Neighbors....

"If you want'a annoy your neighbors, tell the truth about them."

So, the IN (idiot neighbor) who (whom?) I haven't talked with since our little contretemps in the middle of Crestline showed up in my driveway this afternoon to ask my advice on how to go about turning his next door neighbors in to the IRS for 'running an illegal business' in their back yard…That'd be the Mexican family or families that are renting or squatting in the foreclosed home across the street from me…I don't speak enuff Spanish to converse with them 'n I don't know if they have enuff English to converse with me but we smile 'n wave at each other when we pass on the street 'n they otherwise don't bother me which is one, maybe the only, requirement I have for getting along with my neighbors…except for IN, of course, who trespassed on the requirement when he screamed "EFF YOU!" in my face…I, naturally, being the mature adult that I am, responded in kind which resulted in a fairly good neighbor arrangement wherein we didn't speak or even acknowledge each others presence until this afternoon…I don't even care to imagine what he might have been thinking when he breached what I considered to be a perfectly agreeable good neighbor policy that seemed to be working to everyone's advantage…

"If your neighbors think you're a detective becuz a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."  Jeff Foxworthy

Satidaze.....

So, t'ain't like I ackshully lied about the Fair Oaks Fiesta thing, it's just that I pretty much got caught up in the swirling eddy of time 'n didn't bother to check my olde chronometer that I've been wearing on my left wrist since....oh, I dunno, time immemorial...not quite that long but it goes back to the mid-70's when my mother bought me a Seiko divers watch that acts like a counterweight 'n keeps me more or less grounded...well, that's my story anyways 'n I been telling it for a long time so I guess I'll stick with it...
Next weekend is the Fiesta when all the turistas come to town, many of them bringing their children to see all the pretty chickens...the darn chickens ain't really as dumb as some of us like to think so when all those people come onto their turf, they go hide 'n don't come back until things quiet down...which ain't  such a bad idea if you got sumplace you c'n run to...
In the meantime which, if you stop 'n think about it,  is the only time that really counts for much, I'll just walk da boyz around the  park 'n keep an eye on Crestline where nuthin' much ever happens (Thank Heavens)...do a little raking, a little digging, maybe transplant a few geraniums (one of the few things that don't immediately die on me) 'n get my green cans ready for the Wednesday morning pickup...
One a' my neighbors wuz talking about her 'Bucket List'...she's pretty young 'n she remarked that she must be getting old becuz she wuz ackshully making a bucket list...I told her that I'm old 'n the only thing on my bucket list is that I gotta make a bucket list one of these daze when I c'n get around to it...I made the old joke about round tuits but she didn't get it so I went home 'n had a dish of Umpqua ice cream...which only proves that bad habits stay with you no matter how old y'get!


"You only get old once...if you're lucky!"

Fiesta weekend.....

T'morra is another day...that's an old cliche but I'm gonna say it anyway...t'morra is the beginning of another Ol Fair Oaks Fiesta weekend...that means come early morn, the early birds'll be here looking for a parking space...they're really big on squeezing into my curbside plantings 'n blocking my mailbox...when they block the mailbox, it gives my mailman a good excuse to just pass on by...not that Michael takes advantage of that but once't in a rare while, we'll have a substitute 'n substitute p'litically correct mailpersons are difficult to predict...
So, I have taken the heretofore unprecedented step of placing my green refuse containers in a line in front of the old home place in hopes of turning the turistas away...I've seen it work (sumtimes) for my neighbors...I hate t'do it in a way, I don't really mind all those people coming here to wander around our little village 'n ooh 'n ahh over the chickens...mostly I'm fine with whatever floats your boat, I just don't want 'em parked in my yard ('n I want t'be sure I get my mail even tho' I'm pretty sure there won't be anything innarestin there)
The Fiesta lasts for two daze 'n I'll prob'ly, maybe, walk down there at least once 'n prob'ly on Sunday cuz that's when they'll have the old cars lined up on both sides of the street...I won't, however, take the dogs...they get a little too excited because there'll be other dogs 'n lotsa people 'n strange smells 'n while I'm sure as I c'n be that they really would enjoy themselves, I'm just as sure that I wudn't....
Anywaze, whereever you are 'n whatever you're doing for the weekend, I hope the weather cooperates 'n everyone has a good time....
Oh....;n a Happy Anniversary weekend to Kellye 'n Ashby!

Harshing my mellow...

I s'pect sumbody sumwhere has noticed that I ain't posted anything for a few daze...'course, that ain't all that unusual...it's just that mostly whenever I don't have anything t'say, I just go ahead 'n say it anyways...but what happened wuz that Millyrose's little brother way the heck 'n gone up in Crescent City had a heart attack 'n the Dr's told him that he should prob'ly get his affairs in order 'n that led to no small amount of consternation in the fam'ly 'n when Millyrose gets even the tiniest bit consternated, I find it p'litically expeditious t'get a little consternated also..
So, I did 'n we packed up 'n got up early 'n backed out of our driveway 'n pulled right back in 'cuz the plastic air dam on the right front fell down 'n sounded like the whole front end of the car fell off...I pulled back in 'n went back to bed for a couple hours before an emergency call to Folsom Lake Toyota got us a temporary fix...'n that afternoon, wedrove to Medford, Oregon so's we could be there to keep an eye on the situation...it wudn't a bad drive, about 6 hours or thereabouts...the weather wuz mostly accomodating until we got to Yreka where it commenced to rain (Welcome to southern Oregon)...
Now I hadn't been that far north in 30 years but, not terribly unsurprising, there wudn't all that much had changed, mountain landscapes being what they are...farther north we got, the higher the gas prices ($4.40 a gal)'n it rained pretty much all the time we were in Medford (didn't stop 'til we got back to Yreka)...
Then when we got back home, the computer did a major meltdown 'n we lost the harddrive...I don't even want to go into detail about all the stuff that we will prob'ly never be able to recover but what the heck, harddrive altzheimers c'd harsh anyone's mellow...

cudn't it?

Ranting: A continuation...

 People should wear seatbelts while riding in automobiles.  After all, seatbelts save lives.  So those who know best what is good for all the rest of us common people pass a law requiring us to wear a seatbelt or face a fine.

Ditto for motorcycle helmets.  Helmets save lives.  Pass a law.  And one for bycycles also.  And don’t forget the fines.  The State needs the money.

Let’s not forget the ubiquitous cell phones.  People love their phones and they will talk on them when they’re driving.  Pass a law and collect the fines.  The State needs the money.

It doesn’t matter that none of these laws were necessary for any  other reason than the collection of fines, after all, the State needs the money.

Oh, and don’t forget the  big one.  Ban smoking anywhere and everywhere and levy fines and taxes.  Don’t forget the taxes.  The State needs the money.

“But” say the liberal elitist, “Seatbelts and helmets do save lives and medical costs.  And everyone knows that smoking not only causes cancer, but also a whole host of other expensive ills that cost everyone so banning smoking is a good thing.  And besides, the State needs the money.”

And then, of course, there’s junk food.  It’s bad for children and adults.  Causes obesity and  heart disease and diabetes and fallen arches.  Pass a law and levy fines.  The State needs the money.

Haven’t you heard?  California is broke!  Sacramento is broke!  The Maloof family is going to take the Kings away to a less-deserving city that doesn’t need the money nearly as much as Sacramento. 

And don’t forget high-speed rail.  We really need high-speed rail because they have it in China and Europe and we’re falling behind.  I wonder if they can pass a law requiring every citizen of California to take at least one round-trip a year on high-speed rail or face a fine.  After all, the State needs the money!

Sleepy-bye rant...

When you can't quite keep your eyes open 'n you can't quite keep 'em shut ~ after you've had a glass of milk 'n a leftover sleeping pill ~ 'n after reading some of the absurdities that self-serving, agenda-driven elitists prattle about in their ongoing attempt to scam a population that is reeling from the constantly rising  cost of living brought to us by pious, sanctimonious, greedy politicians 'n 'more equal than other' leaders of the parade...

High speed rail is being sold to the California electorate as a panacea that will cure all the ills of the dysfunctional government that has been brought to us by the Progressive Liberal elitists who know best how to solve their neighbors problems.  

The fairy tale that forcing the multitude out of their cheap transportation is the cure for traffic gridlock is the same old story that we’ve heard since the inception of the Great Society that you can make a poor mans hovel look better by tearing down his middle class neighbors house. Forcing people out of their cheap transportation (automobiles) and onto mass transportation (buses,trains,and airplanes) can work in relatively small, high-density areas (New York City, etcetera) but doesn’t work at all in larger, less densely populated areas like the American west.  

The Progressive Liberal Elitist will say, “People should live closer to their jobs.”  Of course, that rule won’t apply to them. After all,they’re important and they have a greater need for private transportation.

Oh, and let’s not forget the jobs that highspeed rail will create.  The state can simply raise taxes on the wages that will come to the people who build the system.  There will obviously be more than enough income to pay the bureaucrats a percentage  with all the rest going back to the people who paid the money in  the first place.  It’s sort of a ‘round robin affair’....You can rob Peter to pay Paul then tax Paul to provide food stamps and unemployment insurance for Peter.  

No mes problema, manana es ‘soon enough for me’.....

After the road trip, a shave...

“Neven go on trips with anyone you do not love.” Ernest Hemingway

What it wuz, wuz a fam’ly emergency cuz Millyrose’s younger brother had a heart attack ‘n the Doc’s told him he should get his affairs in order...’n that created a sense of urgency in Millyrose so we hurried up some plans ‘n set out for southern Oregon...did not begin well as I will recount: We had scheduled service for the little Toyota which I took care of (entailed me driving to Folsom ‘n waiting for 2 hours) after which I proceeded to top off the gas tank ‘n return home to finish up some necessary chores while Millyrose ran a couple of last minute errands...son Dave came to house sit with da boyz ‘n we set the alarum for 3 in the AM so’s we c’d get an early start (the plan wuz t’be in Medford before noon)...all wuz going well, we arose, showered, made coffee, loaded the Matrix ‘n at 4 AM, proceeded to back out of our driveway..

The noise was fearful...tho’t the whole front end of the little car had fallen off ‘n wuzn’t gonna make the trip with us...seems the right-front spoiler dam had come unglued or unstuck or unwhatever it wuz that held it in place ‘n the noize as it scraped our gravel drive wuz, ‘specially in that wee hour before sunrise, daunting...’n you just can’t do anything about sumthing like that at 4 o’clock in the AM so I unloaded the car ‘n with nuthin’ else t’do, went back to bed...only to rise at the more respectable hour of 9 to return to Folsom Lake Toyota where they effected a temporary fix that allowed me to get back home ‘n on the highway by 11:30...following a quick stop at the bank ATM, we were on the freeway shortly before noon...And all went well, the road was dry, the traffic light ‘n I set the cruise control for 68 mph ‘n we proceeded north...a quick stop for a hot pastrami sandwich in Redding ‘n into the mountains that I hadn’t crossed in 30 years...(they didn’t look all that much different)...we ran into rain in Yreka ‘n paid $4.39 for petrol (OUCH) ‘n had rain all the way to Medford (which did look a little different from 30 years ago) but I found AAA in the same old spot where it’d been all that long ago ‘n got a map ‘n a motel ‘n directions to the hospital...very friendly folk in Medford (at least that hadn’t changed) where we found Milly’s brother looking somewhat like death eating a cracker (Millys comment, can’t imagine for the life of me where she picked up such a thing)...

He wuz surrounded by part of his fam’ly that Milly ‘n hadn’t seen for several years ‘n 2 new wives ‘n 2 new children ‘n after we all got acquainted (‘n reacquaintd) had a very nice mini-fam’ly reunion wherein Kit perked up considerably ‘n looked like he might make it thru the night if just for spite..

Ackshully, that first evening, he began to look a lot better, cracked a few jokes but he wudn’t get dressed ‘n have dinner with us which we did with the rest of the fam’ly at the Black Bear Diner that happily wuz sited right next door to our lodgings...

We spent a couple nights in rainy Medford, met with the Doc this morning when he told Kit he c’d prob’ly maybe go home tomorrow ‘n back over the mountain we came...rained all the way to California but I had my sunglasses hanging on the visor as we chased the sun back to our own little homestead in Ol Fair Oaks where I cudn’t hardly keep my eyes open until I went to bed ‘n they popped open automatically...ah well, a few saltines, a glass of milk ‘n a few games of solitaire....g’nite all

Buddha said, “It’s better to travel well than to arrive.”

Who'll stop the rain......

“We were good boys, good Presbyterian boys, ‘n loyal ‘n all that; anyway, we were good Presbyterian boys when the weather was doubtful; when it was fair, we did wander a little from the fold.” Mark Twain

In this election year, politics is the most popular ‘reality’ show on teevee...

‘n reality shows are really popular t’day even tho’ they bear only the slightest resemblance to actual reality; ‘course, if you called them unreality shows, it’ud just be regular programming...CBS ‘ud call them sitcoms ‘n win the ratings war hands down...

All the oil on water people, the hand-wringing peaceniks, constantly warn us of the dangers of talking about religion ‘n politics ‘n suggest that we talk about the weather instead...

It appears that we have a respite from the rain ‘n that’s a good thing(stolen from Martha ‘n oft repeated w/out credit)...’specially for nabor Doug who has seemingly developed a mild case of cabin fever...

Well, Douglas lives alone, except for the catz...he use’ta be a dog guy but the dogs got old ‘n died ‘n now he’s a cat guy...’n he lacks cable teevee...’n ev’ry time he’s set out on a walk the last few daze, he barely gets around the corner before the rain cometh down ‘n it’s been comething down a lot lately, even bringing some hail with it which makes it really, really uncomfortable if you’re walking...

Fortunately for Douglas, the property next door to him is up for sale ‘n Fair Oaks properties advertised at the price of this one are rare so there’s been a lot of interest ‘n a lot of traffic so Doug has been...well, keeping a peeled eye on the situation ‘n talking to all the potential buyers...

I told him that he should get a commission if the place is sold but he sez it’ll just be nice to have somone buy it ‘n clean it up, at least keep the bamboo cut back where it encroaches on his property...

I c’n sympathize with him... encroaching bamboo is serious stuff...if left unchecked, it’ud be like the kudzu vine that ate the south...it’s especially rampant now becuz of all the rain ‘n mild temps we’ve been having (you c’n almost watch it grow)...

Doug told me that t’other nite, a big ol hen nested in the bamboo ‘n it grew so fast, it caught her in a natural cage ‘n he had to cut her out...

Recently, he’s got a big old skunk come to live in his back yard...I asked him what he wuz gonna do about it ‘n he claimed that he wuz just trying to maintain ‘friendly’ relations with it, which, given the nature of the beast is prob’ly a wise course...

“Sumtimes when y’get in a fight with a skunk, y’ cain’t tell who started it.”

There’s just sumthin’ about a rainy mornin’....

“I think maybe the secret to life is to just hang around ‘til you get used to it.” Charlie Brown

Dunno just quite what it is about being up early on a rainy morning...all that quiet ‘cept it seems like God forgot ‘n left the tap open so’s you got that sound of running water playing thru your mind...ah well, coffee’s on the boil ‘n biscuits in the oven...I’ll do me up sum o’ them Jimmy Dean ‘cooked already’ sausages ‘n maybe an egg ‘n peruse the morning rag...that ‘ud be the Sacamenna Bee which seems t’have fallen victim to that old curse of ‘Cheer up, things c’d be worse so evidently they must be awful cheerful ‘cuz they certainly got worse.’

Big headline in the SacBee about the arrest of Geo Zimmerman down there in Florida...reminds me a little bit of the Fair Oaks Feral Fowl...when y’have a chicken fight which happens a lot when you have an over-abundanza of roosters ‘n one of the roosters get’s beaten badly enuff to draw blood, why all those roosters who were hanging back t’see who won so’s they c’d cheer for the whoever is the new ‘big guy’ ~ why, they all gang up ‘n just nachelly jump all over that poor loser ‘n peck the SOB to death...which is kind’a what the snooze-nooze media has done to the hapless Zimmerman...well, after all, there ain’t any doubt as to him ackshully killing the Martin boy ‘n you might s’well hang him for it, Damn the expense of a trial anyways...

Yessir, Mister Obama, that Harvard guy who wuz gonna coalesce the country so we cud walk that yellowbrick road t’gether is doing a bang-up job...

“Ask five economists ‘n you’ll get five diff’runt answers ~ six, if one went to Harvard.” E.R.Fiedler

Justin Other rainy day.....

“I’m proud t’be an American becuz an American c’n eat anything on earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.” Bill Cosby

It’s been kind of a funny day... not warm, just coolish ‘n occasionally wet...occasionally ‘n suddenly wet ‘cuz when the rain comes, it comes all at once in a torrent ‘n then it’s over...

Me ‘n da boyz started several walks t’day ‘n had them all interrupted with one of those sudden, short showers...the boyz didn’t seem to mind them very much but I wudn’t p’tikly thrilled...

Anywaze, I got the truck out t’day...

didn’t want the batt’ry to run down ‘n had sum small errands...parked at the top of the hill ‘n waited for Millyrose...

When she wuz ready ‘n belted in, I turned the key ‘n got nuthin’...’n I tried it several times becuz, as you know, if at first you don’t succeed, try the same darn thing over again ‘n pray (made me feel like one ‘a them progressive liberals)...finally, I got out ‘n went to open the hood (it’s a guy thing) except I cudn’t get the darn hood open ‘n had to go to the book to figure out what’s s’pozed t’be a really basic thing...’n of course, while I’m doing this, Mother Nature smiled ‘n dumped a whole lot of raindrops down the back of my neck...Finally slammed the hood down, climbed back inside the truck, made sure the gear shift wuz in park ‘n turned the key...(I think it wuz slamming the hood what did it)...

One of the really important errands that I just had to take care of on this rainy day wuz to pick up sum of that Umpqua ice cream which is a comfort food staple...’n that took me by the in-store bakery where they had just taken some freshly baked French bread out of the oven...

Millyrose makes sum gooooood potato soup ‘n nuthin’ goes better with gooooood potato soup than freshly baked warm French bread (specially on a rainy, rainy day)...

“Remember, man does not live on bread alone;sumtimes he needs a little buttering up.” John Maxwell

"Time's fun when you're having flies...." Kermit

“You’re doing very well, Mr. Smith. Come back in six months ‘n we’ll celebrate your five years together.”

Well, I tho’t this last appointment wuz my five year but I guess I’ll go with his calendar ‘stead of mine...Mine sez that the five years wuz up this Spring ‘cuz that wuz when I ended my chemo treatments but I suspect the Doc is a literalist ‘n to him, five years means five years ‘n they won’t be up ‘til the end of the year...

Well, that’s alright with me s’long as the cancers gone, I’m down with that!

We got some cloud cover t’day ‘n the weatherman sez we’re gonna get sum more rain...maybe...I’m down with that also ‘cuz I’m in a very agreeable mood t’day...

My new neighbor stopped by to tell me that she has the county coming by for a trash pickup ‘n that if I had anything I wanted to add to her pile that I should just jump on in...’n then she volunteered some help if I had sumthing heavy...y’just gotta appreciate good neighbors so Thanks Jen...

"The great secret that all old people share is that you haven't really changed in 70 or 80 years. Your body changes but you don't change at all. And that, of course, leads to great confusion." Doris Lessing

The Day After.....

“Hair ‘n fingernails continue to grow for days after you’re dead but phone calls taper off quickly.” Johnny Carson

A quiet village t’day...well, relativly speaking anyhow...the county’s at the bottom of the hill trimming trees ‘n cleaning brush from the ditch ‘n I’m told on almost-good authority that they’re gonna scrape it clean ‘n line it with rocks...that’ll look better until the carwash employees ‘n customers fill it anew with sandwich wrappers etcetera..

Me ‘n da boyz wuz panhandled for four bits by a young woman ‘to make a phone call’...but I didn’t have any money on me...half an hour later, as we rounded the corner on the final leg of the stroll, we ran into her again ‘m she asked me where she c’d find a working pay phone...’n I had to confess that I hadn’t the slightest idea....

“Have you ever felt like a phone call that’s been disconnected?”

Back in the time of the golden oldens, you cudn’t find a pay phone on ev’ry corner...matter of fact, in the little village where I lived, there wuz only two phones...

That changed with all the ‘scientific’ advancments of the ‘50s ‘ n ‘60s ‘n payphones became almost ubiquitous...

AT&T became so big ‘n so almighty pow’ful that it made the guv’mint nervous ‘n that led to the breakup of Ma Bell intoto...which led to the creation of a multiplicity of phone companies that screwed up service for millions of people world-wide...but that’s all in the past now...now, AT&T‘n Verizon ‘n Sprint are becoming monolithic again, at least in the good ol US of A...(I don’t know what it’s like around the world but I’m told that cell phones are cheap’n everyone has ‘em no matter where you go...but wherever you go, don’t bother looking for an olde-fashioned payphone ‘cuz you just ain’t gonna find one...

(I’ve just been informed that you c’n find them in musuems ‘n antique stores)

“Communism is like one big phone company.” Lenny Bruce

Happy Easter.......

“The world is mud-luscious ‘n puddle-wonderful.” e.e.cummings

In those long ago daze way back when, I worked for a company that paid us ev’ry Friday ‘n there wuz this ol boy from Oklahoma that declared ‘most every Friday that, “The eagle flies on Fridays!”...I know that as stories go, that 'un left the station long ago,

but t’day is Good Friday ‘n when da boyz ‘n I went for our morning stroll to check out the overnite happenings, the first thing we heard when we hit the street wuz what I took t’be a hawk screaming...

Now, my eyes ain’t what they use’ta be but neither is anything else ‘n none of it stops me from looking when sumthing gets my attention...at first, I tho’t I wuz seeing a pretty durn big hawk but as it got closer ‘n much larger, I realized that I wuz looking at a Golden Eagle...’n I confess that I ‘uz standing there gaping cuz they are a beautiful sight t’see...not that they’re all that unusual...there wuz a pair that came 3 or 4 years in a row but that wuz a long time ago ‘n in the meantime, my new neighbor has taken down the 3 redwood trees that they use’ta roost in...

Well, when ever’body is comin’ to Easter dinner, time flies ‘n no matter what dudn’t get done, Easter dinner happens ‘n ‘most ever’one eats too much ‘n talks too much ‘specially when the weather is just made to order for one ‘a them perfect daze...

And it wuz a good time with good food ‘n drink ‘n good company ‘n good stories...but now they’ve all gone ‘n Millyrose went off t’bed before the sun went down (ahead of the chickens) with orders to NOT wake her unless the house wuz burning down ‘n even then, I should take time for second tho’ts about it...

Me ‘n da boyz went down the street making sure that ever’thing wuz the way it’s s’pozed t’be...Nabor Doug is gonna get a little bit of a shock when I tell him that he has a really big skunk habitating in his back yard...for a moment I tho’t it wuz just one a’ the 4 or 5 black ‘n white cats that have taken up abode on our little street but a closer look assured me that it wuz, in fact, a skunk...’n prob’ly a lady skunk which means that at some point in the future, nabor Doug’ll have some little skunks to deal with as well...Skunks are pretty critters ‘n they ain’t scared of much as you might imagine ‘n they don’t move too aw’fly fast but when they put the metal to the pedal, so to speak, they waddle...had a teacher like that once’t upon a time...not gonna mention any names and’ll simply leave it up to anyone who is puzzled to figure it out on their own...

“I’ll tell’ya what puzzles me ~ if one way is better than another, why are so many people going the wrong way?”

Meandering hither 'n yon....

“I’ll be with you in apple blossom time...”

I don’t know if I mentioned it or not but our neighborhood Pea Hen had an altercation with sumthin’ or sumone about 6 or 7 weeks ago ‘n ended up with a broken leg...Nabor Doug stepped in, ‘n with a few phone calls from various ‘n sundry, found some people willing to help ~ The Pea Hen wuz summarily rescued, taken away to a fowl sanctuary in the hinterlands of south Sacramento where she resided until she wuz healed...Last weekend, she wuz returned. seemingly none the worse for wear, ‘n retook her position as the most regal fowl in Ol Fair Oaks (‘course, if sumbody wuz to drop off a Pea Cock, he’d then be the most regal cuz the fowl kingdom is definitely a masculine world)...

All that aside, as we meandered thru the by-waze of The Village on our late afternoon stroll, I noticed that Apple Blossom Time has somewhat magically appeared again (as it usually duz this time of year ‘n it’s nature, not magic)...Still, lacking cherry blossoms, the apple trees try ‘n you gotta give ‘em credit for that...

Back in those golden oldies of my youth, up the schoolhouse hollow ‘n behind the school ‘n bordering the field that passed for a playground, there were a number (I forget how many) of crab apple trees...crab apples are great for throwing ‘n make pretty good jelly but they sure make for a pretty sight in the Spring when they bloom ‘n that seems t’me to be enuff reason for their existence...we got some blooming crab apples out here but they are fruitless ‘n purely ornamental ‘n that’s still enuff reason for their existence ‘specially since we’re a neighborhood devoid of raggedy-ass kidz looking for a crab aopple fight....

My brothers ‘n I use’ta tease our youngest brother, Bill, by reciting:

“My Mother named me William,

My Daddy calls me Will,

But my brothers ‘n their friends

All call me Raggedy-Ass Bill!”

Old men 'n pickup trucks...

“Y’know, a good test to figger out if your mission on Earth is finished is, if you’re alive...it ain’t!”

I ain’t sure why old men think they need a truck...f’er that matter, I ain’t sure why so many old men think they need to raise a beard...

In my ‘salad days’ I never dreamed of owning a truck...farthest thing from my mind possibly...Nah! I wanted a sports car, preferably one with a monster engine that ‘ud go really fast, sumthing built low to the ground, sort’a like a motorized skateboard...

‘Course, back then, I cudn’t picture m’self getting old...still find that kind’a difficult to b’leeve sumtimes, specially when I look in a mirror ‘n do a double take ‘cuz the guy in the mirror don’t seem t’be me...

Now I don’t know about guys that grew up in cities ‘n it’s a fact that I ain’t ‘ever been whatcha might call ‘a country boy’ seeing as how I grew up in a small town ‘n the kids that actually grew up in the country looked upon us as ‘townies’ except they prob’ly used a little more derogatory term for us...it wudn’t have been too derogatory howsumever since we were all pretty much friends (at least, it seems so in mem’ry ‘n that’s the way I want’a look at it)...Anyhow,just being from Kentucky is enuff to make a body at least a little bit country ‘n ever’body knows that a country boy needs a pick’em truck at sum point in his life ‘n since I’m kind’a picking at the edges of my dotage ‘n I’m already tending to my little garden patch of a beard, I figured the time wuz ripe for me to get m’self a pickup truck so I done so...

“I’m thinkin’ that sumtimes it’s a big mistake to know enuff to go in when it rains.”

Angela Crangela.....

Once't upon a time, there wuz a little gurl that had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead ~ When she wuz good, she wuz very, very good but when she wuz bad, she wuz better.....but then, of course, she grew up 'n got to play in traffic with the 'big kids'...

April is the cruelest month.....

“The full area of ignorance is unmapped; we are at present only exploring the fringe.”

So, while watching Fox Snooze-Nooze this Sunday morn, I saw that a big portion of the USA wuz gonna have sum really, really warm weathcr...in the nineties across a wide swath of the country (how often duz one get t’use the word ‘swath’ in a sentence anyway) ~ It’s a bright, beautiful sunny day here in NorCal after a long rainy nite ~ I ain’t seen the local weather report as of yet but I bet there’s snow on the Sierra ‘n that’s a good thing cuz we’re prob’ly never gonna have enuff water anymore or, at least, as long as we keep allowing people to live here...

In olden times, when areas got too populous ‘n the people used up the local resources (timber, water, etc) why they just packed up ‘n moved on...trubble is nowadaze, we’ve purty much used up not only the timber ‘n water but the space itsownself...we’ve literally blacktopped paradise ‘n turned it into a parking lot which we are rapidly filling up with rusty old gas-guzzlers that are becoming too expensive to run...the ‘save the world’ movement is forcing the issue by devaluing our money ‘n making gasoline so expensive that we’re gonna be forced into alternative solutions...only thing is, they didn’t really extrapolate far enuff...the law of unintended consequence is sort’a like the way it wuz in days of old when loggers spread across the country like ants ‘n stripped the country of our primeval forests ~ when you cut ‘em down ‘n burn ‘em up, they don’t come back ~ ‘n the pathetic little enclaves of ‘protected old growth forests’ are simply a reminder of what once was ‘n never will be again...well, as long as we humans dominate the earth anyway...Mother Nature prob’ly has a plan for that as well ~ maybe another ‘Great Flood’ that’ll take most mammals ‘n turn us into fossil fuel for some distant civilization...Boyoboy, that Mama Nature plays a mean April Fools joke, don’t she?

“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”