is ‘Chemo Brain’..........or so saieth the sage Doc Kendra......that covers the inability to focus, the lack of concentration and short-term memory loss, tasteless food & drink, no energy, and the almost zero interest in everything. It also explains my ho-hum response when told the cancer was gone. It’s hard to be enthusiastic about anything when the ‘sick & tired of being sick & tired syndrome’ takes over your life.
Enuff whining already!
Next Tuesday is my last scheduled Chemo treatment. Doc Kendra told me that I could postpone it for a week, sort’a build up for it. I told her that I’d consider it but at the moment all I want is to get it over and done

Adrift on a sea of apathy.....

......or sumthin’ like, maybe a little too much selfpity altho’ I don’t know why..... I’m told the cancer is gone and I only have one more Chemo session to endure. I should be pretty happy about all that but for whatever reason I’ve been struggling with the simplest things......like getting out of bed or getting up from my chair......even taking a shower is a chore that takes some gutting up and leaves me feeling exhausted.
Big ol whiny crybaby, that’s me.....
Could be worse, I guess....I c’d be a PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE!
I wuz surprized t’other nite when Brian Williams (NBC) announced that THE MEDIA had got it all wrong. ‘Course, he then modified that statement by adding that they would undoubtedly get it all wrong again in a few more weeks. I wonder what he thinks is gonna take ‘em so long to screw up again. To err is human nature, to err multiple times on nat’l teevee is sheer determination fueled by gargantuan egoism.
I was also pleased to learn that THE MEDIA had rediscovered the fact that we are still a two-party nation and the republicans are not going to go away quietly. According to THE MEDIA, this is a two person race, either Clinton or Obama with the ever smarmy ambulance chaser, Edwards, waiting patiently for his 1/3 cut of the pie.........(well, that’s what lawyers do, don’t they?)
As far as the rest of the field is concerned, it’s like a horse race on a muddy track. You can’t tell who is who without a scorecard and the only reason they’re hanging in there is the hope that the front-runners will pile up in a tangle of broken limbs. Well, if they were horses, we c’d shoot ‘em but as they’re Pro Pols, God help us, they’ll turn into pundits and be around f’ever.
“Just bitching in the rain........” Justin Other Smith

Lull between lulls.........

It’s early morning here....quiet......lull between lulls, I guess......some storm yesterday. Blew down my little mini-garage altho prob’ly not beyond redemption. I’m told that none of us is beyond redemption but have you tried collecting from Sprint lately. Well, comparing rebates to redemption may be going a little far but that’s the language they use. Redeem your rebate! That’s what they say. The implied agreement is that you will buy at a stated price and they will send you a rebate that substantially lowers the price. The catch is......getting the rebate from a large company that says, “catch me if you can.”
And if you’ve ever been on the phone with a large company, you may have found yourself routed around the world several times before arriving at an automated message that in essence says, “up your nose with a rubber hose, buddy.” And even that, not necessarily in English.
So, we had a small storm; then we had a big storm, lots of wind and rain, lots of stuff flying thru the air tho’ I never caught hide or hair of Dorothy or Toto; I guess they lost power to about a million-three but they had if back on way faster than they did in Kansas where John and Delores were without for eight days. Good thing they lived in the city and not out in the country somewhere.
Anyway, it’s very calm and quiet here this AM....Millyrose & the dogs are sleeping soundly and only me and the damn roosters are stirring about. You’da tho’t all that damn wind would’a blown all those chickens back to Kansas where they would’a known what to do with ‘em.
Time for another cuppa coffee........Justin Other Smith

like the dry leaves, took to the sky.............

Well.....Thank God for small favors....the wind has died down. Not before taking out my little ‘mini’ garage as Sophia calls it. Opps. called it. I had a vision of it taking to the sky like Santa & and reindeers, a ghostly sail without a ship traveling thru storm-tossed skies........But Nope.....Thanks to Cary Heather and Millyrose and Da Gurlz, it ended ingloriously in a heap in my driveway. P’haps it c’n be resusiciated at some point in time. Hope so, the dern thaing cost me a hunnerd bucks at Pep Boyos and the neighbor who helped me put it up has since moved to Hanford. He tells me he hates Hanford so maybe he’ll make a FO run just to help me reassemble it. On the other hand, I don’t think I’ll hold my breath.
Kellye & da gurlz are back from Ol Virginny and Gina has returned from Paradise (Hawaii)...........
We appear to be getting enuff snow and rain to release us from our ongoing drought but given the tho’t processes of our fearless leaders, they will be so afraid of flooding that they will release most of the water so that the drought will continue prob’ly until the end of my life.......I don ‘t understand what is so difficult about only spending the money you take in ( it’s called a budget, stupid) and I don ‘t understand about sending water out to sea to avoid floods w hen it ‘s long-term drought that we face.......and I don’t understand what there is about getting elected to public office that atrophies the brain to where you don’t understand that illegal is ........well, illegal.
‘If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, then baffle ‘em with supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!’
Justin Other Smith W