From Your Valentine.....

“I claim there ain’t
Another Saint
As great as Valentine.”
Ogden Nash

Once upon a time in the long, long ago.....(Y’know it’s a story when it begins thusly...) There was a young man named Valentine.....wasn’t an unusual name at the time...
‘n he grew up ‘n became a priest.....(Catholicism was very big in the western world at that time so he became a Catholic priest)....
Now at this time, the big boss in Rome was a guy named Claudius ‘n he was among other things, a pagan....he also believed that married guys made poor soldiers ‘n he needed really good soldiers ‘cuz people disagreeing with him made him sulky.....so after pouting over his troubles for awhile, he made a decree (‘n when the Emperor decreed....well, it was serious stuff) anyways, Ol Claudius decreed that none of his soldiers should get married....
‘Course, some of his soldiers were just born troublemakers (or they cudn’t get laid w/out a wedding band) so they sneaked around to find a priest that ‘ud marry them....’n they found Valentine!
Showing the courage of his convictions he performed a bunch of secret marriages which got him in big trouble with Claudius who didn’t happen to be real big on Christian priests at that time anyway ‘n he threw Valentine in jail ‘n eventually stoned him ‘n cut off his head becuz at the time capital punishment was a bit on the brutal side.....
As the tale goes, ‘n ancient tales do tend to run on so I’m gonna edit quite a lot here....Valentine fell in love with the jailers daughter ‘n wrote her a goodbye letter professing his love, etcetera, ‘n signed it.....(c’mon, you knew this part).....From your Valentine.