Stuffit!

“A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it.” Geo. Carlin

Everyone has stuff....and everyone wants more stuff. We fill our homes with stuff. We put so much stuff in our garage that the car must of necessity be left out in the cold. (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

Stuff is such an important part of everyday life that storage units have become big business all across our fair land. When we run out of space at home, we simply rent a storage unit. Or multiple storage units.

Miser and hoarders who fill their homes with old newspapers and magazines are mocked by the news media. Often their stuff is taken away to be archived in the nearest landfill. Sometimes they themselves are taken away to be archived as well. Of course, they are extremists and not to be confused with the rest of us who merely collect stuff.

I once had a fellow collector explain his actions with the statement, “He who dies with the most toys, wins.” Toys being the euphemism he favored for his own vast collection of stuff. Cars, tools, whisky bottles, assorted camping gear, etcetera ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Not to be confused with my own personal collection of art, rare books, vintage photographs of long forgotten friends and family. Oh, and some childhood toys that I’ve managed to drag into my seventh decade. I guess if I want to be totally honest about it, I could describe my collection as being half-vast.

And once in a while, I do occasionally get rid of stuff. I bundle it up and pass it on to various and sundry charities (and occasionally, the nearest landfill). And I’ve never had to resort to renting a storage unit to keep my spillover stuff.

On that proverbial other hand however, my house is kind’a full of stuff tho’ to be honest, it isn’t all mine as my children are modest collectors in their own right and I never go upstairs anymore and rarely into the basement. Not that I can’t go there. I could if I wanted to. But I’ve told my grandchildren that monsters live in the upstairs and ogres in the basement and I just try to set a good example for them by not going there.

“Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol!”