."I keep wondering how I managed to get over the hill without ever getting to the top."

I ‘uz thinkin’ that I prob’ly spend ‘way too much time thinkin’ but then I’ve also been told that’s what an old fool does best ‘n I’ve often heard it said that a body should stick with what a body knows best..

anyways, that’s the kind’a tho’ts that run thru my mind in the wee hours of the mornin’...

It don’t take a lot of that to decide that it’s time to wake up ‘n smell the coffee as Ann Landers wuz so fond of saying back in the day...Dear Ann ‘n Dear Abby were twins ‘n competitors ‘n I don’t know who does their columns now...prob’ly their daughters or maybe granddaughters...it don’t matter cuz I’d bet money that in one of their columns somewhere along the way they’re gonna rerun that ‘wake up ‘n smell the coffee’ thing ....

‘course, to smell the coffee requires that I actually get m’self out’a bed ‘n grind the beans ‘n put the pot on the boil....that’s old-timey talk for pouring water in the coffeemaker ‘n pressing the on switch...in the long, long ago time, you had to build a fire, grind the coffee, put the ground coffee in a pot, fill the pot with water from the well, put the whole mess on the stovetop ‘n wait for it to boil...

after it boiled, you waited for the grounds to settle, sumtimes dropped an egg in the pot to help that process along....oh, life was complicated back in the good old days...Heck! If y’wanted to fry up some eggs to go with that coffee, y’had to go out to the hen-house, gather the eggs (basically, steal ‘em from the hard-working hens that you kept fed for that very purpose) trek back to the house, put some lard in a big, ol’ iron skillet ‘n fry the eggs...’n if you wanted toast, you sliced some bread, put it on the toaster which was basically a wire clamp with a long handle ‘n hold it over an open flame ‘til it was charred on both sides....then you scraped the black off ‘n spread some butter on it (‘n I ain’t even goin’ into how you got your butter back then) ‘n it’s way too early in the day to discuss where your bacon came from.....ah, there’s a lot t’be said for the ‘good old days’ but the only thing that made ‘em good wuz life wuz young ‘n oh, so mellow......

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.