"I think the only purpose for paper calendars anymore is to showcase grade school art."

On the twelfth day of the twelfth month in the twelfth year of the Twentyfirst Century…people celebrated 'n despaired…twelve is a fortuitous number, so they say, 'n superstitious people attach a great deal of importance to what is essentially a made-up timetable that exists solely for the convenience of a handful of people who believe themselves t'be 'way more important to their little corner of the universe than events otherwise dictate…..whew….

Many civilizations 'n societies have devised calendars, usually derived from other calendars, etcetera ad infinitum…

Y'got your Gregorian calendar which wuz basically a sequel to the Julian calendar 'n your Islamic calendar 'n the Hindu calendar…the Islamic calendar is basically a lunar calendar based on the phases of the moon while the Persian calendar is a solar calendar based on the seasonal changes of the sun…then y'got your luni-solar calendar which the Jews 'n the Chinese 'n the Indians prefer…the ancient Egyptians had one based on the planet Venus but that wuz once upon a time, a long time ago…

You can make a calendar based on durn near anything you want…Heck!  Those little short calendars that people make up are generally called time-tables…

There's a lot of people that believe that Mayan calendar predicts the end of the world 'n that the only safe place t'be is on a mountaintop somewhere in France but the local gendarmerie (fuzz) ain't letting anybody camp up there 'til the end of the world is over 'n done with…

I had a Timex watch back in the '60's that wuz programmed clear thru the turn of the century 'n I think the Mayan calendar wuz programmed about as far ahead as their programmers could get before they just got tired 'n gave up or maybe that wuz when the Spaniards came t'call...

I m'self believe that people who fret about the end of the world just simply got 'way too much time on their hands 'n should probably watch more mindless television...I think on December 21, all the power companies should shut off the power for like ten minutes just to make people freak out...

"On December 21, people'll be making rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow."