"I'll tell you a secret; all the best people are bonkers."  L. Carroll

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year, a deeply religious time here in Ol Fair Oaks, that each of us observes, in our own way, generally by going to Arden Fair or The Galleria...

Now, for all of you who might not know, Arden Fair 'n The Galleria are the two most popular malls in the Greater Sacramento area 'n I do my best to avoid 'em any time of the year but 'specially at holiday periods when the average shopper seems to go a little more bonkers than usual…'n that's before most of 'em get out of their vehicles, circling 'n circling the parking lots like buzzards in an old-timey western movie…

I love those old time westerns…lately I've been watching Charles Starrett as The Durango Kid…a square-jawed, white-hatted, two-gun blazing defender of truth,justice,'n the American way…part of that history of gun culture thing that's been so in the news lately…

I inherited my first gun, a Remington bolt action .22 cal rifle that the company made so many of they didn't bother with little things like identification numbers…anyway, it belonged to my Uncle Bill Moore who died when I wuz five years old 'n he left it to me…when I wuz nine years old, my parents gave me a Daisy Red Ryder B.B. gun, sort of a learner gun back in those golden oldies…One of the first things I did wuz to shoot Bob Sanders with it 'n had it taken away for a period of time…The third gun I acquired wuz a .20 guage J.C.Higgins shotgun 'n that wuz on my thirteenth birthday…I still have all three guns…well, more or less…the B.B. gun is in a corner of my bedroom 'n son David has the other two somewhere…

I had a couple other guns over the years but I didn't hang on to them…I imagine I traded them for sumthing or other…

I'm not quite sure how I managed to get so old without becoming some kind of serial killer, I mean, I started out with so much potential…after all, I shot my first person when I wuz only nine years old…don't quite understand but since I've failed to live up to potential in so many ways, I've become resigned to my fate 'n will no doubt shuffle off this mortal coil some day without ever actually murdering anyone...

"Last year I had an MRI 'n found out that being claustrophobic didn't mean being afraid of Santa Claus."