Waitin' for the rain....

The claim is that Mark Twain said, “Ever’one talks about the weather but no one ever duz anything about it.”

That sounds like Mark Twain t’me ‘n I believe that he prob’ly ackshully did say it...if he heard it somewhere else first, well that don’t make no nevermind anyways...

My Grandma use’ta say, “An idle mind is the Devil’s workshop.” I bet Mark Twain said that a few times also but it already belonged to someone else ‘n he wudn’t able to claim it for his ownself...

‘Course, I ain’t got anywhere near the talent of a Sam’l Clemens but I got the idle mind stuff down pretty pat...at my age, I’ve had a lot of practice...So, I’m just sittin’ here with a cup of Starbucks French Roast coffee, waitin’ for my

Pillsbury froze biskits ‘n Jimmy Dean pre-cooked sausage...I’ve fallen down the durn rabbit hole ‘n ain’t even lookin’ no more for a way out...

We got them grey skies this AM ‘n it’s gonna rain...well, at least to the famous ubiquitous ‘they’ anyways...Here t’is the middle of January ‘n all the weather forecasters are predicting that at long last, winter is coming to northern California...rain ‘n wind ‘n snow on the mountain...ALL the bidness people high on the mountain are praying for snow, lots ‘n lots of snow, snow like they had last winter that kept ski resorts open ‘til July...AND snow that filled all the reservoirs with the real California GOLD...

Yeah, I’m talking water...the stuff that makes the grasses grow...the stuff that fish swim in...(they do other things in the water also but that’s another story)...it’s the stuff that lines the pockets of developers ‘n politicians ‘n it don’t hurt the farmers ‘n ranchers none either...it keeps golf courses green ‘n green golf courses are gold also... Anyways if we get enuff rain ‘n snow this weekend, the highways’ll be packed with flatland sightseers speeding to the mountains to careen off the road ‘n bash fenders ‘n sit in gridlocked traffic while they wait to pay chainmonkeys to wrap their tires with those pricey metal links that they hope will keep them out of the snowcovered ditches...’course, there’s always some of ‘em that think once they have the chains on, they c’n drive at what they consider t’be ‘normal’ freeway speeds of 70 mph or so no problema...

All the local news stations’ll have their own people up there up to their hoo-hahs in snow ‘n smiling like they were on the beack at Waikiki...

Ah, that wunnerful, wunnerful white stuff that brings life ‘n greenbacks to the Sierra...

I, personally do my very best to stay off the mountain in the wintertime...I don’t even really trust it in the summertime cuz it’ll trick you if it can...you c’n be up there on the most pleasant day with blue skies ‘n sunshine, green grasses ‘n blooming flowers ‘n you c’n take a little nap ‘n wake to find flinty skies ‘n snow..

I tell ya, mountains have a soul ‘n a long mem’ry of human abuse ‘n if you give ‘em half a chance, they’ll get ya...

When I first came west, I use’ta know this oldtimey prospector type that hung around the general store that wuz the heart ‘n soul of Coloma ‘way back then...I went up there ever’ couple weeks at the time ‘n I’d buy him a beer ‘n listen to his stories about how he’d struck it rich ‘n spent it all ever’ time ‘n now he swamped out the bar there ‘n saved his money for another go ‘round...’n ‘most ever’ time, he’d say t’me, “There’s them as gits ‘n them as gits got.”

The woman who ran the place swore he wuz telling the truth but it didn’t matter t’me then ‘n it matters even less now...

I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one.....