Monday, April 20, 2009

Lottery dreams on a warm nite......

S’hard t’believe but it’s too durn hot t’sleep.....first nite in a long time that’s been the case.....we opened a window ‘n turned on the a/c fan ‘n I expect it’ll cool off eventually ‘n I’ll be able t’sleep.....in the meantime I’ll just sit here ‘n do this.....I can’t play any more Solitare for a while.....I’ve been reduced to playing games that I don’t know anything about ‘n couldn’t possibly beat ‘n it gets really boring losing one game after another.......
‘course, if you find one that y’can beat, it gets even more boring to win all the time......
speaking of games.....the trick of beating someone at their own g ame is.....First: Know when you’re being gamed....Second: Change the game......
I wonder why it’s so obvious when you see someone you know being gamed by an unscrupulous cheating SOB but you almost never realize when it’s happening to you.....
I guess that’s what makes Ponzi schemes successful over ‘n over.....also prob’ly accounts for the continued existence of Amway.....we’ll probably see a lot more of Amway ‘n the spin-offs in the days ‘n weeks ‘n months ahead.....get rich quick schemes do well during hard times and America is a land of entrepreneurial dreams and dreams are notoriously hard to kill.....Heck! Even the most cynical among us buys a lottery ticket once in a while.......

Friday, April 17, 2009

Pickles etc........

"If anybody shoots at me, I'm gonna kill him. Then I'm gonna kill his family and burn his damn house down." Will Munny of Missouri


There are things in the news that a body gets really tired of in a hurry.....y’know what I’m talking about...the weirdos who kidnap ‘n kill little children ‘n hide their bodies so the world c’n go a little nuts worrying about them....I think when they find people that do that kind of stuff they should just put them down the way they do mad dogs....I don’t see any point in torturing them...prob’ly that’s how they got weird in the first place, somebody abusing them when they were children...
And pirates.....they’re big in the news right now ‘n I’m weary of them having their fifteen minutes of fame...
I don’t really care what the rest of the world does about the pirates of Somalia but as far as the USA is concerned, we shouldn’t negotiate with them...We need t’remember Tom Jefferson ‘n the Barbary Coast pirates of yore.....what was it he said, “Millions for defense, not one red cent for tribute.”....well, sumthing like that.....
We should give them a short time period, ten or fifteen minutes, to release their hostage unharmed or suffer the consequence, to wit: Kill them. Go to their homes and kill their families and burn their houses. Kill anyone who comes to their defense and burn their houses. Salt the earth where they lived....
Ah well, it’s Friday again, ain’t it? Still, the sun is shining, the birds are singing (well, the chickens are making chicken noises)....what’s the line? “God’s in His heaven, all’s right with the world.”......That is t’say, that all’s right with the world if you have a job or an income...
if you ain’t facing cataclysmic medical bills ‘n if you ain’t about t’get kicked out’a your campsite.....ah what the hell...look on the sunny side...if you watch ‘network’ news, ev’rything is just hunky-dory...the stock market is going back up, the stimulus is gonna put money in your pocket, ‘n all those bad guys at General Motors are gonna be denied unemployment.....I wonder what kind of unemployment check you c’d get if you’ve been making multi-millions of dollars a year in salary ‘n even more in bonuses...I understand that Warren Buffett lost more last year than most countries are able to budget...still, I bet he won’t miss a meal....which in this over-fed country is not a big deal, I guess....I think the rest of the world thinks we prob’ly got it coming....they’ve been missing meals for a long time so it’s doubtful that we’ll get much sympathy.....not that I’m looking for sympathy y’understand....I’m about forty pounds or so overweight so it ain’t like I’ve been missing any meals...I feel like I’m whining...d’ya think I’m whining?...I don’t want to whine.....like that Arlo Guthrie line, “I don’t want a pickle, I just want to ride on my motorcycle....”
‘Cept I don’t have a motorcycle...I do have a pickle however.......

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter.......

Ahh lessee.....sleep in....coffee...toasted croissant ‘n home made apple butter....oh yeah, all that ‘n sunshine too.....Happy Easter everyone!
Boy, I tried watching the news this morning... that just ain’t a good way t’start the day....not when they keep saying the same depressing things over ‘n over ‘n over again.....I’m tired of ‘bama ‘n what kind of a dog he’s gonna get for his kids....don’t misunderstand me, I’m in favor of dogs for kids...Heck! I’m in favor of dogs for most anyone ‘cept those strange people that don’t like ‘n mistreat ‘em.....I ain’t saying that ‘bamas kids are gonna mistreat their dog....they’ll prob’ly luv it ‘cause most kids love dogs....y’gotta wonder what kind of life this dog is gonna have in ‘The White House’....’n who’s gonna have to clean up after it ‘cause as you know, ev’ry dog considers the whole world to be a bathroom....s’funny cause my two dogs are pretty much housebroke...at least if we don’t leave ‘em alone for too long or if Rusty ain’t mad at us....
Willie’ll wait ‘til he’s about ready to bust ‘n Rusty’ll wake me in the middle of the nite but when Rusty gets mad at us, he goes into the front hallway ‘n craps....then when we come home ‘n see it, he hides under the computer desk ‘n stares balefully at us.....
anyways....it’s time t’go to Kellye’s for Easter brunch.....

Friday, April 3, 2009

Therapeutic rant......

“Nothing impedes therapy like acute intermittent flatulence.”

I don’t know where I heard that but I’m not gonna take credit for saying it....I’ll just pass it along for what it’s worth...
I wish I c’d explain that to my dogs...maybe they need more exercise or less food or maybe I shouldn’t feed them scraps of toast or whatever altho’ I really don’t think it’s the ‘people’ food they get....it might be the food they steal or whatever it is that they find outside ‘n Gawd alone knows what that c’d be.....but when you’re having a quiet evening in front of the telly ‘n the dogs are asleep and a fetid odor comes drifting......well, even if y’don’t get the drift, I did....
ANYWAYS.....t’is three in the A.M. again ‘n I find m’self sitting in front of the computer ‘stead of pounding my ear...
It’s a quiet nite.....no sirens, no traffic noise, no bloody chickens cackling altho’ I’m sure all those things are subject to change....s’funny how those darn chickens set up such a fuss whenever anything moves on this little street but the creepers who come in the nite to rifle what unlocked vehicles they find here don’t seem to disturb them.....evidently neither do the wannabe gangsta taggers that come thru here periodically with their ubiquitous spray cans of paint...y’d think that in artsy Ol Fair Oaks we’d at least have taggers with talent but no such luck...all we get are no-talent hacks that don’t know how to spell....well, those ‘n whoever it is that keeps pulling up the same stop sign in the middle of the Village....wonder why the County doesn’t replace it with one made out of metal ‘n set in stone....cost more in the beginning, I’m sure, but since it gets taken down so often, it should be amortized fairly quickly....on that proverbial other hand, replacing the stop sign does seem to provide steady employment for someone.....’n y’know, if the County wanted to help in this recession by putting people to work, they c’d sell off those gargantuan garbage trucks that rumble about the highways ‘n byways of our fair land ‘n replace ‘em with smaller, quieter, cheaper trucks, staff ‘em like they used to with a driver ‘n two pickup men....why, they used to come into your yard to pick up your garbage ‘n they did it for, as I recall, about two or three dollars a week......’n that wasn’t in my ‘way back when’ days cause they didn’t even have garbage service back then.....we just tossed our leftovers into the back of the cave....simple folk we were.....
‘Course, I was back in the hills of Kentucky a few years ago ‘n lots of people had their own private dumps...I never tho’t much of it when I was a kid, but those are really bad things t’day....when I heard that the present Governor of Kentucky wanted to provide garbage pickup for every resident of the State, I tho’t that was a good idea (even tho’ basically I’m ag’in guv’mint interference).....
I think cleaning up our planet is a good thing ‘n I think we should put Martha in charge....she’d have to be better at it than any politician cuz I don’t trust politicians....Heck! I don’t know anyone with an IQ over forty that’d trust a politician as much as a car salesman ‘n that’s my last word for t’day......s