"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough!"  Mark Twain

My guess 'ud be that the dog that lives next door wuz as tired of the white rooster as I wuz….I pretty much run either the a/c or the fan all nite, ambient noise along with the cooling but the darn rooster seemed like he'd get right under the window on purpose…I expect the dog, whose main job after all, is to stand guard all night long over his family, just got totally fed up 'n took matters into his own hands, so to speak since dogs don't really have hands 'n in this p'ticklar case, it wudn't even his paws, more like those bone-crushing teeth that come as standard equipment on Chow's…at any rate, the rooster is no mas…esta fini…gone to that great chickencoop in the sky….

I 'uz thinkin' that it's kind of a waste since almost nobody t'day seems to know how to pluck a chicken 'n them that does know ain't so inclined…(just for general information, it requires boiling water 'n physical labor)…

Back in the day, chickens got plucked 'n most of the feathers went into bedding of one kind or another 'n big ol fat ol roosters went into a stew pot since that wuz pretty much the only way you c'd get 'em tender enough to eat….

Also, back in the day, chickens weren't considered pets 'n darn few of 'em got cutesy names…there may have been a few exceptions but not many…chickens were egg-producers or table food….the same for rabbits 'cept the rabbit fur didn't go into bedding…it got sold 'n went into fashion….(well, it did)

Use'ta have a neighbor here on Crestline that kept his freezer full of Fair Oaks feral fowl but he moved to the mountains where, I suspect, he still loads his freezer with the aid of a long gun….Now, dead chickens pretty routinely get tossed into one of the trash cans that line our streets every week…it is a waste but we have become truly a throwaway society….not sure what that says about us as a species but there you have it….

'Course, many of us do recycle…we save most of our can's 'n bottles 'n stuff 'n periodically the granddaughters'll come over 'n we load it all into the back of the truck 'n haul it off to the recyclers…the recyclers are happy t'get the product, the gurlz are happy t'get the money, I'm happy they're happy 'n Millyrose is happy t'get the darn bags off the back porch….it's a win-win all around...

Back in the Garden of Eden, Ol Adam had a good thing goin'…it didn't make any difference what he said, he knew nobody'd ever said it before……

"Contrairiwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  That's logic."  Lewis Carroll

I listen to way too much news….'n yeah, Jay Carney does remind me of Richie Cunningham…a little…I can't imagine Mr. C allowing Richie to dissemble quite as much as Jay but I suppose that Richie Cunningham sincere look is what got Mr Carney into show biz (oops, politics) in the first place….'course, in the Obama administration, it's difficult to tell the players without a program since they have effectively destroyed that fine line between show biz 'n politics anyway….Obama took that advice about having it made if you could fake real sincerity… he probably only ended up in law school 'cause no drama teacher would let him play the leading man parts…..BUT he got it now!  Yes indeedy doo….

I understand why people fantasize about the people they see on the big screen but most people really do know that the actors are only pretending….for the old timers, Errol Flynn wasn't a whiz with a sword, Basil Rathbone was much the better swordsman…John Wayne was an American icon but he never, ever went to war in real life…and no, repeat no high-priced actor ever does his or her own stunts even if they were capable of them because of the money factor…..

I don't quite get why anyone would support Obama after his dismal record but I've  had some people insist that he's doing a wonderful job, that he's a great success, why He killed bin Laden….'n if you point out that, as a matter of fact, no, he didn't kill bin Laden, they get all huffy 'n say 'But he ordered it!"  

As if that was the same thing entirely!

And if I point out that Obama is a master of faking sincerity, they get their feelings hurt….if I point out that Obama constantly, sometimes almost daily, contradicts himself, they get all wide-eyed 'n defensive 'n if I then press the point that those contradictions constitute lies, their universal response is "Bush lied!"  

And it does absolutely no good to point out that if it could have been proven that Bush lied, Congress would have gleefully impeached him but all they can say to that is "Mass destruction, mass destruction."

And William Jefferson Clinton, that great natural orator, the most successful Democrat president since FDR, only co-incidently happens to be a liar of the first magnitude, a dis-barred lawyer (for lying) a sexual predator bordering on pedophile, an accused rapist (multiple) 'n in spite of those minor flaws, is held to be a role model for children of proud liberal and delusional parents….

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there."  Lewis Carroll

"Never put of till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."  Mark Twain

Eat, drink 'n make merry for t'morra….ah well, the nooze of the day is just durn near terrifying…which wuz all the more reason for a family brunch to celebrate a birthday gurl…she claims that Satiday b'days are the best 'cuz you c'n begin celebrating Friday evening 'n (God willing 'n the creek don't rise) keep it going clean thru Sunday….

So, we had a little brunch 'n we had a little cake afterwards 'n now we (at least She who must be obeyed 'n m'self) can have a little nap…well, after I walk da boyz 'round 'n about the Village…they didn't get to go to the park yest'iday 'cause of the Chickenfest 'n they had a great need to sniff 'n pee whilst checking out the detritus which 'uz mainly bales of hay scattered 'round the park…I'm supposing' they were used for seating 'cuz they had a portable stage 'n amplified music most of the day….I' say supposing, 'cause I wudn't there…'n neither were the chickens that the day is s'pozed t'be about…when you have that many people 'n that much noise, the chickens leave…

Anywayze, it's kind of a quiet Sunday afternoon…..who knows what the morrow will bring?

"A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.  And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen."  Winston Churchill

"Honesty is the best policy, especially if there's money in it."  Mark Twain

A few years ago, the little village of Fair Oaks wuz trying to come up with a way to fatten the civic purse…the best thing they had going for them at that time was a cultural event inventively called 'The Fair Oaks Fiesta'….hoping to make that work for them, one of whoever was part of the movers 'n shakers of  that day came up with the idea of building a similar day around the Fair Oaks claim to fame, the Feral Fowl that wuz the legacy of a hippie artist by the name of Hugh Gorman….Hugh brought some chickens from his parents chickenyard 'n turned 'em loose in the village….who knew that so many other people kept pet chickens….my guess is they got 'em for Easter when they were little 'n cute 'n when they grew up, they didn't know what to do  with them….'n then Hugh showed 'em 'n the rest has become Fair Oaks history….

Well, the Fair Oaks Chickenfest is over….when they started, they did it for two whole daze but that didn't work out well…t'day wudn't bad, lots of traffic, lots of cars on out little street, lot of pedestrians strolling up 'n down…ain't sure how many of 'em were confused about wherever they had parked but that happens…the bands they had going all day were amplified so I c'd sit on my front porch 'n listen to 'em….or not, which is basically what I did…

I seem to remember Clint Eastwoods much younger wife, Dina I think is her name, saying on a talk show that his favorite music station wuz Sirius 40's 'n  that's sumthin' I have in common with old Rowdy Yates…

Anyway, when the music from the Chickenfest overlapped my consciousness, I just came inside 'n turned on Sirius 40's 'n listened to 'real' music…

'Course, I also like the stuff out of the 50's 'n 60's but that's another story….

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, 'n do what you'd rather not."  Mark Twain

"If I c'd save time in a bottle....."  J. Croce

Those lazy, hazy, crazy daze of….September?  Here t'is comin' up on my birthday 'n it feels an awful lot like the dog daze of August…..

Time is a funny thing if you bother to think on it at all…according to that reknown sage, Kermit the Frog, "Time's fun when you're having flies."….that less reknown sage, Justin Other Smith sez, "Time flies whether you have fun or not."

That last one, if anyone is innarested, comes from the old bromide, "Make hay while the sun shines."  'Course, it's somewhat doubtful if anyone t'day knows what an old bromide is….prob'ly think it's sumthin' that old people take for an upset stomach….

Young people are either in awe of old folks, like…."MiGawd, how old are you?"….or they're dismissive, looking down their noses 'n sayin'…"They're old, whatta they know?"  Often, both perspectives co-exsist in the same person…I called one of 'em ambivalent once 'n they told me they didn't really go for that same-sex thing….I resisted the impulse to remark on that observation 'n simply shrugged 'n shook my head wisely 'cuz that's what wise old folk do when confronted with such witty bon mots from the technical generation…..

"To be good is noble, but to teach others t'be noble is better 'n no trouble at all."  Mark Twain

Walking…well, actually a slow 'n wandering stroll 'cuz after all is said 'n done, I wuz just following two little dogs who mostly kept their noses to the ground in search of food or maybe just another place to pee…we walked down the street, 'round ' n about the park, circled a big tree that contained a teasing squirrel until we lost interest…chased a few chickens away from a discarded bagel (lost interest in that also)….y'know, I wonder why people think it's okay to throw food on the ground these days…I mean, it's one thing to spread a little chicken food around (dumb but understandable 'cuz people t'day view real live chickens as some kind of exotic animal from dayz of yore)…but, c'mon people, whole bagels 'n huge chunks of watermelon…y'gotta wonder what kind of diet these people are on to begin with that they'd even bring this kind of stuff to a village park on a Sunday morning…..wonder whatever happened to coffee 'n doughnuts????

Back in the last depression, the great one that lasted for the duration of the 'thirties, doughnuts were almost a staple food…they were cheap 'n plentiful…Gawd knows how many millions or billions were given away by churches 'n food kitchens 'n various 'n sundry charities…it wuz a practice that wuz continued into the war years by every service agency in every town, large or small all across the land….Heck!  The story goes that they were so popular that the Red Cross even sold them very near to the front lines of combat all across the world...

America claims the distinction of having invented the doughnut, or more common t'day, donut but we, like the Russians are famed for doing, often claim to have invented durn near everything that's ever been invented…don't really matter…by the time of our Civil War, donuts were considered t'be an American staple…(I don't know if Clara Barton passed out donuts during that war or not 'cuz she didn't invent the Red Cross 'til after but that's another story)…

Anyway, donuts are still popular 'n still relatively cheap (at least, considering the value of t'days dollar)….cheaper than bagels anyway but since this is California, perhaps donuts are considered too plebeian for the feral fowl of Ol Fair Oaks….

Bubbalocity....

And Bubba spoke to the masses…..

Hoo-ray 'n Hallelujah!  Bubba gave a real old-time humdinger of a speech last nit…..by the time he wuz finished, I wuz ready to shout 'NOT GUILTY!' in spite of any 'n all evidence to the contrary…I wuz thinking we should hoist him on our shoulders 'n march him around the gym 'n make him King of the whole durn student body….then I realized we already been there 'n done that!

Then I tho't about Monica 'n the blue dress 'n the famous see-gar 'n the lockerroom snickers of Bill Maher 'n Dave Letterman 'n the infamous quotes, "I never had sex with that gurl!"  'n "It all depends on what you mean by the word 'is'…!"

Yeah!  Bubba gave a speech, all about how he 'n Barry saved not only the US of A but the whole darned entire world from the egregious 'n mean-spirited George Bush 'n "By durn, if y'all just give us another four years, why we'll do it again." (snicker, snicker)  

And then I tho't of all the assholes I've known over the years who used 'n abused the young 'n dumb who trusted them 'n afterwards joked about it in lockerrooms all across the country…all them good old boys laughing 'n joking about putting it over on what they began to call 'Groupies'…

All those guys who think that if it ain't worth lying 'n cheating to get, it just ain't worth having…the backroom boys who fed the housing bubble until it burst, the Bernie Madoffs of the world 'n the politicians they bought…

Yeah!  Bubba gave a speech alright, but we're still 16 Trillion dollars in debt…we still got the highest unemployment of my lifetime…we got more people on welfare than most countries got people 'n we got more people living in poverty that at any time in history…and we got the Democratic Party singing 'Happy days are here again'….

Are you better off?  Really?  'cause I'm not 'n I don't know anyone who is…other than the Obama's 'n the Clintons 'n the rest of the ass-wipes in Washington that got rich at the expense of the taxpayers…..

Labor Day 'n Idle Tho'ts...

"Truth is mighty 'n will prevail.  There's nothing wrong with this 'cept it ain't so."  Mark Twain

One 'a them Democrats, that Latino Mayor Villagarosa (?)stated that the Republicans seemed to be so behind the times that they might as well have been in 1812…'course, the fact that he's Mayor of Los Angeles 'n nuthin' of importance ever happened in the country prior to the Hollywood re-invention of Los Angeles….

1812 saw the birth of the Repuclican party…they called it the Democratic Republican Party back then…James Madison wuz President 'n I b'leeve he pretty much wrote the Bill of Rights that we still use t'day….'n he wuz responsible for the Lousiana purchase which durn near doubled the size of the country…

We were having another war with Great Britain (we won again for those who might not'a paid attention in class)…

It wudn't really a bad year as t'days Democrats seem t'be insinuating…Heck!  That wuz the first time anybody ever heard what wuz t'become the theme for the Lone Ranger (otherwise known as the 1812 Overture)…'course, that's a pretty patriotic tune even if wuz writ by a Russian so it won't be a surprise if Obama 'n his posse don't know what really happened 'way back then….

I ain't got the slightest idee what's gonna happen during the Democrat convention but I'm almost sure that it's gonna be a doozy 'n I can't hardly wait…maybe they'll want to give Lousiana back to the French t'help 'em out'a their dark hole…not sure if the French 'ud take it though since it's kind'a high-maintenance now 'n all their millionaires are looking to escape the new tax rate over there….Ah well, we do live in innarestin' times…..

Nuthin' worse'n a fam'ly fight....

 "Sumtimes it seems a shame that Noah 'n his party didn't miss the boat."  Mark Twain

This's a serious election we got comin' up….never saw the country so divided in all my life 'n according to the hist'ry books, the last time we wuz so split wuz the election of 1860 which preceded the Civil War 'n that didn't turn out so good…

Seems like those people who like to think of theirselves as 'Progressive Liberals' have a whole different understanding of the English language from the rest of us…we appear to be diametrically opposed 'n we keep saying the same things to each other but we just don't seem to hear each other…

Years ago, I use'ta run alongside the American River 'n when I wuz finished with my run, I'd jump in the river, swim out to the middle where the current wuz strongest 'n turn 'n swim against the current just swimming in place….'n when I got tired, I'd just turn 'n swim to shore 'n rest for awhile 'n go home….kind'a feels the same talkin' to my liberal friends 'n fam'ly….

According to family hist'ry, back in that election of 1860, part of my family took up arms for the Confederacy 'n part of 'em sided with the Union….Heck!  The whole state of Kentucky pretty much did that…we wudn't the only state that split…a lot of border states did the same 'n saw not only some of the bloodiest fighting of that horrible war but the aftermath saw blood feuds 'n family hatreds that still exist to an extent in this, the Twentyfirst Century….Boy, I'll  tell'ya, people got the longest damned mem'ries….

Now, we appear t'be in much the same situation 'n what the outcome is gonna be is anybodys guess but I'm thinkin' there's gonna be hard feelings no matter who wins…

It took pretty much a hundred years to heal most of the wounds from our last Civil war 'n you'd think that reasonable men 'n women would'a learned from that hist'ry that it's best for everyone if we could all just get along…..