Everything has a moral...if only you can find it....L. Carroll
I tell people that the first thing I do ev’ry morning is check the obits in my hometown newspaper…if I don’t find my name there, I check my own pulse ’n if it’s still thumping along, I have a cup of coffee ’n get the day started…
Well, I tell people that ’n they’re prob’ly getting a little tired but them are the jokes, people…you get what you pay for…
Anyhow, that’s what old people do, more or less…mainly to see if any of their friends took the opportunity to slip away overnight…not that you want to find any of their names, y’understand, it’s just that you want to be aware of it when it happens and it’s a certainty that it’s going to happen…not a certainty that you get to read about it, but a certainty that it’s going to be somebody, maybe even yourself…
Folks, it’s gonna be somebody…we all come with an expiration date, like milk…Sometimes, the expiration date sneaks up on you and you only find out after you’ve laced your morning coffee with sour milk, took a sip, made a face ’n dumped the whole thing…then, you’re stuck with trying to get the sour taste out of your mouth…I swear, it’s almost enough to make a body give up cream in their coffee…
Which is something that I actually did years ago…remember when, overnight, the world came out with faux creamer for your coffee? All of a sudden, in every restaurant and coffee shop in the whole US of A, the cream (in most cases, half ’n half) was replaced with imitation coffee creamers and they were universally bad….I mean B A D! Anyhow, that’s when I gave up ’n began drinking my coffee black…reminded me of when I was a child ’n I wanted to drink coffee the way my grandfather, John Sam Smith did…strong, black and in a saucer! I was maybe five or six years old at the time and it seemed really cool…
Later in life (still before I was twelve) I began to take my coffee the way my mother did,with cream…not milk or half ’n half, but cream…the serious stuff…and I drank it that way for years, modifying it of course to circumstance…no cream? use half ‘ n half…no half’n half, use milk…up until that fateful day when somebody ( probably the creator of that durn pet rock thing) came up with the idea of faux creamer…prob’ly made out of plastic…
Millyrose, she who must be obeyed, gave up coffee several years aog…altogether! For several years, she drank various teas ’n herbal stuff until one day she went with a friend to Starbucks ’n got hooked on mocha latte’s, or whatever…mostly whipped, frothy cream with a touch of coffee…then, we (the editorial we, of course) began buying a bottled version at our local Shop ’n Drop…but, they didn’t always have what she wanted so in my incredibly brilliant way, I suggested that she simply make her own at home…Y’know, I don’t care if you’re a good husband or a bad one, sometimes you just shouldn’t open your mouth because…well, just because…
Anyway, she who must be obeyed rises earlier than this old miscreant and makes the coffee…hard to ask for more’n that, y’say…Well, it has its good side ’n it’s got the other side as well…’cuz sometimes she drinks darn near the whole pot of coffee…
I buy a half-gallon of milk at a time becuz that expiration date c’n get tricky…Millyrose doesn’t drink milk but she uses half’n half in her coffee…we began with the small pintsize, graduated to the quart ’n now we get the half-gallon size…sometimes, two of them…’n she doesn’t worry about the expiration date…sort of like when we had a houseful of kids, we didn’t worry about the expiration date on a package of potato chips…
When I wuz a boy, there wuz a popular joke that got told over’n over. “T hat’s Life!”
What’s Life?…A magazine! What’s it cost? Ten cents! I don’t have ten cents! Well, that’s life!”
Nothing in that joke is relevant in t’days world ’n some days, I feel much the same about,,,well, things in general…
Hope y’all have a good day…..Justin Other Smith
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