“You shouldn’t ought’a corner sumthin’ that y’know is meaner than you.”

It’s an old story that we got critters here in Ol Fair Oaks...not only the durn chickens that ever’body thinks is so cute (well, turistas think they’re cute ‘n ackshully there are some less than sane residents that support that belief) but skunks ‘n raccoons, lotsa squirrels ‘n pigeons ‘n one lonely peahen...we get deer wandr’ing up ‘n down the street ‘n usually,we get a couple that take up temporary residence in our south forty altho’ with all the fixin’ up activity going on next door, I really don’t expect we’ll be having them this year....I ain’t seen a mountain lion ‘round here for several years now but that don’t mean they’re not roaming the American River Parkway along with the coyotes...no matter what the park rangers say...

Anyways, this summer, according to neighbor Doug, we’ve had a coyote come calling several times....which brings me to last nite....well, early this AM ackshully...The Old Poodle Dogger (like old men ever’where) wakes me at least once or twice a nite to let him out to go pee...since I myself have t’get up once or twice a nite for the same reason, I don’t complain about it but becuz we’ve had a lot of skunks in the neighborhood this summer ‘n becuz there have been reports from around the Sac area of rabid skunks ‘n ‘coons attacking small dogs, I don’t let the Dogger out on his ownself...I keep a flashlite handy ‘n I go outside with him....early, early this morning, Rusty woke me up ‘n I got out’a bed, grabbed the flashlite ‘n opened the door...’n there stood the visiting coyote, just between the porch ‘n the car...

Fortunately, it wuz Rusty ‘n not Willie cuz Rusty listens when I yell ‘n Willie goes deaf....anyways, when I let out a whoop ‘n hit that old coyote with the lite beam, he did the quickest about face I’ve seen in years ‘n disappeared into the nite...I guess my yell scared the pee out’a Rusty cuz he wudn’t get off the porch ‘n we had t’do the whole thing over about an hour later....

“Age teaches you to keep skunks ‘n bankers at a distance.”