Don't do it!
“Pop a top again.....”
I just gotta say it...don’t want t’be a hypocrite about it, a cold beer tastes pretty good sometimes....Once upon a time, a long, long time ago (a very long, long time ago) a cold beer made for a relatively satisfying breakfast.... but, that was once upon a time, etcetera ‘n such....as I grew older ‘n wiser (‘n fatter) I switched to coffee ‘n cigarettes ‘n the SF Chronicle ‘n such, but then (sighhh) I grew older ‘n wiser (‘n even fatter) ‘n I gave up the cigarettes ‘n the Chronicle (wot the hell, Caen, McCabe ‘n even Delaplane were gone)....Life is a brief moment ‘n the immortality of youth is even briefer....As I grew older ‘n fatter ‘n just wise enuff to know how awfully dumb we mortals c’n be, I refused to give up my coffee.. I argued with the dieticians over coffee ‘n butter ‘n chock’lit-covered p-nutz, (okay, I might’a got the chock’lit-covered p-nuts a little wrong) but not the coffee ‘n butter.....it’s the quantities that’ll do you in, not the substance itself.....Back in the day, I used to think that anything worth doing was worth doing to excess but I was wrong...It’s the excesses that are dangerous....too many cigarettes, too much booze, too much butter or coffee or chocolate cake or spaghetti ‘n meatballs...it don’t matter....too much of a ‘good’ thing turns it into a bad thing.....same with religion ‘n politics.....if you get unbalanced with durn near anything, you’re probably gonna take a fall ‘n the older you get, the more falling hurts....remember when you were a kid ‘n your dad urged you to try harder, climb higher ‘n your mom wrung her hands ‘n said, “Don’t fall. Don’t fall.”....Well, your mom knew whereof she spoke.......
So my recipe for a long (comparatively speaking) life is to avoid falling down....
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Neither here nor there......
but somewhere, I'm almost sure....
Random tho’ts in idle moments ‘n idle tho’ts in random moments......sometimes it’s really hard to tell the difference.....sort’a like the weather in a transition season....of course, all seasons are transition seasons...
time ‘n tide wait for no man....seasons come ‘n go ‘n mankind....well, humankind as a nod to womanhood, really has nothing to say about it. We just think we do.....
As humans, we tend to think a lot, mostly about ourselves....when we think about the world around us, it’s always how it relates to us....we’re a very narcissistic lot, we humans....the world (our world, the only one we have) revolves around us....Our reality is all that we have ‘n we tend to question that in many ‘n sundry ways....How did we get here? Where did we come from? What is the purpose of life? Is there a God? We are cast in the image of God, they tell us.....the ‘they’ being those who have gone before...or did we invent God? Is God cast in our image? And if there is no God, why isn’t there? There ought’a be a God!
We’ve been talking to God for a long time, we humans, in our conceit. All the billions of people that came before the billions that are here now talked to God. And all the billions that are to come will talk to God. Even the atheists among us that deny the very existence of God spend an inordinate amount of time and effort in that denial.
Agnostics fret over the possibility that there is no God. Or maybe, there is. It is an age-old conundrum, an unprovable riddle that keeps us awake at night.....well, something keeps us awake at night and pondering deep thoughts is more socially acceptable than computer Solitaire.....or for that matter, pondering what may or may not be socially acceptable.
I once had a teacher whose name I have long since forgot though I can picture him in my mind. The picture I have in my mind may or may not be accurate...memories get twisted over the years, bent by innumerable stories, movies and television shows. I recall a tall, angular, narrow-shouldered, dark visaged man in his early 30’s. A man of effete mannerisms who fairly dripped disdain as he lectured what he prbably saw as a parade of intellectually inferior Neanderthalians. We viewed each other from diametrically opposed positions thus quite possibly clouding each others judgments, although it’s not only possible but highly probable that I’m the only one who misjudged the whole experience.
Age is a wondrous thing, allowing as it does, the opportunity to look back over your life and guage the depth of your early ignorance by comparing it to the infinite vastness of a horizonless ocean of ignorance in which we swim.
So my idle ‘n random tho’ts have meandered on for almost 500 words, give or take, ‘n if you’ve read all this, you really need to get a grip....”Say goodnight, Gracie”
Random tho’ts in idle moments ‘n idle tho’ts in random moments......sometimes it’s really hard to tell the difference.....sort’a like the weather in a transition season....of course, all seasons are transition seasons...
time ‘n tide wait for no man....seasons come ‘n go ‘n mankind....well, humankind as a nod to womanhood, really has nothing to say about it. We just think we do.....
As humans, we tend to think a lot, mostly about ourselves....when we think about the world around us, it’s always how it relates to us....we’re a very narcissistic lot, we humans....the world (our world, the only one we have) revolves around us....Our reality is all that we have ‘n we tend to question that in many ‘n sundry ways....How did we get here? Where did we come from? What is the purpose of life? Is there a God? We are cast in the image of God, they tell us.....the ‘they’ being those who have gone before...or did we invent God? Is God cast in our image? And if there is no God, why isn’t there? There ought’a be a God!
We’ve been talking to God for a long time, we humans, in our conceit. All the billions of people that came before the billions that are here now talked to God. And all the billions that are to come will talk to God. Even the atheists among us that deny the very existence of God spend an inordinate amount of time and effort in that denial.
Agnostics fret over the possibility that there is no God. Or maybe, there is. It is an age-old conundrum, an unprovable riddle that keeps us awake at night.....well, something keeps us awake at night and pondering deep thoughts is more socially acceptable than computer Solitaire.....or for that matter, pondering what may or may not be socially acceptable.
I once had a teacher whose name I have long since forgot though I can picture him in my mind. The picture I have in my mind may or may not be accurate...memories get twisted over the years, bent by innumerable stories, movies and television shows. I recall a tall, angular, narrow-shouldered, dark visaged man in his early 30’s. A man of effete mannerisms who fairly dripped disdain as he lectured what he prbably saw as a parade of intellectually inferior Neanderthalians. We viewed each other from diametrically opposed positions thus quite possibly clouding each others judgments, although it’s not only possible but highly probable that I’m the only one who misjudged the whole experience.
Age is a wondrous thing, allowing as it does, the opportunity to look back over your life and guage the depth of your early ignorance by comparing it to the infinite vastness of a horizonless ocean of ignorance in which we swim.
So my idle ‘n random tho’ts have meandered on for almost 500 words, give or take, ‘n if you’ve read all this, you really need to get a grip....”Say goodnight, Gracie”
Monday, March 29, 2010
In the meantime.....
Monday, Monday.....
Out walking them dogs under a low’ring sky...I think, ah hell, I know there’s a storm brewing...
it’s grey ‘n overcast with windy gusts keeping the chickens unsettled....Willie tried to chase two big ol’ roosters but they just ignored him...
He barked ‘n growled ‘n made like he was gonna lunge at them but they just ignored him...I wouldn’t call him heartbroken but he didn’t cheer up until I found another chicken that ran from him...fortunately, it don’t take a lot to amuse him....unfortunately, what it usually takes is to get my attention so that he can go chase something....Meanwhile Rusty appears t’be pretty much bemused by the ‘hull thang...Once in a while, Rusty’ll bark ‘n run a few feet at something that has turned Willie into a whirling dervish, but then he stops ‘n looks at me as if to shake his head ‘n say, “will wonders never cease?”.....
Ah well, in the meantime, t’is a wondrous world we inhabit ..... ‘n all too often, we forget that for all our great plans ‘n aspirations, all we really have is ‘in the meantime’....
Out walking them dogs under a low’ring sky...I think, ah hell, I know there’s a storm brewing...
it’s grey ‘n overcast with windy gusts keeping the chickens unsettled....Willie tried to chase two big ol’ roosters but they just ignored him...
He barked ‘n growled ‘n made like he was gonna lunge at them but they just ignored him...I wouldn’t call him heartbroken but he didn’t cheer up until I found another chicken that ran from him...fortunately, it don’t take a lot to amuse him....unfortunately, what it usually takes is to get my attention so that he can go chase something....Meanwhile Rusty appears t’be pretty much bemused by the ‘hull thang...Once in a while, Rusty’ll bark ‘n run a few feet at something that has turned Willie into a whirling dervish, but then he stops ‘n looks at me as if to shake his head ‘n say, “will wonders never cease?”.....
Ah well, in the meantime, t’is a wondrous world we inhabit ..... ‘n all too often, we forget that for all our great plans ‘n aspirations, all we really have is ‘in the meantime’....
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Chopping weeds on a Sunday morn.....
Sunday.....a warm, quiet, almost lazy Spring day with the constant buzz of the traffic on Sunrise Boulevard reminding me of the camp on the Snake River in Wyoming in June of '91.....the Spring runoff then reminded Millyrose 'n me of the traffic on Sunrise Boulevard minus of course, the sirens, the squeal of brakes 'n the sound of occasional crashes as the never-ending Great California Road Race roars on 'n on 'n on....
Errol Flynn died at age 50 after a young life spent in the pursuit of excess....there is nothing inherently wrong with excess, unless of course, it's done to excess as Flynn proved by dying at an age that only children think is old...I remember those golden days when if a thing was worth doing, it was worth doing excessively...that was when hangovers faded with the golden glow of soft afternoons fading into magnificent evenings....back before the hacking cough of too many cigarettes, the love handles 'n soft bellies of too much beer. Back when you could eat anything 'n never gain a pound....Ah, Eden....'n then that durn snake showed up 'n whispered of the joys t'be found outside the garden of youth....
Willie loves to chase anything that moves be it a live chicken or a dead leaf...Rusty is older 'n he only occasionally acts like he might want to chase something..that is, until he remembers 'n then he stops 'n looks around 'n decides that he'd rather walk...either that or maybe just lie in the sun.....Ah well, it's Sunday!
Errol Flynn died at age 50 after a young life spent in the pursuit of excess....there is nothing inherently wrong with excess, unless of course, it's done to excess as Flynn proved by dying at an age that only children think is old...I remember those golden days when if a thing was worth doing, it was worth doing excessively...that was when hangovers faded with the golden glow of soft afternoons fading into magnificent evenings....back before the hacking cough of too many cigarettes, the love handles 'n soft bellies of too much beer. Back when you could eat anything 'n never gain a pound....Ah, Eden....'n then that durn snake showed up 'n whispered of the joys t'be found outside the garden of youth....
Willie loves to chase anything that moves be it a live chicken or a dead leaf...Rusty is older 'n he only occasionally acts like he might want to chase something..that is, until he remembers 'n then he stops 'n looks around 'n decides that he'd rather walk...either that or maybe just lie in the sun.....Ah well, it's Sunday!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Hey, it’s whack-a-weed Sat’iday...
let us all go outside ‘n play....
I used to hate mowing the lawn when I was a boy. There was no such thing as a power mower, at least back in Beattyville, Ky...there was just a heavy old push mower ‘n tuff grass that grew inches overnite ‘n really needed t’be cut ‘bout twice a week...’specially in the Springtime when it rained once or twice a day ‘n you c’d see the grass grow inbetween....it wasn’t so bad later in the summer when it would often go two or three weeks without a rain ‘n people would scratch their heads over the drought ‘n the fact that their gardens were dying ‘n that they’d never seen such a dry summer....
My dad got a power mower, hmmm lemme see, I think it was after I left home which meant that my brothers got to struggle with it...it was a big, heavy thing that was supposed to be self-propelled but it still took a lot of muscle to handle it....it was sold for pennies on the dollar when mom ‘n dad moved to northern LaLa Land where the sun shone from mid-February to mid-November....fortunately, science by that time had developed the lite-weight rotary mower than any 90 lb weakling could handle....for a little more money, you c’d buy a self-propelled lite-weight rotary mower that you c’d handle with your fingertips...’Course, for a little more money, you c’d hire a ‘lawn service’ that would cut your grass, edge the sidewalk ‘n take the clipping away t’be dumped in someone else’s landfill...
Nowadays, what with the water shortage ‘n all, lawns are disappearing here in northern LaLa Land....not down south, of course....El Lay is a desert but they have more water than they know what t’do with so they run it down the streets...they tell me that it just runs into the ocean ‘n gets recycled so that makes it alright but y’gotta remember that SoCal is a world apart from ev’rywhere else....I like t’make fun of SoCal ‘n hate t’go there, mainly ‘cause of the traffic...
there’s just too many people ‘n too many cars but to be truthful, there’s a reason so many people gravitate there....’n there’s a reason people there live with the earthquakes, wildfires, mudslides, etcetera...I haven’t ever figured out exactly what that reason is but, I’m sure there is one....sort’a like God, y’know...if there wasn’t one, people ‘ud just have to invent one.....
And that’ enuff ‘cause the yard is waiting ‘n the
I used to hate mowing the lawn when I was a boy. There was no such thing as a power mower, at least back in Beattyville, Ky...there was just a heavy old push mower ‘n tuff grass that grew inches overnite ‘n really needed t’be cut ‘bout twice a week...’specially in the Springtime when it rained once or twice a day ‘n you c’d see the grass grow inbetween....it wasn’t so bad later in the summer when it would often go two or three weeks without a rain ‘n people would scratch their heads over the drought ‘n the fact that their gardens were dying ‘n that they’d never seen such a dry summer....
My dad got a power mower, hmmm lemme see, I think it was after I left home which meant that my brothers got to struggle with it...it was a big, heavy thing that was supposed to be self-propelled but it still took a lot of muscle to handle it....it was sold for pennies on the dollar when mom ‘n dad moved to northern LaLa Land where the sun shone from mid-February to mid-November....fortunately, science by that time had developed the lite-weight rotary mower than any 90 lb weakling could handle....for a little more money, you c’d buy a self-propelled lite-weight rotary mower that you c’d handle with your fingertips...’Course, for a little more money, you c’d hire a ‘lawn service’ that would cut your grass, edge the sidewalk ‘n take the clipping away t’be dumped in someone else’s landfill...
Nowadays, what with the water shortage ‘n all, lawns are disappearing here in northern LaLa Land....not down south, of course....El Lay is a desert but they have more water than they know what t’do with so they run it down the streets...they tell me that it just runs into the ocean ‘n gets recycled so that makes it alright but y’gotta remember that SoCal is a world apart from ev’rywhere else....I like t’make fun of SoCal ‘n hate t’go there, mainly ‘cause of the traffic...
there’s just too many people ‘n too many cars but to be truthful, there’s a reason so many people gravitate there....’n there’s a reason people there live with the earthquakes, wildfires, mudslides, etcetera...I haven’t ever figured out exactly what that reason is but, I’m sure there is one....sort’a like God, y’know...if there wasn’t one, people ‘ud just have to invent one.....
And that’ enuff ‘cause the yard is waiting ‘n the
Friday, March 26, 2010
Hope 'n change......
This is a sad and embarrasing period in American history right up there with the internment of Japanese American citizens during WWII.
In my opinion, the Obama presidency is an unmitigated disaster although I believe that Obama himself might think he is a success. His performance as President has been less successful than the governorship of Arnold Schwartzenegger and definitely without the saving grace of Arnold. The Obama presidency is more pathetic than that of Jimmy Carter whom many think was the worst President in our history.
I will not, cannot blame those people who voted for Obama for believing in his message of ‘hope and change’ since the man seems to be a master of deceit and obsfucation; he is, after all is said and done, an accomplished Chicago politician.
I do however blame those who still support Obama and his policies. They should hang their heads in shame and embarrasment.
As for me, I did not vote for Obama but I felt that it was a watershed moment in American history that we could at long last put an end to the racial divide that has plagued this country for so long. I thought that George Bush was a decent man caught in a predicament not of his own making but that his leadership had helped to bring about a division in this country not seen since Abraham Lincoln.
I felt that Barack Obama would close that gap and help to bring a healing that would bridge that divide.
It seems that I was wrong as the country is more divided than ever. Still, Obama may be the catalyst that tears off the scab of those old wounds and exposes them to the sunlight of reason and in that regard, perhaps his presidency will be a pivotal point.
The only constant in life is change and hope springs eternal.
In my opinion, the Obama presidency is an unmitigated disaster although I believe that Obama himself might think he is a success. His performance as President has been less successful than the governorship of Arnold Schwartzenegger and definitely without the saving grace of Arnold. The Obama presidency is more pathetic than that of Jimmy Carter whom many think was the worst President in our history.
I will not, cannot blame those people who voted for Obama for believing in his message of ‘hope and change’ since the man seems to be a master of deceit and obsfucation; he is, after all is said and done, an accomplished Chicago politician.
I do however blame those who still support Obama and his policies. They should hang their heads in shame and embarrasment.
As for me, I did not vote for Obama but I felt that it was a watershed moment in American history that we could at long last put an end to the racial divide that has plagued this country for so long. I thought that George Bush was a decent man caught in a predicament not of his own making but that his leadership had helped to bring about a division in this country not seen since Abraham Lincoln.
I felt that Barack Obama would close that gap and help to bring a healing that would bridge that divide.
It seems that I was wrong as the country is more divided than ever. Still, Obama may be the catalyst that tears off the scab of those old wounds and exposes them to the sunlight of reason and in that regard, perhaps his presidency will be a pivotal point.
The only constant in life is change and hope springs eternal.
A blue sky morning..
....’n it’s Friday. It rained last nite, well, a little bit of rain, just enuff to put a sparkle on things green...kind’a reminds me of Kentucky when I was a boy ‘n when you’d go out early in the morning, the dewdrops would sparkle like jewels...the hillside was covered with honeysuckle and, quoting tired old Tennyson, “and what is so rare as a day in June, for then, if ever, God made perfect days.”....
‘Course, if you accept the premise that there is a God and He is perfect, then you should also accept the premise that He wouldn’t make imperfect days....or imperfect people, for that matter, and we all know that the world is chock full of imperfect people....if we follow that p’ticklar theorem, does it follow that we have an imperfect God or maybe, He forbid, no God at all...well, that’s a popular belief t’day, for some reason, God knows why....we seem to have become an extremely secular society....at least, in the good ol US of A ‘n in western Europe ‘n that’s the only place that matters, ain’t it? Or maybe not....
None of it really matters, y’know...not on a perfect day like t’day....cuz what is so rare as a blue-sky Friday in Spring, etcetera, etcetera....
Anyways, it’s a beautiful day ‘n I might just be the tiniest bit over-coffee’d.....
‘Course, if you accept the premise that there is a God and He is perfect, then you should also accept the premise that He wouldn’t make imperfect days....or imperfect people, for that matter, and we all know that the world is chock full of imperfect people....if we follow that p’ticklar theorem, does it follow that we have an imperfect God or maybe, He forbid, no God at all...well, that’s a popular belief t’day, for some reason, God knows why....we seem to have become an extremely secular society....at least, in the good ol US of A ‘n in western Europe ‘n that’s the only place that matters, ain’t it? Or maybe not....
None of it really matters, y’know...not on a perfect day like t’day....cuz what is so rare as a blue-sky Friday in Spring, etcetera, etcetera....
Anyways, it’s a beautiful day ‘n I might just be the tiniest bit over-coffee’d.....
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Accepted definitions.....
as per request.....
communism:
a political theory derived from Karl Marx, advocating class war and leading to a society in which all property is publicly owned and each person works and is paid according to their abilities and needs. See also Marxism .
One for all and all for the State.....
democracy:
a system of government by the whole population or all the eligible members of a state, typically through elected representatives
capitalism and democracy are ascendant in the third world.
• a state governed in such a way : a multiparty democracy.
• control of an organization or group by the majority of its members : the intended extension of industrial democracy.
• the practice or principles of social equality : demands for greater democracy.
Majority rules and if you’re a minority, tough shit!
republic:
a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch.
Majority nominally rules but there’s always another vote!
Though a constitutional republic is not a pure democracy it necessarily has some democratic elements, such as ability of the people to elect a president (in the U.S. the majority of the population is checked here too, as popular vote of the people does not necessarily decide the winner). Nations where the head of state is not elected, as in a monarchy, as not elected but has a parliament with elected representatives that govern according to constitutional law protecting individual rights are called constitutional democratic monarchy). Both are considered liberal democracies because they protect individual liberty from majority and minority forces, while retaining some democratic elements.
communism:
a political theory derived from Karl Marx, advocating class war and leading to a society in which all property is publicly owned and each person works and is paid according to their abilities and needs. See also Marxism .
One for all and all for the State.....
democracy:
a system of government by the whole population or all the eligible members of a state, typically through elected representatives
capitalism and democracy are ascendant in the third world.
• a state governed in such a way : a multiparty democracy.
• control of an organization or group by the majority of its members : the intended extension of industrial democracy.
• the practice or principles of social equality : demands for greater democracy.
Majority rules and if you’re a minority, tough shit!
republic:
a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch.
Majority nominally rules but there’s always another vote!
Though a constitutional republic is not a pure democracy it necessarily has some democratic elements, such as ability of the people to elect a president (in the U.S. the majority of the population is checked here too, as popular vote of the people does not necessarily decide the winner). Nations where the head of state is not elected, as in a monarchy, as not elected but has a parliament with elected representatives that govern according to constitutional law protecting individual rights are called constitutional democratic monarchy). Both are considered liberal democracies because they protect individual liberty from majority and minority forces, while retaining some democratic elements.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Idle tho'ts..
If we have a national identification card, I was just thinking that we could turn over all our payrolls to the federal government and in turn, they could give each of us however much they think we deserve and we could then eliminate the Internal Revenue Service.....or is that too progressive?
I remember, as a young man, standing in line to collect my monthly stipend from the payroll clerk. Standing behind the clerk was an armed guard. A few months later, I was the armed guard and it was then I found out that the powers that be didn’t allow the armed guards to have loaded guns. But, we were quite seriously advised that we were to tell no one that our guns were empty.
Once, as a boy, I was chosen to be a Magicians assistant in a performance at my grade school. I was taken aside beforehand and told exactly how to behave. The Magician ‘hypnotized’ me and the entire class, including the teacher, believed that I was indeed hypnotized. I told my friends that it had all been make-believe but they didn’t believe me. I’ve never quite understood why so many people are so quick to believe an obvious lie and so loath to believe the truth. I’ve heard it said that, “in Hollywood, if you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.”
That
gambit never seemed to work for me. The more sincere I was, the less I was believed. I’ve been know to make up stories, what Millyrose calls ‘Kentucky Windies’ and if they are outrageous enough, everyone seems to take them as gospel truth. Just human nature, I suppose.
I remember, as a young man, standing in line to collect my monthly stipend from the payroll clerk. Standing behind the clerk was an armed guard. A few months later, I was the armed guard and it was then I found out that the powers that be didn’t allow the armed guards to have loaded guns. But, we were quite seriously advised that we were to tell no one that our guns were empty.
Once, as a boy, I was chosen to be a Magicians assistant in a performance at my grade school. I was taken aside beforehand and told exactly how to behave. The Magician ‘hypnotized’ me and the entire class, including the teacher, believed that I was indeed hypnotized. I told my friends that it had all been make-believe but they didn’t believe me. I’ve never quite understood why so many people are so quick to believe an obvious lie and so loath to believe the truth. I’ve heard it said that, “in Hollywood, if you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.”
That
gambit never seemed to work for me. The more sincere I was, the less I was believed. I’ve been know to make up stories, what Millyrose calls ‘Kentucky Windies’ and if they are outrageous enough, everyone seems to take them as gospel truth. Just human nature, I suppose.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Another Interlude......
(also not written by me, sort of a Spring break kind'a thing)
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two theories to arguing with women.. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving .
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
20 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
American by birth - Southern by the Grace of God.
Anchors Aweigh - Splice the Mainbrace - Go Navy
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two theories to arguing with women.. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving .
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
20 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
American by birth - Southern by the Grace of God.
Anchors Aweigh - Splice the Mainbrace - Go Navy
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Interlude.....
(don’t know who wrote this, just know t’weren’t me)
In the beginning was the Plan.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was on the face of the Workers.
And they spoke among themselves, saying "it is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong... such that none can abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors then went unto the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him, "This new Plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company, with powerful effects."
And the President looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
This is how Shit Happens.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Oh, that soggy plain.....
It’s raining! Again! Boring, I know, but there ain’t a darn thing I c’n do about it....that’s an old Mark Twain/Will Rogers line, y’know.....”Ev’ryone talks about the weather but no one does anything about it.”........
I’d rather be sleeping but the chickens are crowing ‘n nature calls....I got up to ‘wash m’face’ (euphemistically speaking)...when I got back t’bed, Willie’d taken my place...(paraphrasing Paul Simon now)...anyways I’m up, took the dogs out while they pondered the rain ‘ n I stood on the edge of the porch, not quite cold enuff to actually shiver but chilly, just t’same...it’s a steady, depressing, just a little more than a drizzle, cold ‘n gloomy rain ‘n I’d go back t’bed if I tho’t it’d do any good....Millyrose, at least, has the good sense to go on sleeping.....ah well, it’s a grand morning for coffee....think I’ll have a cup or three ‘n peruse the morning Bee...
The ‘doom ‘n gloom’ bunch are at it again...on the morning s’nooze, all the chatter is about the earthquake fault off the west coast ‘n how California, Oregon ‘n Washington States are all gonna fall off into the ocean because (gasp) THE END IS COMING!.....what we really need is for the snooze-casters to dress in sheets ‘n wave a hand-lettered sign stating that the sky is falling (but then, when is it not falling)...Armageddon has been imminent since I was a barefoot boy in that faraway land of long, long ago....ah well, interesting times......
Just a passing tho’t on the political front ‘n the Obama threat to mankind.....Remember Ozmandias ‘n be assured that ‘this too, shall pass.’
I’d rather be sleeping but the chickens are crowing ‘n nature calls....I got up to ‘wash m’face’ (euphemistically speaking)...when I got back t’bed, Willie’d taken my place...(paraphrasing Paul Simon now)...anyways I’m up, took the dogs out while they pondered the rain ‘ n I stood on the edge of the porch, not quite cold enuff to actually shiver but chilly, just t’same...it’s a steady, depressing, just a little more than a drizzle, cold ‘n gloomy rain ‘n I’d go back t’bed if I tho’t it’d do any good....Millyrose, at least, has the good sense to go on sleeping.....ah well, it’s a grand morning for coffee....think I’ll have a cup or three ‘n peruse the morning Bee...
The ‘doom ‘n gloom’ bunch are at it again...on the morning s’nooze, all the chatter is about the earthquake fault off the west coast ‘n how California, Oregon ‘n Washington States are all gonna fall off into the ocean because (gasp) THE END IS COMING!.....what we really need is for the snooze-casters to dress in sheets ‘n wave a hand-lettered sign stating that the sky is falling (but then, when is it not falling)...Armageddon has been imminent since I was a barefoot boy in that faraway land of long, long ago....ah well, interesting times......
Just a passing tho’t on the political front ‘n the Obama threat to mankind.....Remember Ozmandias ‘n be assured that ‘this too, shall pass.’
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