Once’t upon a time in the long, long ago, there wuz a hugmongous comp’ny that sat astride the American landscape like a giant Colossus of old…this comp’ny wuz so all-powerful that the federal guv'mint wuz scair't out’a their collective wits (which as ever’one knows ain’t all that much anyhow)…
Anyway, the Feds got their heads together ’n decided that Ma Bell (as this comp’ny wuz then known) had t’be broken up into more malleable ’n manageable smaller companies….
And that’s what they did…
As you might have suspected, Ma Bell wudn’t all that crazy about the way the guv’mint treated them but there wudn’t a whole lot that could be done about it….
And so it came to pass that acros’t the width ’n breadth of these United States of American, telephone companies vied for dominance ’n the federal guv’mint rejoiced at how well their solution had worked…..
But then….’n there’s always a ‘But then…’
It’s called the Law of Unforeseeable Consequence!
As the telephone companies sparred with each other, each seeking some advantage, technology came to the forefront ’n….Lo ’n Behold, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel ’n there wuz a come to Jesus moment ’n AT&T sort’a gathered unto themselves, under an umbrella, so to speak but not in any way that the federal guv’mint could really object…
An innaresting thing about Ma Bell ’n size…if the feds had just left the old lady alone, she’d have gotten so big that she wouldn’t have been able to figure out what in hell wuz going on in her own darn parlor…..
Please witness at this p’tick’lar time, that giant AT&T …it is some kind’a curious company…..
Once upon a time, I had DirecTV for my cable company but the service was so bad (how bad wuzzit) Well, it wuz so bad that every time I had a problem (about every six weeks) I purely hated to call them…First, I had to hear how much it wuz gonna cost me if it wuz my problem ’n not theirs (I would point out that I paid for their insurance so that ALL THE PROBLEMS WOULD BE COVERED BY THEM)…once that wuz established, they would explain how they just couldn’t get to me for a week or ten dayz or whatever…SO, I got tired of dealing with them ’n called Dish…they were out the next day, installation wuz a breeze, a few problems the first few months, they were right there, no questions…good service…Direct offered me tons of incentives to come back but I wuz steadfast ’n stayed with Dish…until their contract dispute with Turner…irritating but over in a few days….next came their dispute with CBS…also irritating but over in a few days…THEN came their dispute with Fox….’n it’s gone on for weeks ’n I’ve explored the alternative news sources, CNN, HLN, Al Jazeera, ’n of course, ABC, CBS, ’n NBC…they’re all jokes…they don’t tell you the news ’n NBC which once upon a time had a reputation for being the best in the 'hull darn United States has become a joke…they don’t give the news, it's all about puppy dogs 'n kitty cats...they’re almost as bad as MSNBC that has negative ratings becuz even their own people watch something else…
Anyway, back to that fabled, almost monolithic company called AT&T…They have blanketed my mailbox with ads touting U-verse. They seem t’be on every channel with their ads bragging about their service 'n how U-verse is the future 'n puts ever' other comp'ny to shame….’n being old fogies, She who must be obeyed ’n m’self, still have land-line service on our house phone (we mainly use cell phones for durn near ever’thing) ’n we have AT&T internet service…shouldn’t be a big deal to switch from Dish to AT&T, wouldn’t you think…
I looked ‘em up on the ‘net…too damn confusing for anyone as old ’n irrelevant as me so I called them…they were excessively polite (which should’a been a clue) but I ended up on hold anyway…well, stuff happens even when you’re old ’n irrelevant so I would hang up after awhile ’n try later…four or five times later…’n finally got to speak with a real person…Heck! We came to an agreement right away, they’re gonna install Monday between 9 ’n 11 in the AM…price is right, service seems right…all is good, right? Wrong!
They send me two e-mails about the coming installation at my address in Chicago, Illinois…I call ‘em up, explain their mistake, explain tht I ackshully live in California...
They inform me first that shouldn’t be a problem, then they find out that maybe they do have a problem, that maybe they don’t have U-verse service available in Fair Oaks…
That’s funny, say I, since some of my neighbors have U-verse…AND since the mighty AT&T advertise all over the Sacramento area that U-verse is available…Nevertheless, sez their polite ’n accommodating representative, they don’t have service available on Crestline Avenue in Fair Oaks, California, zip code 95628…I hang up!
Later in the evening, I get two more e-mails confirming the coming installation at my home in Chicago, Illinois…
I ignore the e-mails but for some perverse reason, I go online ’n find myself in a chat with another overly polite representative that is so sorry for the inconvenience but he is sure that he can fix whatever problem I may have…shortly after that pronouncement, he passes me on to another polite representative that assures me even futher…until, he finally tells me that U-verse service may be available in other areas of Fair Oaks but it is definitely not available on Crestline Avenue, etcetera, etcetera…
I’m currently awaiting to see whatever might transpire this coming Monday...
No comments:
Post a Comment