T'was brillig in Olde Faire Oakes....

LOST IN THE MIMSEY BOROGOVES...

The story begins in the waning days of 2014 when Dish Network decided, in what was later suspected to be a partisan move, to pull the plug (yank the chain) on one of their more popular offerings; Fox Network News and their affiliates. 

Prior, Dish Network had skirmished with Turner Broadcasting and CBS, settling in each instance in a few days.  Then had come the contretemps with Fox.  Dish claimed that Fox had pulled their own plug while Fox claimed the opposite.  At this time, there was no indication that partisan politics had any part in this conflict.

As tens of thousands of Dish customers changed providers, it became apparent that there was (stealing a phrase from Sherlock) more here than met the eye, to wit; the owner of Dish Network, a rabidly partisan Democrat and supporter of liberal issues had aligned himself with George Soros and the Democratic National Party in an all-out effort to disenfranchise Fox News.  Expensive, but I guess when you are in possession of a big chunk of the Earth’s money, the Ozmandias Syndrome comes into play...

You can believe this or not, time will tell. As for me, I had already made the decision to leave Dish for another provider.  The political issue just made it easier.

Which brings us to the 'Ongoing Saga of Smith versus AT&T.'  I did not and do not want to engage in a conflict with AT&T.  It’s been my lifelong experience that all the King’s horses ’n all the King’s men never are successful at putting Humpty-Dumpty together again.   

Still, having studied the alternatives, I decided that my best bet for a new provider would be AT&T U-verse.  

There’s a lot of advertising, offering a multitude of incentives, one of which was a new 32” Samsung television.  I have a old Sony as a second television and would be delighted to have a free replacement.

So, I looked online.  ‘Way too confusing for an old person.  I took the second, most obvious tack.  I called AT&T on an AT&T phone and placed my request for AT&T service.  I dealt with a most agreeable chap (Every AT&T rep has been super agreeable) and we came to a genial agreement that they would come to my house and install AT&T U-verse the following week.  

They followed that up with two e-mails confirming the arrangement.  The only problem was that they had somehow got my address wrong, indicating that they would be at my location in Chicago, Illinois on the following Tuesday.  

I thought I should correct this error as soon as possible so I called AT&T.  Got a different, though thoroughly engaging and polite young man who promised to fix the problem but in so doing, informed me that U-verse was not currently available on my street.  I pointed out that he might be mistaken in that for I have neighbored with AT&T since 1976 and surely the bosses and staff in the building next door must have fiber optics.  He agreed, but said he did not have that information and would I accept Direct TV instead.

I reluctantly said I would but I didn’t really like Direct TV, having dropped their service because of their service.  He explained that AT&T now owns Direct TV and their service would be AT&T service.  

So, it was a go.

Except, we didn’t. Go, that is.  AT&T proved to be a no-show at their first appointment.  I made a second appointment but they failed to show for that one also.  However, I am nothing if not determined.  When I chart a course of action, I do my best to stay the course.

Well, two weeks in, Bob from AT&T showed up….kept an appointment…BUT while he seemed familiar with U-verse, he couldn’t explain why it was not available on Crestline Avenue even tho’ my next door neighbor is AT&T and you just gotta know that inside that building, all their computers and televisions are hooked up to that famous fiber optic that for some inexplicable reason is not available to their next door neighbor….

NEVERTHELESS, I let Bob (nice guy, btw, as all the AT&T reps have been) install U-verse on my phone (?) and internet…took less than a minute…after more conversation, etcetera, Bob informed me that Direct TV would be around the following morning to install their dish and all would be hunky-dory….

‘Cept that wudn’t t’be the case…the guy from Direct TV showed up alright, took one look at the pitch of my roof and pronounced that “The trees are in the way.”  told me that a supervisor would be around in a minimum of 72 hours and left….

It’s been 72 hours, haven’t seen a supervisor, sort’a like that purple cow of yore, don’t expect to see one…don’t think I c’n hack dealing with Direct TV again….P’haps I’ll wait on AT&T until they get their durn fiber optic on my street ’n give ‘em another try at some point in the future…..

"Build it and they will come".....starring Jerry Brown 'n the Legislators

Mose’s supposes….

It just occurred t'me that I've been positioning my selfies on the Left of Center side....

Jerry ‘Govenor Moonbeam’ Brown has a dream…or sumthing, not sure what it is but it is either going down in hist’ry as the man who brought high-speed rail to California or p’haps as the man who envisioned two (count’em) big holes in the Delta that will be  filled with the money of California taxpayers…

Now, high-speed rail, of course, is popular as all get-out in Japan and Europe, well, parts of Europe anyway…not so much in Germany where they build high-speed highways for luxury automobiles that only the elitist of the elite c’n afford to drive but, that’s another story…

Once upon a time, a few years ago, there wuz a fella in Alaska that dreamed of a bridge that went nowhere at all and almost brought his dream to life before reality ('n a little legislative jealousy) set in...

Now, Jerry, of course, as true Moonbeams always do, really only dreams ‘big picture’ dreams…that way, he doesn’t have t’be bothered with any of the details…like finding the money to pay for his dream..he really doesn’t have to worry much about that, however, as he more than likely won’t be around when the bill comes due…sort of like buying drinks for the house when you know you’re gonna drop dead before the house c’n tally up  the bill….

And the twin tunnels….pretty much the same scenario…Way up north in that imaginary State of Washington, in the purely mythical town of Seattle, someone had a similar dream…smaller, of course, than a California dream because, as ‘most ever’one knows, as California goes, so goes the nation…Anyhow, in Seattle, they have a machine that they were sure could drill a tunnel clear thru the Earth’s core…if they wanted to, naturally…..’Cept, it got stuck!  And it gets increasingly expensive every day that it continues t’be stuck!  And they dug a shaft, only one, mind you, not ten as they expect to do in the Delta…but the darn shaft caused surrounding buildings to get the jitters, to become slightly unstable…but, of course, that won’t happen in the Delta….because, because, of the wonderful Wizard of California, that dream state with the Moonbeam Governor….

Of corporations large 'n larger.....

Once’t upon a time in the long, long ago, there wuz a hugmongous comp’ny that sat astride the American landscape like a giant Colossus of old…this comp’ny wuz so all-powerful that the federal guv'mint wuz scair't out’a their collective wits (which as ever’one knows ain’t all that much anyhow)…

Anyway, the Feds got their heads together ’n decided that Ma Bell (as this comp’ny wuz then known) had t’be broken up into more malleable ’n manageable smaller companies….

And that’s what they did…

As you might have suspected, Ma Bell wudn’t all that crazy about the way the guv’mint treated them but there wudn’t a whole lot that could be done about it….

And so it came to pass that acros’t the width ’n breadth of these United States of American, telephone companies vied for dominance ’n the federal guv’mint rejoiced at how well their solution had worked…..

But then….’n there’s always a ‘But then…’  

It’s called the Law of Unforeseeable Consequence!

As the telephone companies sparred with each other, each seeking some advantage, technology came to the forefront ’n….Lo ’n Behold, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel ’n there wuz a come to Jesus moment ’n AT&T sort’a gathered unto themselves, under an umbrella, so to speak but not in any way that the federal guv’mint could really object…

An innaresting thing about Ma Bell ’n size…if the feds had just left the old lady alone, she’d have gotten so big that she wouldn’t have been able to figure out what in hell wuz going on in her own darn parlor….. 

Please witness at this p’tick’lar time, that giant AT&T …it is some kind’a curious company…..

Once upon a time, I had DirecTV for my cable company but the service was so bad (how bad wuzzit) Well, it wuz so bad that every time I had a problem (about every six weeks) I purely hated to call them…First, I had to hear how much it wuz gonna cost me if it wuz my problem ’n not theirs (I would point out that I paid for their insurance so that ALL THE PROBLEMS WOULD BE COVERED BY THEM)…once that wuz established, they would explain how they just couldn’t get to me for a week or ten dayz or whatever…SO, I got tired of dealing with them ’n called Dish…they were out the next day, installation wuz a breeze, a few problems the first few months, they were right there, no questions…good service…Direct offered me tons of incentives to come back but I wuz steadfast ’n stayed with Dish…until their contract dispute with Turner…irritating but over in a few days….next came their dispute with CBS…also irritating but over in a few days…THEN came their dispute with Fox….’n it’s gone on for weeks ’n I’ve explored the alternative news sources, CNN, HLN, Al Jazeera, ’n of course, ABC, CBS, ’n NBC…they’re all jokes…they don’t tell you the news ’n NBC which once upon a time had a reputation for being the best in the 'hull darn United States has become a joke…they don’t give the news, it's all about puppy dogs 'n kitty cats...they’re almost as bad as MSNBC that has negative ratings becuz even their own people watch something else…

Anyway, back to that fabled, almost monolithic company called AT&T…They have blanketed my mailbox with ads touting U-verse. They seem t’be on every channel with their ads bragging about their service 'n how U-verse is the future 'n puts ever' other comp'ny to shame….’n being old fogies, She who must be obeyed ’n m’self, still have land-line service on our house phone (we mainly use cell phones for durn near ever’thing) ’n we have AT&T internet service…shouldn’t be a big deal to switch from Dish to AT&T, wouldn’t you think…

I looked ‘em up on the ‘net…too damn confusing for anyone as old ’n irrelevant as me so I called them…they were excessively polite (which should’a been a clue) but I ended up on hold anyway…well, stuff happens even when you’re old ’n irrelevant so I would hang up after awhile ’n try later…four or five times later…’n finally got to speak with a real person…Heck! We came to an agreement right away, they’re gonna install Monday between 9 ’n 11 in the AM…price is right, service seems right…all is good, right?  Wrong!  

They send me two e-mails about the coming installation at my address in Chicago, Illinois…I call ‘em up, explain their mistake, explain tht I ackshully live in California...

They inform me first that shouldn’t be a problem, then they find out that maybe they do have a problem,  that maybe they don’t have U-verse service available in Fair Oaks…

That’s funny, say I, since some of my neighbors have U-verse…AND since the mighty AT&T advertise all over the Sacramento area that U-verse is available…Nevertheless, sez their polite ’n accommodating representative, they don’t have service available on Crestline Avenue in Fair Oaks, California, zip code 95628…I hang up!

Later in the evening, I get two more e-mails confirming the coming installation at my home in Chicago, Illinois…

I ignore the e-mails but for some perverse reason, I go online ’n find myself in a chat with another overly polite representative that is so sorry for the inconvenience but he is sure that he can fix whatever problem I may have…shortly after that pronouncement, he passes me on to another polite representative that assures me even futher…until, he finally tells me that U-verse service may be available in other areas of Fair Oaks but it is definitely not available on Crestline Avenue, etcetera, etcetera…

I’m currently awaiting to see whatever might transpire this coming Monday...

A new day, a new year.....

WAITIN’ FOR THE NEW YEAR...

I wuz thinkin’ about New Years Eve, 1953…I wuz sick!  Don’t recall exactly what I had but I wuz piled up on the sofa ’n wudn’t going anywhere that evening…Mom ’n Dad ’n my brothers all left…don’t remember where it wuz that they went but I spent that evening alone, listening to the radio…In those days before television was rampant, it wuz radio that ever’body paid attention to ’n I wuz no exception…That evening, I followed the New Year across the country (time zones, y’understand)…’n one of the radio stations I heard back then was a Sacramento station where the DJ (as they were known back then) rode with the Sac police on their rounds that New Years Eve….

Now here we are on the verge of 2015 (the Back to the Future year for those of you old enough to recall Marty ’n the Doc)…I’m not listening to the radio, almost never do these days ’n when I do, often enuff it’s Sirius Radio ’n that doesn’t seem to have any local roots at all…Nah!  We’re watching teevee ’n worst of all, CNN (cuz Dish ’n FNC can’t seem to reconcile)…anyhow, we’re watching Anderson Cooper ’n the less than all there quasi-comedienne whats’ername they drag out to do the Times Square ball-drop…you know who I’m talking about, the somewhat foul-mouthed do anything for a giggle prop for poor old Anderson…

Anyhow, out with the old, in with the new…Millyrose ’n I celebrated the dropping of the ball (12:00 est/9:00 pst) with cheese ’n crackers, potato chips ’n champagne ’n shortly thereafter, this olde, somewhat irrelevant senior citizen went off to bed to dream, perchance, of daze gone bye-bye…

Awake with the chickens…I no longer am amazed at the number of people who believe in the comic book version of roosters that only crow at sunrise…those of us in the know, know that the damn birds crow all nite long at any ’n every thing that gets their attention….

During this last depression/recession/slowdown, whatever you want to call it, people lined up for food stamps…during THE GREAT DEPRESSION of my youth, the Fair Oaks chickens would have been gone to chicken heaven in a few days….plucked ’n roasted over an open fire or, more better considering their age, a stew pot with maybe a few onions ’n potatoes…

Ah well, as usual, I digress….

My good friend, GSam Piatt ’n his good wife, Bonnie, lost a son this past week in a car wreck…I’m generally pretty good with words but they fail me at times like this…parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children ’n it’s ‘specially hard when it comes unexpected in an accident…Those people in Indonesia who lost family in that terrible airline crash  lost their family members unexpectedly also and there are no words from anyone that can ease their pain…sometimes, it’s just really hard to face a new day, a new year….