“Christmas can be celebrated in the school room with pine trees, tinsel and reindeers, but there must be no mention of the man whose birthday is being celebrated. One wonders how a teacher would answer if a student asked why it was called Christmas.” 

― Ronald Reagan

So a coupla years ago, fed up with the ever-expanding Battle of the Tree thing (Thanksgiving seems to trigger sumthing in women)…'n tired of the trekking here 'n there in search of the perfect tree (don't exist, never did) 'n pretty much fed up in general over finding, buying, transporting 'n dragging here 'n dragging there (let's try a different room)…anyhow, while dawdling thru the 'Christmas Section' at Costco, sumthin' snapped when 'She' remarked that 'we should really just get one of these artificial trees!'

Which is what we did…a 7 footer, loaded with lites, never needing water, just put up 'n take down, store it away in a closet 'n take it out next year….

But the durn thing is heavy, even in sections 'n takes a lot of closet space…if you have a closet large enuff to stuff 7 feet of Christmas tree inside in the first place…'n then there're the directions:  It's taken me many years 'n much frustration to learn the sad truth about directions (a chore I'll leave you to find out on your own, durn your hide)…Funny thing about directions…in the beginning, they're 47 pages long, printed in a dozen different languages, all warning of cataclysmic results if you don't get everything exactly 'n precisely right…the first time…

At the end of the 3rd year, howsumever, when you find the dogeared remnants of those 47 pages, you have one sad 'n lonely little tear-stained page showing an incomprehesible diagram of what purports t'be a Christmas tree but could just as easily be a dollhouse…..

And, y'know, if you have a tree already strung with lites, why you won't have to fool with untangling all those strings of colored lites that Uncle Noah left you after he parked the ark on that darn mountaintop….but when they don't work as they're supposed t'do, the frustration level will cause you to grit your teeth until your jaw hurts 'n you develop a headache that'll take at least 3 Dos Equis or 2 very large glasses of wine to ameliorate….('n yes, I use the word ameliorate on purpose)…

'N all that before you have to come to grips with 'DECORATIONS'…when it's up the ladder 'n down 'n wudn't it look better on this side or maybe higher or lower (I tho't it wuz nice in the box)…'n the kicker, "The girls are coming over to help!"

Talking about the g'daughters, of course…t'ain't like it wuz the gov't knocking on the door claiming t'be here to help, altho' the outcome is often the same…still, I like having the girls come over to hang decorations if only becuz it means that I won't have t'do it m'self 'n the situation will be 'ameliorated' 'n I c'n Dos Equis myself into a winters afternoon nap...

But, y'know what ('n this's sumthin' that's only taken me three quarters of a century to learn)…it really ain't about the durn tree at all…t'is the season t'be frustrated with little things so that when you're finally confronted with the big picture 'n all the ghosts of Christmas past, you'll understand that Christmas is for those who believe…that anything is possible.