Monday, June 30, 2008

Bread 'n Circuses.......

Way back in 1960, John Kennedy ran for President. I liked JFK, believed in him, voted for him. He was charismatic, personable, and he gave a heck of a speech. And he looked very good on television, especially against Richard Nixon. John was the second son of a very rich man named Joseph Kennedy. Joe Kennedy was a very ambitious man. He became wealthy as a bootlegger, a compatriot of Alphonse Capone. The difference was that while Capone and the Italian/Sicilian Mafia tried to buy the police departments and the judges, the Kennedys were Irish and the Irish were the police departments and the judges. No contest. Capone went to prison for tax evasion and Joe Kennedy went to the Court of St. James as United States Ambassador.
And in 1960, with the possible connivance of organized crime, Joseph Kennedy bought his son the Presidency of the United States.
There’s an old adage that says, “Be careful what you wish for, you may get it.” The Kennedys have become world famous, not for JFK’s Presidency, but for all the ill that has befallen the family.
Now, Obama and the Chicago machine are out to duplicate the Kennedy gambit. They raised approximately 300 million dollars to spend on the Democratic Primary and they look to raise another 300 million to spend on the general election.
One of the things the Democratic Party plans to do with the more than half billion dollars is to register as many new voters as possible. Their target audience is the young, the poor, the needy. The ‘Have-nots’, if you will, and the Obama promise is to give them more. In ancient Rome, they called it ‘bread and circuses’...or if you prefer, large scale bribery.
The Beatles sang, “Money can’t buy me love...” but it can buy the media. Television, radio, magazines and newspapers are all for sale to the highest bidder and that bidder is Barack Obama. And if he’s successful in buying the presidency, all those young, impassioned voters should be very careful what they wish for....they might get it.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Hoorah for the Red, White,'n Blue.....

As ever’one with access to a telly or newspaper knows, California is burning....durn near the ‘hull State, I guess..
over a thousand fires ‘n counting.....and the Fourth of July is upon us......that grand and glorious day when we celebrate the birth of our nation with the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air, ectcetera ad infinitum..
Back in my way back when time, which Cary Heather assures me she never tires of...(‘n I almost believe her)
we had ‘real’ fireworks.....not the sissy kind of stuff that you find t’day.....the cheapest firecrackers were, I think, Doughboy.....they had a picture of a World War I so’jer on ‘em and they were capable of blowing off a finger, or maybe a hand....we had, ‘n I forget the name, little round balls that looked like red marbles....y’could throw ‘em ‘n they’d explode on impact...very satisfying....
but the creme de la creme of backyard fireworks wuz Roman Candles....they were magnificent...they were a long tube ‘n they shot balls of different colored flame....
y’could shoot ‘em into the air or....y’could have fights with them ‘n shoot at each other....Back then, the Fourth of July actually lasted for several weeks, beginning with the sound of an isolated firecracker going off becuz someone just cudn’t wait any longer...over the next two weeks or so, it built to a crescendo of absolutely magnificent proportions culminating on the evening of the actual Fourth.....On that evening, the road bordering the Ohio River wud be packed with automobiles and families on blankets, all waiting for it to get dark enuff for the fireworks to erupt over Ol Man River....
And did they ever.....the nite sky wuz filled with vivid colors....fireworks formed pictures....the big one being the Stars ‘n Stripes....It went on for hours ‘n hours, well....maybe I exaggerate a little bit, but I wuz awful young way back then ‘n I’m talking about a time just after World War II when the ‘hull country wuz maybe just a little giddy and ever’thing seemed possible....
Anyway, Arnold (we call our gov by his first name) asked the people of California not to buy fireworks this year becuz of the unprecedented fire danger....I tho’t it wuz a reasonable request but everybody didn’t think so....
Ya gotta love Brent Black of Sacramento.....the 26 year old lineman sez, “giving up fireworks is like, imposing on our freedom, (Dude) California is already highly regulated. It comes down to personal responsibility.”
“Right-t!”
It’s the driest year on record, the driest that I c’n recall since I arrived here in 1960.....With over a thousand fires burning in California, the smoke is so intense that millions of Californians have been forced to curtail their outdoor activities. This, in a State where from April to November, most of life is lived outdoors.
But, hey, there’s no reason to curb individual freedoms.
Arnold has the right and the power to impose a statewide ban on fireworks. He merely asked, with the fire danger so high, that Californians should not add to the danger by setting off unregulated fireworks.
The article mentioned that Arnold is only a naturalized citizen; how could he possibly understand how much joy is inherent in allowing an individual citizen to burn down his very own neighborhood? There must be something in the constitution that sez we don’t have to listen to unwanted advice.
"Hoorah for the Red, White, 'n Blue, for a duck may be sumbody's Mother....."

Friday, June 27, 2008

A little fiber.......

I’ve spent the last few days mostly indoors....becuz of all the fires 'n the wood smoke in the air.....I’ve been around fires before...recall being let out of school to fight forest fire when I wuz at South Portsmouth...as I recall, the State of Kentucky sent me two checks for two different fires.......’round 50 cents each, I think .....come to think on it, that wuzn’t bad wages in ‘49 or ‘50
which is totally beside the point but digression seems to be sumthin’ I do well.....Millyrose ‘n I walked the dogs down the street to the Catholic Radio Station on the corner.....Doug Leonard takes care of that property ‘n he sez he don’t care if we clean after the dogs or not....
‘Course, we do anyway.....Millyrose wudn’t have it any other way.....I swear, when I wuz a boy I never ever tho’t that I’d pick up dog crap in a plastic baggie.....
I wuz thinkin’ that y’can taste the air, it’s so thick with smoke....’n it crossed my mind that p’haps it’s also a way to get a little fiber in your diet.....prob’ly not the healthiest way however.....whatever, I’ll be glad when we get enuff of a Delta breeze to blow the smoke away....I miss my daily swim......

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Hazy daze....Holidaze....

“Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothin’ the matter with this except it ain’t so.” Mark Twain

Here t’is Thursday already....the sky is grey, hazy from the smoke of all the fires, so many that they ain’t been counted....a thousand, I guess, more or less......Arnie asked people not to buy fireworks for the upcoming Fourth of July...sez it’s too dry, too dangerous....’n he’s right but he’s being excoriated by all the groups that make money off the sale of fireworks...that attitude pretty much sums up the main problem with California politics....namely: budget cuts hurt and nobody wants to be part of the group that gets hurt...it don’t matter that darn near the ‘hull blame state is burning, a handful of people want to sell their fireworks ‘n they’re mad ‘cuz the Guv sez they should cut back....sounds like the schools....they know the State doesn’t have enuff money to operate but they don’t want to be the ones to take a cut....
That’s sort’a like taxes and the Tooth Fairy.... The Dem’s say that anyone who thinks you c’n balance the budget without raising taxes must still believe in the Tooth Fairy....
Well, heck! Every parent knows who the Tooth Fairy really is and every parent who celebrates Christmas knows only too well who really foots the bill for Santa’s visit and only the terminally naive believe more taxes will lead to a balanced budget.
Every working person who has experienced too much month left at the end of their paycheck knows that all they have to do is go to their employer and say, “I’m having a cash flow problem and I need to assess you for additional revenue to balance my budget.”
And, of course, that old employer just dug a little deeper and said, “Sure, how much do you need?”
But, pigs don’t really fly and I pay the bills for the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, so I understand their reality. What I don’t understand is the reality of tax and spend politicians and the gullibility of people who believe them.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A Place in the boat.......

Just a comment on ‘illegal aliens’ or, if you prefer, undocumented immigrants. Us reg’lar Americans, as a general rule, don’t like ‘em. The exception, of course, being the people who hire them for less money than they’d have to pay us legal ‘Amurricans.’
We ever’day Amurricans prefer legal or ‘documented’ immigrants; those people who do the paperwork, the ones that dot the eyes and cross the tees and promise to be good little boys and girls and obey the laws of the United States. And coincidentally, can stand in line at the DMV like the rest of us and take the test and get a drivers license. Legally. Any state in the union. No problema.
And likewise, enjoy the protection of Law. They cannot be arrested without cause, held incommunicado, and/or deported without facing deportation hearings in a court of law. They are entitled to their day in court. Basically, they have the same legal rights as reg’lar ol’ ever’day Americans.
Those who sneak into this country, no matter how desperate their situation in their country of origin, should be apprehended and deported. It’s illegal. Which means, and I’ll say it slowly for those of you who don’t understand, it’s against the law.
And those who employ them, those who encourage their illegal behavior should be arrested and charged with subversion, or fraud, or tax evasion or at least fined exorbitantly, thereby raising the cost factor of hiring undocumented immigrants far above those who reside here legally.
As a rule, we Americans are generous and compassionate givers. We unhesitatingly provide aid and comfort to victims around the world. We open our hearts and wallets every day to those in need. And we don’t ask if someone needy is legal or not. But that’s an individual decision and not a state-sponsored mandate.
And it isn’t just an American thing, people around the world do that every day and they do it without thinking about reward in this world or the next; they do it out of some inherent sense of herd survival or, maybe it’s a family of man thing. But somewhere, right now, someone is putting their life on the line for a stranger. People do that.
So yeah, when we see the face of an undocumented alien, the natural impulse is to help. Damn the law, help a fellow human being. Except from a practical view, it’s impossible to save everyone who needs saving. We can’t feed the world. We can’t succor the world. And if our sacrifices are too great, we won’t survive.
And while that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try, it also means that if you don’t want to put your life at risk in moments of imminent danger, you shouldn’t have to. It is strictly voluntary.
And we have poor in this country. We have needy in this country. And we don’t need bleeding heart liberals who hire undocumented immigrants to clean their houses and raise their children (at bargain rates) to accuse us of being cold and uncaring of the plight of all the poor and needy who come streaming into our country illegally simply to find a better life.
And I don’t blame them for wanting to come here. Of course they want a better life. That’s why my ancestors came here. Hell, that’s why everybody’s ancestors came here.
But when the lifeboat is filled beyond capacity; when one more body will sink the boat and kill everyone aboard; when compassion goes beyond reason; then I suggest that the ‘bleeding heart liberals’ sacrifice themselves before asking that I give up my place in the boat.

Oh Susanna.......

“rained so hard the day I left, the weather, it wuz dry, sun so hot, I froze to death.....”



“In the blueridge mountains of Virginia.........” Oops! That haze ain’t Virginia......It’s northern California where we currently have almost a thousand fires going.....it’s been the dryest Spring on record and the gods are giving us a hint of ....hmmm, well I ain’t sure but it certainly is hot ‘n smoky....with air you c'n get your teeth into.... By the numbers.....breathe in....chew.....breathe out.......

We are surely having some strange weather.....drought in the West.....record floods in the mid-West.... hurricanes and tornadoes in this hemisphere.... typhoons and cyclones in the southern....earthquakes all over the durn globe....
Speaking of the weather and things political....(c’mon, ever’thing is political this year.)...I believe it may be starting to rain on Baramas parade....it’s just a sprinkle now ‘n I ain’t sure he’s even noticed it yet..... or if he has, it’s kinda like raindrops on a ducks back.....
McCain, on t’other hand, has been sloggin’ thru the rain forever, or so it seems.....he’s got his poncho snugged tight, his boots are muddy, ‘n the rain just keeps comin.....but he’s got his head down ‘n he just keeps on truckin’.....
There’s an awful lot of ‘true’ conservatives that don’t like John McCain....he’s just too durn liberal for them, why heck, he’s almost a (gasp) Democrat....or so they say, but it’s my belief that when they’re faced with a choice of McCain or a truly liberal Barama, they’ll suck it up and vote for McCain....’n I also think that when it comes down to the wire, an awful lot of Democrats, the old reg’lar middle of the road Democrats, not the liberal elite, are gonna vote for McCain also.....
‘Course, I’ve been wrong before.....Sumtimes, it seems like I’ve made a life-long career out’a being wrong..... Heck! I voted for JFK.....’n that led to escalation in Vietnam, the Bay of Pigs ‘n the confrontation with Nicky Khruschev in Cuba.....and I still supported him and wuz devastated when he wuz shot down in Dallas.....I liked Kennedy but he wuz too young 'n inexperienced...'n this ain't the sixties, Iraq 'n Afghanistan are shootin' wars.......
In the ‘70’s when Millyrose told me that a peanut farmer from Georgia wuz gonna be our next prez, I sed, “No way, Jose.” But I voted for him. I tho’t he wuz a bright fella ‘n would make a good President....even after he wuz a spectacular failure as Prez, I tho’t he wuz still one of our smartest Presidents ever....just goes to show that smart ain’t always the best yardstick....common sense seems to beat out smart ever’ time.....

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Why would you believe me....

when I said I love you when you know I’ve been a liar all my life?”.

I saw an Obama defender get so excited trying to say Barack Obama that it came out as ‘Barama’.....

Ol Barama sez he respects McCain for his military service, but.....I always hated it when girls would say I wuz cute, but.....Every time you hear that ‘but’ you just know there’s a sucker punch comin’......

Barama is for campaign reform as long as it don’t apply to him.....he’s got so much money flowing to him, it’s like the Mississippi River in Ioway.....people say you can’t blame him for taking the money....it’s a pile of money....
‘Course, he did say any number of times that he wouldn’t take it.....So, whatta we know? Barama, like most pol’s talks out of both sides of his face...sumtimes at the same time...
Hmmmmm.....Joe Biden sez, “So what! All that money is coming from reg’lar people....a hundred bucks or less.....means Barama ain’t beholden to BIG MONEY.".....but Joe, that ain’t quite true.....40 some percent of Barama’s money comes from small donations....all the rest comes from.....wait for it........BIG MONEY! In other words, bizness as usual.
Then Joe sed, "McCain’s a flip-flopper. First he was against drilling and now he’s for it.” Circumstances change, Joe, ‘n five dollar a gallon gas is a circumstance that can change a lot of minds...and y’know, if it wuz Barama’ssuggestion, Joe Biden ‘ud be selling t’other side of the story....I gotta say that I’m kinda leery of allowing Big Oil to drill wherever and however they want.....They need a lot of oversight ‘cuz they’ve proven over the years that they just ain’t the most trustworthy players in the game.....Same as mining for coal.....or gold, or silver, or uranium......or broadcasting over the public airwaves ‘as far as that goes......Heck! Politicians need a lot of oversight. Y’can’t trust anybody that has a chance to sup at the public trough. Remember George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’...."some animals are just more equal than others......"
It’s hard to tell when politicians tell the truth ‘cuz their lips move just the same way as when they tell a lie... Ol Barama wuz givin’ a speech to mostly African Americans....n’ what he sed wuz the Republicans wuz gonna try ‘n make people afraid of him by sayin’ that he was too young and too inexperienced, and by the way, he wuz black....’n had a feisty wife......He got a pretty good laugh with that line but I ain’t sure what he meant by ‘feisty’.....I’ve never met his wife in person but she looks pretty big t’be called ‘feisty’........maybe he wuz sayin’ that the Republicans wuz gonna try ‘n make people afraid of his wife.....I’ve been married a long time and I’ll testify that being afraid of wives is a healthy thing.

Monday, June 23, 2008

In plain English......

I’m thinkin’ that during the Democratic Primary in West Virginia and Kentucky, Ol’ Barama didn’t try 'cuz he didn’t speak or understand the language....That’s kinda funny ‘cuz the Scotch Irish dialect spoken in these two states is the very same dialect spoken by about 80% of the United States.....it c’d be that he’s just too smart for his own good.......
Now, I didn’t write the ‘West Virginia Ten Commandments’ ...but I kinda wish I had.....maybe if Jeremiah Wright and Father Pfleger c’d read ‘em this way, we c’d all get along better........

Some people in West Virginia have trouble with all those 'shalls' and 'shall not's' in the Ten commandments.  Folks just ain’t used to talkin’ in those terms..  So, somebody translated the 'King James' into 'Country' language..... no joke, read on...
.
The Hillbilly's Ten Commandments (posted on the wall at First Baptist Church in Summersville, West Virginia)
 (1) Just one God
(2) Put nothin' before God
(3) Watch yer mouth              
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa
(6) No killin'     
(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal  
(8) Don't take what ain't yers
(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff
 
Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think?  
 Y'all have a nice day

Saturday, June 21, 2008

The more things change....

..the more they stay the same.

sscarver said...
I live in South Shore, KY...probably not much has changed since you were here.


As my children would no doubt testify, I’m kind’a fond of regaling them with tales of my ‘way back when time’ and the almost mythical town of South Shore.....Well, South Shore ain’t a myth altho’ some of my stories are certainly suspect.....
I left Kentucky in 1960. In person and in fact but, as Jesse Stuart wuz fond o’ saying, “Once you’ve tasted the lonesome water of the hills, you’re bound to come back.”
I’ve been back a number of times to visit friends and family but, in some ways, in my mind, I never left at all.
I visited South Shore a lot in the stories that I told to my children, to my friends and, well sometimes, to ‘most anyone who wanted to listen....A lot of times, I changed the names to protect the guilty but now and then I just told the stories the way they happened. Or at least, the way I remember them happening......
When my kids finally visited South Shore, they pretty much had an idea of what they were seeing.....but there have been changes.
Oh, the place is about the same size as it was in the fifties, the difference was......
“Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way....”

Back then, South Shore had three theaters....the Kentucky and across the street, the Bluegrass.... and across the tracks, the Bluegrass Drive In.....
and restaurants, Wright’s, the Triangle and the Tea Room....Bennett’s Tea Room was on the corner as long as I c’n remember. In the mid-fifties, Teddy Thompson bought it. But he never changed it. It still had the same wooden booths carved with generations of names...
There were two new car dealers in South Shore then...Frank Wheeler Chevrolet and Sims Kaiser/Fraser....Paul Davis had the gas station but Paul only came out to pump gas for very special customers...the rest of us pumped our own long before self-service became the norm.
There was a bank, a couple barbershops, a beauty parlor and Harvey’s Appliances.....
McDonald’s Drugstore had a soda fountain which you can’t hardly find anywhere in this day and age...and they built a brand new Methodist Church right up the street from Pop’s Pool Hall....My kids were a little disappointed that those places were gone but they know where they were and, more importantly, that they were.
“Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same...”

Friday, June 20, 2008

Yeller Dog Democrat......

Over the years, I've told a lot of stories about eastern Kentucky and the people I grew up with. Sometimes, I've changed the names to protect the guilty but not always......I’ve told a lot of stories about my buddy, Pig. Pig got his nickname from his Uncle Bob when he ‘uz just a baby....’n all these years later, he’s still ‘Pig’ to his friends.....
One of our friends back home is E.V. McGuire. E.V goes down the hill from his house to have coffee with the local liars most mornin’s where they discuss the state of the world and other important topics.....One of them old boys asked him if he knew what a Yeller Dog Democrat was?.....
E.V. sed, “he guessed that if Hitler wuz runnin’ on the Democrat ticket, he’d win.” Turned out that wuz pretty close..... it’s a Democrat who’d vote for a yeller dog if he wuz on the ticket.....Now, I ain’t callin’ Pig a Yeller Dog Democrat, it’s just that he’s what you might call bred in the bone ......So wuz I....when I wuz a boy, nobody I knew wud admit to bein' a Republican.....Greenup County, Kentucky is and has been s’long as ‘most folks c’n recall, a Democrat county....Republicans in Greenup County generally stay in the closet or move....
I wuz back there a couple years ago ‘n the designated Republican of Greenup County wuz Louie Bentley. Lou is an old running mate of brother John and he ran for office on the Republican ticket. Louie’s born ‘n raised in Greenup County ‘n he’s got a lot of friends but nobody voted for him.....
I figure Pig has got himself a dilemma this year... I wondered how he wuz gonna choose t’ween Hillary ‘n Obama ‘n now I’m wonderin’ if he’s a Yeller Dog Democrat or (gasp...shudder-shudder) vote for McCain..... whichever way he goes, he’s still my friend....

Yella Dog Democrats......

I’ve told a lot of stories about my buddy, Pig. Pig got his nickname from his Uncle Bob when he ‘uz just a baby....’n all these years later, he’s still ‘Pig’ to his friends.....
Brother John wuz tellin’ me about ‘Yella-dog Democrats’..
That ‘ud be a southern Democrat, a bred in the bone, dyed in the wool, vote the ticket or die Democrat who’d vote for a yella dog if he wuz on the ticket.....Now, I ain’t callin’ Pig a Yella-dog Democrat, but Greenup County, Kentucky is and has been s’long as ‘most folks c’n recall, a Democrat county....Republicans in Greenup County generally stay in the closet or move....Louie Bentley, an old running mate of brother John, is the Greenup County Republican. He ran for office on the Republican ticket. His many friends love him but they didn’t vote for him......anyway, I’ve been givin’ some tho’t to Pig and the dilemma he appears to be in this political season....is he gonna hold his nose ‘n vote for the Yella-dog........ or...(gasp...shudder-shudder) vote for McCain..... I’m thinkin’ that ‘ud be a hard decision for a bred in the bone Democrat.....

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Junebugs on a string.......

“In the summertime when all the trees, the leaves are green......” Roger Miller
I like summertime...always have, I guess. “No more school, no more books, no more Teacher’s dirty looks....”
Pretty tame lyrics compared to what the kids come up with t’day.....but I didn’t make ‘em up, I just remembered them......
I s’pose I have as many false memories of my youth as ever’one else....heck, maybe more. Junebugs on a string to the ‘dog days’ of August.....Seems like I spent my summers wand’ring the hills and the riverbank....I know those memories ain’t entirely factual but, that’s what I got....honeysuckled hills and big river....a great big playground, a little more dangerous playground in many respects....safer in others.....
We moved to Beattyville in time for me to start in the 3rd grade....I wuz seven years old but I turned eight in September and Miz Fanny Williams wuz teacher.....she made the ‘wicked witch of the west’ seem like someone’s Grandmother.........
Beattyville wuz a small village (smaller now) on the southern end of the Ohio River Shelf, a flat spot ‘tween the hills and the mighty Ohio River.....it had gravel and cinder streets and wuz more formally known as South Portsmouth becuz it’s across the river from Portsmouth, Ohio.....(that’s prob’ly more hist’ry than anyone wants to know)...
There were steamboats on the river and steam locomotives pulling the trains and ev’ry summer was a lifetime.....’cuz when you’re a kid, the world is brand new and stretches out in front of you f’ever ‘n ever......

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Told ya so.........

Have y’ heard? It made national news....coffee is good for you. And it wudn’t a study by some coffee company hopin’ to beef up their sales. Nosirreebob, they were doin’ research on heart-healthy food and drink. And SURPRISE-SURPRISE....coffee is good for you. Like I been sayin’ all along. The same as chocolate. And red wine. Like ever’one else in the world, I love sayin’...”I hate to say this but I told you so all along.”
They’ve been saying for a long time that various teas are good for you but coffee has been a contentious bone stuck in the craw of dieticians ever’where...Same with butter and fried eggs. The anorexic diet gurus all seem t’be on retainer from margarine manufacturers and the criteria for determining the ‘best for you’ margarine seems t’be...the worse the taste, the better it is for you. I think they call that ‘better living through chemistry.’ Chemists make margarine and cows make butter. I’ll put my faith in the cow ever’time...
The ubiquitous ‘They’ have been changin’ all the guidelines recently....blood pressure and blood sugar need to be lower....exercise levels need to be elevated. Thirty minutes a day ain’t enuff....ya gotta walk that treadmill for an hour....Fat is out, starvation is in. Junk food is bad and cardboard if good. If you wanna live long enuff t’be really old and decrepit, you need to starve yourself.
‘Course, it’s prob’ly oxymoronic that overweight Americans for the most part have longer life spans than any civilization in history.
I wuz told that I need to lower my ‘bad’ cholesterol and raise my ‘good’ cholesterol, so to that end, I hearkened to the television commercials and reintroduced oatmeal to my diet. ‘Course, I made some minor additions just to make it a little more appealing.....y’know...bananas, raisins, brown sugar, milk and other things depending on what’s available at the moment.
I add sum buttered toast (whole grain, of course) for additional fiber and wash the ‘hull mess down with three or four mugs of coffee, which according to my dieticians measurements, equal six to eight cups and helps to jump-start a nervous tic at the corner of her left eye...
I told her that I’d heard that a bottle of beer ever’ day would help raise my good cholesterol....She cringed and sed that wuz true but beer wuz so bad for you otherwise....
An apple a day is s’pozed to be so good for you that it may sum day require a prescription and a co-pay...’Course, if your new teeth won’t allow you to crunch that apple, you c’n always turn to your juicer (available at Costco and other fine stores) and turn the entire apple, peel, core, seeds, et al into a senior slurpee. Y’could prob’ly add a little dark chocolate to the mix and make it even healthier.
It all reminds me of that old Woody Allen movie where future generations discovered that booze, tobacco and fat were all super beneficial to humanss. (Sighhhhh)

When I use'ta be......

..I remember when I use’ta be a Democrat and I swear, I don’t believe I’ve changed all that much.....and if I ain’t changed, then the Democrat party changed....In my way back when time, Franklin D. wuz Prez....four times....I guess y’could say he was a popular fella....and liberal....why, he was the very model of a modern Major....liberal. With a small L as opposed to the Uber Liberals of t’day.....Old Franklin D. practically gave away the store....’Course, he did have the Great Depression to deal with and not much of a store, compared to t'day....and unlike t’day, it really wuz a Depression with massive unemployment, breadlines and homeless far surpassing what we have t’day....and no safety nets!
No unemployment compensation and no medical.....people wandered back and forth across the ‘hull damn country in search of work; homeless camps and hobo jungles sprouted ever’where and Potter’s Fields....y’don’t hear much about Potter’s Fields t’day but thousands got anonymous burials in the dark thirties.....
And while Franklin’s workfare projects helped, it took a world war to get us out of that depression.
One of the major differences between then and now is, back then, the entire country was at war. And not just on the fronts. Here, at home, in this country. There weren’t any war protesters.....they’da been tarred and feathered (or worse). Ever’one seemed to be involved in ‘doing their part’.....
Today, we’re at war again and I see a lot of bumper stickers supporting our troops but most people go about their daily lives as if ‘Bush’s War’ was......well, inconvenient.
I guess if you blame it on George Bush, if it’s Bush’s War, then he’s to blame and the rest of us can just pretty much ignore any responsibility.
And the Democrats can point fingers and bluster; they can mount protests and post libelous letters to the editor; they can say and do anything they want so long ‘cuz the war ain’t their fault...why, they wuz lied to...mis-led....by all them durn Republicans.....
But an awful lot of Americans are taking responsibility for them....
A lot of young men and women.....older ones, too....part-time soldiers...I guess y’could call’em ‘Citizen Soldiers’....or would that be a cliche?????......
And I remember when I use’ta be a Democrat...........

Monday, June 16, 2008

California dreamin'.....

The absolute necessity for a Liberal Elite......
Justin Other Smith

prob’ly best read with a jaundiced eye........

It seems that one of the major problems of the blue-collar working poor is that we just don’t know how to manage our resources......The ‘slash ‘n burn’ mentality of the preceding generations ain’t gonna work anymore. I mean, we’ve really screwed up our environment with this nonsensical idea of what constitutes liberty. Freedom doesn’t mean that we should be allowed to clearcut all the forests, plow up all the prairies, stripmine all the coal and drill anywhere we want for oil to be sold on the open market......No! Freedom means that we should preserve all those resources for future generations... That’s why we need the Liberal Elite...
How else would we know that higher prices for gasoline is really a good thing for us becuz the government c’n make more money ‘n spend it to improve the environment.....our environment, the one we’re gonna pass on to our children.......(hopefully)
The LE has been talking about how bad our gas-guzzling clunkers are for the environment and how much better flex-fuel autos ‘ud work for people ever’where becuz ‘poor’ people can’t afford five buck a gallon gas.......I ain’t sure how a ‘poor’ person can afford to replace their gas-guzzling clunker with a thirty thousand dollar environmentally efficient flex-fuel government approved vehicle but I’m sure the LE will figure out a way to take care of us.....I mean, that’s what Government is for, ain’t it?
‘Course, we’d all prob’ly have to take the bus.....I remember ‘the bus’.......that’s what reg’lar people used to ride in my ‘way back when time’ when we wanted to go sumplace......There was Greyhound and Trailways that pretty much covered the ‘hull country and ever’ city that was worth its salt had their very own municipal bus line....why, heck, y’c’ud go ‘most anywhere that you wanted ‘n if it didn’t go right to the door, why walking is very healthful.....with the added benefit that we wouldn’t be poisoning the environment...
I want’a say right up front here, that I never, ever considered myself to be poor. ‘Course, I knew we weren’t rich. I guess I just always tho’t I was middle-class.....as was just about ever’one I knew....’Course, that’s always just a matter of perspective. If we’d lived the same lifestyle in another area, we’d have been poor...
or in some areas of the world, we’d have been very rich.
It’s all in the perspective.
I was born during the Great Depression but I don’t really remember any of it, only the stories I was told.
In the movies of that era, there seems to have been a great divide between the ‘haves’ and the ‘havenots’.... but, y’know.....most of my life has been spent during a time when those extremes were blurred. We’ve always had the very poor and the very rich but mostly, it seemed like the majority of Americans were firmly entrenched in the great middle class.....
Now, we’re seeing the top echelon of the middle class moving into the ‘very rich’ category and the lower echelon, unfortunately, moving into a new classification called the ‘working poor’.....and we’ve seen an explosion in the ranks of the Liberal Elite....and the LE don’t seem to comprehend from whence they sprang.
Years ago, I knew a person who owned a 7-11 franchise store. People who for whatever reason couldn’t or wouldn’t work for someone else would scrape together enough money to purchase a franchise....in plainspeak, buy themselves a job.
There was an explosion of sorts in the fabled seventies and a lot of people who had bought themselves jobs, found the money rolling in. Overnight millionaires. And the funniest thing happened. A lot of them suddenly discovered that they were financial whizzes...much smarter than their friend and neighbors. They joined the ranks of ‘The Elitists’......
And of course, being an Elitist gave them the right to tell us less successful types what we were doing wrong and what we should do to improve our lives.....
Now, in all them third world countries that we are tryin’ so hard to emulate, poor people don’t buy homes and cars and suchlike....poor people, working poor people that is, live in cramped apartments and travel on mass transit. Of course, there are some that own bicycles, motor scooters, even motorcycles. And people walk. People walk all over Europe. Big Deal! Rhode Island could qualify as a country in Europe and Texas could be several countries.
All over the world, working class poor people, the WCPP, live their lives without ever owning a home or automobile. Television, they got. Cell phones, they got. And they got their ruling class....their Liberal Elite.....to admire, to ape, and, of course, to run their governments for them..
Just imagine how much better life c’d be for most of us if we just let the Liberal Elite choose the best and brightest (of them, of course) to run our country for us. Ah-h! Utopia.......

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Fathers Day......

My kids called him ‘Pop’.....well, except for Cary who generally referred to him as ‘Old Man’ or ‘Baldy’.....I just called him ‘Dad’ as did my brothers....Fathers of his generation, at least working class fathers.....worked. As much and as often as they could. They were young during the ‘Great Depression’ and carried the remembrance of that time around with them....As Scarlet O’Hara said in ‘Gone with the wind’.....”as God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.” The men and women who experienced the ‘Depression’ were haunted by the fear of being without a job, of being unable to provide for their families. They worked, no matter the circumstance......they went to work every day, rain or shine, whether they felt like it or not, if they were ill, they worked....if they were too ill to work, they worried about it and struggled to their feet as soon as they could.....”gotta go to work” they’d say...
Well, Father’s Day has come ‘n gone and I got to get up in the mornin’ ‘n drink 30 oz of milky, chalky, yucky stuff ‘n then go to Kaiser for a CT scan.....all that before breakfast.....ah well, t’day was a nice day tho’ someone told me that my blogs were maybe just a wee bit too p’litical.....’n I spect they’re right but, heck, the only thing on the telly these past few months (seems like years) has been the Demo Primaries.....that, and re-runs of all the shows that were too dumb to watch during the reg’lar season....C’mon....that’s most of ‘em, right?
you know television has come to a sad pass when the best shows are re-runs of forty year old shows.....Andy Griffith & Dick Van Dyke, Gunsmoke & Bonanza, heck.....most of the programming from way back when..... it’s no wonder that I seem to spend so much time living in the past....I guess y' never really get away from it.....carry it around 'til y'drop!
I did like Meet the Press and who’da figgered that a young man like Tim Russert would drop dead.....well, when you’re my age, 58 is young......seems like way too young to keel over before the Presidential race is over.....maybe he just couldn’t take the shock of seeing Big Brown run dead last in the Belmont......’Course, the cynic in me sez there was a lot of money bet on Big Brown ‘n if he came up short.........wellllllllll, "that's what all the people say, you're ridin' high in April, shot down in May."

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Of terrapins 'n turtles......

 
 Back where I grew up in the hills of eastern Kentucky, they had what they called ‘Tarpons’.....which is kind of a slangy way of pronouncing ‘Terrapins’ and that is a land turtle...more or less...eastern Kentucky has lots of turtles, they got snapping turtles like you wudn’t believe.....that is, unless and until you got bit by one of ‘em...but terrapins ain’t like that....they’re big ‘n they’re slow ‘n kid’s ‘ud play with ‘em but mostly nobody bothered with them too much. I s’pose y’cud eat ‘em if you wuz hungry enuff but I never knew anybody who did....
Anyhow, I ran across this story t’other day ‘n tho’t I’d pass it on.......
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year 
  old Texas rancher, whose hand was 
caught in a gate while working 
  cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with 
the old 
  man. 
Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our 
  President. 
The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post 
  turtle'.' 

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him 
  what a 'post turtle' was. 
The old rancher said, 'When you're 
  driving down a country road and you come 
across a fence post with a 
  turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.' 

The old rancher 
  saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued 
  to 
explain. 'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't 
  belong up 
there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, 
  and you just wonder what 
kind of a dumb ass put him up there in the 
  first place?" 

I suspect, to balance things out, I should tell a funny story about McCain but my Momma always told me never poke fun at old folks ‘cuz one of these days, if I wuz lucky enuff, I might just get to be one myownself......
Justin Other Smith

Monday, June 9, 2008

Lazy Sunday.......

It's been a long, slow Sunday...kind of a lazy day, y'know what I mean....Millyrose went off to Davis for the day and I held down the fort all by lonesome......well, all by myownself 'cept for the dogs.......both of 'em were gettin' a little ripe.....not from the skunk, thank g'dness, but nonetheless.....I figgered it wuz time for a bath so I hauled out the big plastic container that I use for a tub for them, set it in the sun and filled it with water.....'n I gave both of 'em a bath.
Willieboy wuz first, he cleans up pretty easy and drie much faster than Rusty....them poodles got sum tight hair on 'em and they dry slow, even when it's a nice dry day with blue skies and reasonable temps....in Ol Fair Oaks, that's sumwhere in the mid-80's...
after the bath, I tuk 'em for a walk, one at a time, makes 'em really happy when they're the center of attention....well, heck, makes almost ever' one happy when they're the center of attention......
I don't mind only havin' one automocar most of the time cuz we go t'gether most of the time an' it ain't a problem.......on t'other hand, when Millyrose takes a mind to go off on her own, she goes and her inner clock don't work the same as mine.....ah well, good thing it's Sunday.........

Skunked.......

....in Ol Fair Oaks.....while the rest of the country has got floods and tornados and earthquakes and murder and riots and mayhem, we got skunks...pretty l'il kitty cats that y'just don't want to get too close to...like the tigers in the SF zoo, it don't pay to tease 'em.....well, they ain't gonna eat you or treat you like a rag toy to be tossed around...nah.....nuthin' like that atall.....anyhow, we've been walking the dogs in the cool of the evening, not too far, just up the street to the Catholic radio station and yes, we carry those little green plastic bags to clean up after them altho' if you'da told me when I wuz a boy that sum day I'd be picking up dog poop, I'da laffed in your face......we keep Willieboy on leash all the time he's out 'cause he's a runner and I don't like to chase after him but we gene'lly let Rusty off leash 'soon as we get to our driveway....we've had to stop that maneuver 'cause t'other eve when we got home, we found a baby skunk in our front yard....Millyrose freaked out and yanked on Willieboy so hard, I tho't she wuz gonna break his neck....I pointed out that we'd have to get closer than forty feet or so 'fore we c'd get sprayed but she didn't want'a take any chances at all, at all.....well, we managed to skirt the issue and get into the house where Milllyrose locked the door....I pointed out that skunks rarely ever bothered to knock, 'n I never knew of one that c'd open a door...

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Bad losers......

1824 wuz a hard-fought presidential primary between Andrew Jackson and John Quincy Adams, who may or may not have been an ancestral cousin of mine. The only basis I have for that p’ticklar supposition is that my Grandmother referred to his son, Richard, as Uncle Dick Adams.....all of which has little or nothin' to do with this tale.....Now, John Quincy was in a similar position to Obama. His opponent, Andrew Jackson, had won the pop'lar vote but, with the backing of Clay, Adams won the electoral vote and went on to win the Presidency. ‘Course, we only had one political party at that time and wudn’t you know it, they wuz Democrats....well, they called themselves Republican Democrats.....so the Democrats have got themselves a history of being disorganized.....
Jackson wuz a lot like Hillary in that he wuz a very bad loser.....Matter of fact, if he didn’t invent the ‘payback is a bitch’ thing, he sure wuz an enthusiatic practitoner of it and he became a spoiler....he smiled, just like Hillary, I imagine, 'n prob'ly gave a speech about what an honor it wuz just to have been in the runnin' agin a man like John Quincy, and then he spent the next four years sabotaging everything that John Quincy tried to do...so it ain’t no surprise or, at least, it oughtn’t t’be that the Jackson faction gave birth to the modern Democrat party.....and on a side note, the Republican Democrats became the Republicans.....
Ain’t history just too blame fascinatin’ for words........

Friday, June 6, 2008

Name that tune......

So.....c’n you believe the primaries are over?........Neither c’n I.....they’ve been such a large part of our lives for such a long time.....OK, now that’s irony......it’s kind’a heavy handed and not very good but, t’is irony.......
Will Rogers sed, “I’m not a member of any organized political party. I’m a Democrat.”.....I can’t see that he’d have much reason to change that statement t’day..... Many of the pundits who make their living trashing and rehashing.....or hashing and retrashing, take y’r choice....
anyway, a lot of ‘em are saying the same thing, to wit: Their candidate can’t win and their party can’t lose, but the Republican candidate c’n win but the party can’t!
Well, heck! That’s been the case for the last eight years.....first, they trotted out Al ‘Stoneface’ Gore and they’re still whining about George ‘stealing’ the election in Florida.....then, they followed up with John Kerry..... that wuz sort’a like putting a preppie cheerleader in the ring with Michael ‘bite your ear off’ Tyson...... the ubiquitous ‘they’ say that a definition of insanity is that if you keep repeating the same mistakes, at some point, you’ll get a different result.....or sumthin’ like that...
Now Obama seems like a real nice fella.....but, nice guys get their ass kicked when they get in a brawl with hard-ass streetfighters.....and no matter how we got there, ‘n you c’n blame whoever y’ want....the fact of the matter is that we’re in a brawl with certifiable, down ‘n dirty, gouge y’r eyes out, hardass streetfighters....AND we can’t afford to lose.....
Obama might have been David to Hillary’s Goliath and Lord knows that Americans luv to see the little guy win..
the old maxim, the race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet is as true as ever.....
And as Barretta sed, “That’s the name of that tune.”

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

keeps on tickin'.....

Y’know......I watched Hillary’s speech tonite.....all this endless politicking has just about turned my brain to mush.....getting so I just about have to have a political fix ever’ nite or I ain’t comfortable.....Everybody thinks she’s been whupped proper but the lady keeps getting up......she c’n damn sure take a punch and y’gotta admire her for that.....it don’t matter whether you love her or hate her, y’gotta admit, as Sinatra would’a sed, “She’s one tuff broad!” I myself don’t like the Clintons, either one of ‘em, tho’ in my opinion, Bill seems like he'd be a good guy to hang with.....y'know, once in a while.....I imagine he’s got a lot of good bar stories...prob'ly knows a lotta dirty jokes.....
Not so much with Hillary tho'....she don’t really look like the kind of woman you’d want’a hang in a bar with, I don’t care how many brews she slugged back in her run for the Presidency.....I can’t imagine being able to out-fumble either one of ‘em when the bill comes due tho’.... I can’t see them as the kind of people that pick up a lot of tabs......
I wouldn’t want’a hang out with Obama either.....he’s got a ‘lean ‘n hungry’ look that tells me you shouldn’t ought’a turn your back on him.......one of them ‘et tu, Brute’ guys...
Now McCain, on the other hand.....even tho’ he’s an Admirals son and in spite of his ivy league schooling, well, he was a fighter pilot and I gotta tell ya, from my experience, fighter pilots c’n be a lot of fun..... but ya gotta know when to duck......

Monday, June 2, 2008

Havanese, if y'please........

Monday nite musing over milk 'n crackers.....
So now we got Willie.....or he’s got us, which is much the same...Willie’s a Havanese, if y’please...or, if y’don’t, it’s all the same to us.....after all, we’re not altogether sure he’s a Havanese.....he c’d be most anything all jumbled t’gether ‘n just lookin’ like a Havanese....He c’d be Shih Tzu....or Lhasa Apso or sum sort’a combination of those dogs.....or he c’d be just plain mutt.....whatever he is, or wuz.....he’s just plain Willie now......he’s a lovable l’il fella, stands up and begs, craves lots of attention....makes Rusty jealous.....Rusty is 22 lbs, Willie is smaller.....no matter, Rusty ain’t about to share me with another dog...it’s okay if Willie goes to sit with Millyrose but Rusty’s got dibs on my lap......
S’funny how dogs c’m ‘n go in your life.....Trudy came along after Maxwell died.....she didn’t really take his place but she helped fill the void.....before Rusty, there wuz Buddy Lee.....he wuz what they call a ‘teacup’ poodle....weighed 5 lbs and just rocketed all ‘round the house.....loved Millyrose, he did, and nipped everyone else....could’a called him a ‘pocket protector’.....anyway, after two months, we found his owner and had to give him up.....Millyrose still misses him....she told her friends all about him is how we ended up with Rusty......Rusty is a miniature poodle....same color as Buddy Lee but larger.... His former owner was a lady and Rusty might’ve taken to Millyrose except for Trudy...Trudy was jealous so poor old Rusty had to settle for me.....dunno why we have to be a two-dog family but that’s the way life seems to go out here in the Golden West......