Summer doldrums.......

Just so’s y’know, it was an absolutely Tony the Tiger GREAT party.....the 50th Anniversary bash that we just had.....the kidz did a mahvelous job ‘n seemed t’me that ev’ryone had a good time ‘n went away smiling ‘n you just can’t ask for a lot more than that....
Anyways now we got a quiet Sunday, well at least as quiet as two little dogs will allow when there are chickens ‘n squirrels ‘n birds ‘n strange cars that drive on their street....I tried t’watch Meet the Press ‘n as much as I like wats’isname Gregory, he ain’t no Tim Russert ‘n NBC is lookin’ more ‘n more like the leaning tower of warmed over pizza ‘n that’s just sad....
The vast wasteland seems t’be vaster than ever, at least for what used t’be the powerhouse networks, the Major Leagues so t’say.....I was reading some of the shows that are being cancelled ‘n most of ‘em were just to ho-hum to matter....I have a neighbor who watches old-style teevee, y’know antenna ‘n what comes free thru the air....he sez when the switch to digital actually happens ‘n he can’t watch teevee at all anymore, he doesn’t think he’ll really care....’n I can’t blame him except I watch a lot more television than I use’ta...’n most of what I watch is cable....that’s where the almost-good shows are ‘n thank heaven for TIVO ‘cuz what I do is record all the shows I think I want’a watch ‘n then delete them at a later date....
What we got is the ‘summer doldrums’ which basically translates to really boring teevee.....

Designated driver....

“Do not send to ask for whom the bell tolls.......”

Ev’ry day seems like somethin’ happens to remind me that time flies whether you have fun or not.....sort’a like ‘pick your posies when you may’ stuff....Farrah Fawcet is dying (probably) of cancer ‘n she’d doing it publicly...well, at least on camera anyway.....public people live their life for the world t’see ‘n for many of them, the part that the world doesn’t see is less real....privately they may be shorter, fatter, dumber.....they may be boozers, druggies and/or perverts......they may have less hair ‘n more pimples.....completely different people in private than in public....When Burt Reynolds was married to Loni Anderson, they lived in different wings of their mansion ‘n told a magazine that they never let the other see them without their makeup......Laurence Olivier... Sir Laurence Olivier told late night television watchers that he was dumb ‘n that if he weren’t an actor, he would probably have ended up ‘on the dole’.....I don’t think that’s completely true.....like the sophism about the dumb jock...altho’ I’m quite sure that there are dumb jocks ‘n dumb actors, I’m just as sure that there are dumb writers, teachers, policemen, druggists, whatever profession you might think of, dumb is no respecter of person....we all have huge gaps in our thought processing centers that should prob’ly be labelled ‘dumb’....maybe even capitalized ‘DUMB’.....(possible exception, of course, being politicians who are always in their own little world to the exclusion of everyone else).....
Anyways, Millyrose ‘n I are rapidly coming up on our 50th wedding anniversay (talk about time flying) ‘n she ‘n the gurlz have been uber-bizzy arranging a humongous luncheon to celebrate this momentous occasion...(I’m reminded of Lincoln’s words, “The world shall little note nor long remember......”)
Not that I’ve ever been noted for my modesty but I can’t lay claim to any bragging rights for the longevity of this marriage.....it’s all the fault of Millyrose for putting up with me.....I’m just the designated driver.....

What's in the air.....

My hometown of South Shore, Ky is in the news....well, that’s if you consider the Portsmouth Times as news....
Back in my way back when time, Portsmouth, Ohio was a thriving community of 40K plus....the N & W Railroad had a big yard, there was a steel mill, two or three shoe factories and, for a shot in the arm, the Atomic Plant came to the area and a host of newcomers came to build it....downtown Portsmouth was busy in those days with seven or eight movie houses, a couple area drive-in movies, a booming if somewhat raucous nightlife and shopping, shopping, shopping.....one of the most lucrative businesses was the toll bridge (the U.S. Grant) across the Ohio River...
Well, that was then... Portsmouth t’day is less that 20K and most of the ‘real’ stores have gone...there is no Railroad, no steel mill, no shoe factories, in fact, no factories at all....they do have a college, Shawnee State, but they tore down some aw’fly nice old homes to put it where it stands....A college is a nice thing for a small town to have but when it is the primary business of a town......ahhhh well....
Anyways, South Shore made the front page of the Portsmouth Times for a drug bust...I didn’t know any of the people involved.....’course, I don’t know a lot of people back there t’day.....As Portsmouth went downhill, sadly South Shore did also.....way back when, South Shore had two movie houses, a Chevrolet dealership, S.M. Roberson’s general store (a precursor of t’days supermarkets) a bank, several restaurants, a couple barbershops, service stations and assorted businesses..
Times change (sighhhhh)....’n whether they’re better or worse isn’t really for us to judge....we’re much to close to our present to make a fair assessment and as far as our past is concerned.....well, we tend to filter our mem’ries...
which ain’t necessarily a bad thing.....just the way things are.....

Tortured logic......

T’other day someone stole a ball cap from me ‘n I’m still venting about it altho’ I’m trying to forgive my trespassers ‘cuz I’d like t’be forgiven for my own trespasses......when it’s phrased that way it sounds like I’m trying to make a bargain with God, don’t it?....anyways I figure I’ve trespassed more’n enuff in my life ‘n besides, carrying anger around with you just plain has too high a price....Heck! The price of a bottle of Tums c’n give a body an upset stomach....’course, Tums is a deductable item but I bet there’s darn few people who keep good enough records to do that......
Shades of Mayberry, RFD.....I just heard that an old friend of mine (Denver ‘Bud Mullins, but don’t tell) is a deputy Sherrif in Dover, Tennessee.....dunno what that says for Bud but sheds some light on Dover, Tenn......
Took da boyz (Rusty 'n Willie) in for a bath ‘n trim....Millyrose found a new groomer.....don’t know how she’s gonna work out but she let me know right upfront that she wants t’be paid in cash....at least, this first time ‘n maybe after she gets t’know us, why then she might take a check....
Went to Davis t’other night to see Emerson Jr. High’s production of ‘Bye, Bye Birdie’....everyone does a good job ‘n I enjoyed the show but there was only one intermission ‘n those little folding chairs are torture for these old bones.....
Just so’s you know......I’m against torture. I don’t believe in it and I think most Americans are against it also. And that includes President Bush. The ignorance of the arrogant liberals is truly wearying. And as far as waterboarding (?) is concerned, it isn’t really torture. Not by definitinon anyway. According to the dictionary, torture is the action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.
By that definition, John McCain was the victim of torture. He was beaten, suffered broken bones, was deprived of both food and sleep, and isolated. He was tortured.
By that same definition, none of the captive terrorists at Guantanamo have been tortured. No beatings. No broken bones. They all appear to be clean and well fed and they’re certainly not isolated. They were not tortured....

Festivus Fair Oakus.......

or the first day of what used t’be the Fair Oaks Festival but is now known as Fair Oaks Springfest....the movers ‘n shakers ‘round ‘n about our little village seem to have become chicken-brained.....anyways, it’s raining here t’day (seems like it’s raining all over the world, I don’t know about Georgia) and all the leaves, the trees are green ‘n drooping ‘n the blue jays are in hiding along with most of the chickens....not all of ‘em cuz when I took da boyz for a walk there was enuff of ‘em strutting about to give Willie his exercise.....he do love chasing chickens.
‘course, he also likes chasing cars ‘n leaves ‘n most anything that moves.....wonder how he’d have done at the Derby.....that was some speedy horse that won t’day....I believe I heard ‘em say that he was a gelding....too bad...
can you just imagine the stud fees that would’ve come from a ten thousand dollar investment.....he could’ve turned the national economy around all by his own self....
anyways.....it’s been pretty slow around here t’day considering it’s Festival weekend....guess all the rain kept scads of people away.....well, maybe the swine flu kept some of ‘em away also.....

In Memoriam: Charles Richard Dameron

"Hurray, hurray, the first of May..
Outdoor screwing starts today!"

Progress is progressing.......

T’other day I deposited a check at the BofA in O’vale...
I didn’t sign the check...I didn’t place it in an envelope ‘n write the amount ‘n check number on anything.....I just plugged in my card ‘n typed my pin number ‘n dropped the check in the little slot wherein a picture of the check appeared before me.....I verified that it was indeed the check that I wished to deposit ‘n it was for the amount stated on the front of the check ‘n the machine printed me a receipt.......thankyouverymuch.......
I cudn’t help thinking that machines were getting so advanced that in the near future I c’d prob’ly just stand in front of the automated teller ‘n it would look at me ‘n identify me ‘n ask me what I wanted ‘n it will happen...Wow! Just the way it used t’be in the good old days when you went inside and handed your deposit to a teller.....my my ain’t progress wunnerful?.....

Thru the looking glass......

Gahd! Ya just gotta love politics.....or not! Ev’ryone in the politics biz just don’t think the world revolves around them, they know it.....I mean, migahd, did ya see Arlen Specter preening on the news ....that old man sh’d be locked away in a nursing home somewhere drooling on himself, not hobnobbing with Rob’t Byrd ‘n making laws that are gonna affect millions of Americans who prob’ly don’t have enuff sense to come in out’a the rain ‘cuz we keep electing mokes to represent us.....(Moke: to wit, an inferior donkey)......’Course, in these enlightened ‘n PC times I sh’d prob’ly define a moke as a ‘special needs jackass’......O wait a minnit.....they just elected another one in the grate state of Manyhaha’s....Al Frankencheese sh’d make a wunnerful, wunnerful representative for all the citizens of that great state.....
In the meantime, I’m thinkin’ that California sh’d name Perez Hilton as Miss California.....well, equal rights ‘n everything, y’know......too bad his Mother aborted him....
My ol buddy, big bad John McCain is gonna be on AMC touting ‘war’ week.....I like John....he proved years ago that he c’d take a punch, he just never learned to counter-punch....his daughter looks pretty pugnacious tho’.....I bet she’da took a swing at Obama....
I’m wondering, if we pulled all our troops out’a Iraq ‘n Afghanistan ‘n Kosovo ‘n Germany ‘n Korea, could we mount a successful invasion of Mexico?......We c’d take over the drug trade ‘n pay our debt to China......’n speaking of our debt to China, is there any way we c’d make Obama personally responsible for all the money he’s borrowing???