And on the seventh Day, He rested.....

......’course I ain’t He even tho’ there have been times when I’ve been accused of having a ‘He’ complex....

But since I’m awake at 7 in the A.M. just in time to listen to the Ol Fair Oaks Alarum Chorale as they demand the rising of the sun, which given that strange red light in the eastern sky is only moments away....and since, given the evidence of a frosty windscreen on the Matrix, it is obviously a cold ‘n frigid morning, what I think I shall do, rather than fetching the Sac Nooze from the porch, clad as I am in tee-shirt ‘n....well, whatever.....I think I’ll head back for the Land of Nod ‘n see if I c’n recapture that long-ago (ten minutes or so) dream......
Mem’ry fails as I try to recall whoever it was that said, “You can’t go home again!” ‘Course, mem’ry fails a lot these daze but I c’n state emphatically that you never can go back to a dream, no matter how pleasant....on that proverbial other hand howsomever, you can certainly return to the land of snooze if the dogs’ll just leave you alone.....
Here t’is, the Eve of a brand-new year again...
seems to happen on the seventh day of Christmas almost ev’ry year...must be a mathematical thing....I hear the leaf-blower from across the street...starts up more or less at the same time ev’er Friday...I don’t hate leaf-blowers tho’ I can’t say that I really enjoy all the noise....I use an electric leaf-blower m’self...
not nearly so noisy ‘n I don’t have to wear ear-muffs....haven’t really worn earmuffs since I wuz a boy ‘n back then we wore ‘em for the cold....they was all made the same...a metal band that clipped over the top of your head ‘n fuzzy ear coverings....dunno why we didn’t just pull the stocking caps that we all wore down over our ears but no....no, we rolled those up so they set on the top of our heads ‘n used the earmuffs instead....they didn’t call them ‘stocking caps’ back then.....it was after the war ‘n the military terminology decreed that they were ‘watch’ caps....I might have to google that someday to broaden my base of knowledge....
A body don’t get smarter with age, y’know, but the longer you stick around this tired old world, the more knowledge you accumulate....whether you do anything with that knowledge is your own durn bizness but generally speaking, the older you get, it’ud seem like you might want to accomplish a little bit less after seeing the mess created by all the previous generations.....
I’m just sayin’......

The Sixth Day of Christmas......

...dawned bright ‘n clear....frosty windscreen on the Matrix took a few minutes to clear but, as mem’ry serves, t’was a lot better than having to scrape the darn thing....People born ‘n raised in the Sac area may not even know what a windshield scraper is but I recall them well ‘n not all that fondly altho’ they did indeed serve a very real need ‘n worked a lot better than a credit card....
Anyways, the reason for the early morning jaunt was the trip to the bone-setter...The ‘Bird with a broken wing’ according to the X-ray ‘n Doctor Boris is 90% healed ‘n the soft cast is no longer needed....and while I still get t’be the Substitute Chief Cook ‘n Bottle-washer, I c’n see some light at the end of the tunnel....or sumthin’ like.....
After perusing the nooze, it appears that the recent conflagration that took down the S.M.Roberson building in South Shore was arson.....sad but somewhat predictable given the current state of the economy...seems that the South Shore of my youth is disappearing piecemeal like the little village of Beattyville...ah well, t’is said that the only constant in life is change...
So, it’s a beautiful, sunny day here on this sixth day of Christmas....the halfway point... six more days ‘til Olde Christmas ‘n we c’n pack away the tinsel ‘n glitter for another year....we’re close to another year so here’s hoping that the economic outlook will brighten for ev’ryone.....

And the fifth day of Christmas....

.....is beginning really, really early...dunno why I can’t sleep....haven’t been doing the insomnia thing for quite a while but here I am, sleepless in Ol Fair Oaks.....tossin’ ‘n turnin’ from a little after two ‘n now it’s almost four, well it will be in about three minutes....must’a been sumthin’ I ate, no doubt....cheeseburgers ‘n french fries, a classic all-American meal if there ever wuz one....’n I didn’t have any soda altho caffeine has never been a problem for me...
Anyways, the rain has stopped....as the weatherman sed it would....watched channel 10 last nite ‘n they had (I spoze) a holiday weather guy on the air...don’t watch 10 at nite all that often...Millyrose likes channel 3 nooze on 58....lotta numbers there as opposed to lotto numbers which I don’t do anyhow....brother John sez, “If you don’t play, you can’t win!” I almost always reply, “If you don’t play, you don’t lose either!”.....I think they call that a ‘push’ in Blackjack ‘n I ain’t played that f’ever ‘n ever either, too, also....
T’morra. Millyrose goes t’the Doc for an exray ‘n consult about her broken wing....I’m pretty sure she’ll get some good nooze about it, she seems t’be doing really well altho it ‘s wearisome.....she doesn’t rest well tho’ she’s certainly not been a crybaby about it....I’m not so sure I would have been so stoic had I taken a dive from a barstool... Heck! At my size, had I taken such a dive, I might prob’ly have crashed thru the floor into the scary basement ‘n only Lamont Cranston knows what evil lurks therein....
‘n if you don’t remember Lamont Cranston....well, that’s what Google is really all about anyway.....nitey-nite all.....

On the fourth day of Christmas....

Grey skies ‘n rain in the offing but it’s better than the floods of SoCal ‘n far better than the mini Ice Age back east; doom ‘n gloom are forecast for the housing market; the price of a gallon of gas is going higher ‘n higher; the job situation grows ever bleaker ‘n for some reason the theme song from Mash (Suicide is painless)keeps running thru my head....
I was woke up early by a little dog sitting on my chest ‘n pawing at my head....quick to recognize the apparrently urgent need of my small furry friend, I leapt (creakingly slowly) from my bed ‘n hastened to the door where I had the opportunity to stand in the misty morning ‘n marvel at the slow, grey dawning of the day....(poetic, huh?)...I also had the chance to marvel at two little dogs almost totally obscured by the tall grass....I noted somewhat ruefully my abandoned weed-whacker leaning mournfully ‘gainst a tree....
Ah well, once safely ensconced back inside the snuggery, I proceeded to the kitchen to prepare the morning coffee...Alas, I lost the company of my furry friends who immediately repaired to the comfort ‘n warmth of the bedroom where they had the good sense to join the sleeping Millyrose....
The nooze in the SacBee was depressingly pedestrian ‘n mundane....the abscence of a competing newspaper over the last several years has seen the Bee take on the aspect of a shopping center newsletter ‘n mediocrity would seem to be their present goal.....
My pot of coffee, eight cups translates into three large mugs so I c’n lie to m’self about the amount of coffee I ackshully consume, is empty, only crumbs remain from the toast ‘n I’m running out of nonsense on this misty morning.....
Be of Good Cheer, Brethen, for when all else is gone we’ll still have chickens in Ol Fair Oaks....‘n even tho’ Susan may object, free range chickens make for tasty stews.....

On the third day of Christmas....

Da boyz let me sleep in this morning, dunno why but it was appreciated ‘cuz I stayed up late last nite watching one of those old ‘sappy’ holiday movies....it wudn’t sappy enuff to bring Millyrose to tears (my bad) but it did keep us up almost ‘til midnite....Gahd! That use’ta be the shank of the evening ‘n how old does using the phrase ‘shank of the evening’ make me....
So the nooze on FB this third day of Christmas was the conflagration in South Shore that took out S.M.Roberson’s store...
dunno which direction South Shore will go from here but t’will be interesting to see....well, they gotta go up or down, that’s the nature of things....Portsmouth, Ohio was a thriving city at one time in a beautiful location at the confluence of the Scioto ‘n Ohio Rivers but it’s been down-sizing for years ‘n if it keeps on in that direction, it’ll become a village before too long....South Shore ain’t near as old as Portsmouth but it’s been around for most of the Twentieth Century (which means most of my lifetime) and has a remarkably static population in terms of size....
The Corner (as it has been known f’ever) has been the epicenter of South Shore s’long as I can remember ‘n with the demise of Roberson’s will be forever changed....
T’is an opportunity for the citizens of South Shore to ressurect ‘n rebuild, redevelop if you will ‘n turn South Shore into a Twenty-first Century village with a future or let it spiral ever backward to be the wide spot by the river that it was in olden dayz.....life always presents us with a choice but the choice is always our own no matter the outcome....

The Day After.....

T’was a most delightful Christmas....

with the all the fam’ly....this year was supposed t’be a ‘consumable’ Christmas, an ‘eat, drink, ‘n be merry’ Christmas with all the children.. all mature adults now, well in a manner of speaking anyways....I’ve been saying for a long time now that I have enuff sweaters ‘n shirts ‘n stuff ‘n I just want ‘em to show up ‘n have fun....as a consequence, I gene’ly get ‘gag’ gifts which I appreciate no end.... this year, howsomever, I was surprized with a copy of Mark Twain’s autobiography...I wanted it for my personal collection of Twain, meager as it may be.....I consider Twain to be the benchmark for American writers ‘n as arguable as that might be for some people, it’s my opinion ‘n I’m sticking with it...anyways, the Twain autobio is very difficult to come by but son Dave was in Portland, Oregano, recently ‘n found a copy at a bookstore there so he ‘n Cary presented me with a Christmas copy...just tho’t I’d mention it....
we had a ‘mahvellous’ dinner that began early ‘n lasted late, the way such family holiday dinners are s’pozed to....
Then, of course, I cudn’t stay awake ‘n slept the sleep of the tired old man until 5 in the AM....HAPPY DAY AFTER EVERYONE.....

Best ever Christmas....a short story....

Old Speed’s Best-ever Christmas

It was comin’ on to Christmas before there finally come a freeze out on Beauty Ridge. It had been rainin’ off and on since the last week of October and turned the ridge road into an impassable strip of gooey red mud. The people who lived along the ridge had gone about their own private business pretty much as usual, preparing their homes and barns for winter, stacking firewood and plugging leaks, storing up what foodstuffs they could.
When the freeze came overnight, the soft clay hardened underfoot and them as had horses or mules hitched ‘em up and made their way to town. Everybody else walked or stayed to home.
Old Speed gave goin’ to town a lotta thought. He got out a jug of his latest makin’s and had a taste or two while he pondered. Then he had a few more tastes and decided that if he was goin’, he’d better go while the goin’ was good. He got a old burlap sack and filled it with his trade liquor, hung the latch outside his door and set off on foot for town.
Now if you go by road it’s seventeen full miles from Old Speed’s cabin to Riverton but way less than half if you cut across the ridges. Which is the path that Old Speed took.
Now you need to understand that Old Speed wasn’t actually all that old since he was just in his early forties but the life of a back-country bachelor, ‘specially a careless, some might say shiftless, kind of fellow like Old Speed can make a body look old beyond his years. If you know what I mean.
When Speed started his little walk to town, he had six Mason jars filled right to the brim in his burlap sack and a old pint bottle p’ert near to full in his pocket. the day was clear and cold and on top of the ridge, there was a sharp wind could bring tears to your eyes. Cutting across the ridges was the short way to town but it was more up and down than it was straight ahead and being a cool day like it was, why Speed took a little nip ever’ now and then just to keep himself warm.
He’d about half-finished the pint when he ran into the Smith boys. They was out lookin’ for a Christmas tree for their Mama and quarreling fit to bust ‘cause they all had in mind their own special tree they was lookin’ for and nary a one of ‘em ready to give in to the other two.
Well, Speed, of course, being neighborly, stopped to say “Howdy” and ask after their folks and ever’thing and the boys, likewise being neighborly and polite young men were only too happy to stop and pass the time of day.
Well, one thing kind’a led to another and Old Speed offered around his pint and one of the boys had a package of store bought cigarettes that he passed around and they all stood around smokin’ and sippin’ and passin’ the time of day the way men do and before you know it, the pint was plumb empty and Speed felt obliged to get into his burlap sack and open a jar of his trade goods and pass that around and it wudn’t no time a’tall before they’d emptied that one too.
Well, Speed allowed as how it was time for him to be gettin’ a move on and the Smith boys agreed with him because they still had to find a tree for their Mama. And while they was wishin’ each other a Merry Christmas, the oldest Smith boy pulled a plug of tobacco out of his pocket and gave it to Speed sayin’ “This here’s a plug of Daddy's new tobacco and I want you to have it for Christmas.”
Well Speed thought was real nice of him so he reached into his bag and brought out a jar of whisky and gave it to the boy saying, “Merry Christmas to you and your family and please share this with your Daddy.”
So Speed set off again for town only now with four Mason jars full of whisky in his burlap sack. He was figurin’ in his head that six jars of whisky would have brought him eighteen dollars and he could’a spent a couple nights in the hotel and had holiday supper besides. Now he only had four jars and that would only bring him twelve dollars. Still, he c’ud still spend one night at the hotel and have holiday supper if he was careful.
On the other hand, it seemed to be gettin’ colder and he had developed an awful thirst for some reason. And if he was to open another jar, he’d still have three jars and at three dollars apiece, he’d still have.........nine dollars and if he was to lay out and skip the hotel, he could still have a nice holiday supper and more besides.
So he opened a jar. And he had a little sip. And another. ‘Cause it was awful cold and he still had a long way to go. He was walkin’ and sippin’ and sippin’ and walkin’ and the more he sipped, the more sideways he got ‘til he probably doubled the miles he had to walk. And it seemed like the more he sipped, the thirstier he go so when he finally stumbled into Riverton some hours later, it was gettin’ pretty dark.
Now the little town was all lit up for Christmas with lights strung all along the little shops and Roberson’s General Store really decked out for the holiday with window decorations just like the b ig stores in the city across the river. There was a Christmas tree with gaily wrapped packages piled beneath and a model train set chugging ‘round and ‘round. In the corner sat a jolly Santa Claus holding a long Christmas list and Mrs. Claus peering over his shoulder.
Now me and Dog Wooten and Red Bill were standin’ on the corner when we saw Old Speed comin’ down the street. He had a burlap sack slung across his shoulder and we could hear the glass clinking as he stumbled and stuttered and generally took up a lot more of the right of way than any walking person would normally lay claim to.
Red nudged Dog, “Bet Old Speed’s got whisky in that sack.”
Red was seventeen and older than me and Dog by about a year and he had lived out on Beauty Ridge for a couple years when he was younger.
“Folks on the ridge got no money this time of year,” he went on. “Old Speed’s run out of customers, had to come to town to peddle his whisky.”
“Well lemme see,” I said, “I’ve got about.......uh, not a penny. How ‘bout you, Dog?”
“Probably got the same” replied Dog. “I guess Red’ll have to get us some of that whisky if we’re gonna have any.”
Now the three of us had spent the biggest part of the evening in Pop’s Poolroom where we had swilled soda pop and shot pool until we’d all run out of money which basically meant that we’d each had a bottle of pop and a couple games of pool before we were dead broke. I’d started the evening with two bits, bought a Pepsi for a nickel, lost two games of pool and sat on a bench waitin’ for Dog and Red to lose their money.
Which of course is how we come to be standin’ on the corner watchin’ the world pass by. It was getting colder and spitting snow and I was about ready to head for home when we saw Speed staggering down the street.
“Hey Speed!” cried Red. “Come to town for Christmas?”
“Who’s that?” Speed asked, swaying to a halt, his burlap sack swinging, the jars clinking.
“Red Bill” grinned Red. “What’s in the bag? Christmas presents?”
“Well ....” said Speed, “It was just some whisky I brung to town to sell for Christmas but I think it’s pretty much gone by now.”
He swung the bag around, opened it and searched inside, coming up with a quart Mason jar about half-full of what looked to me to be water. He unscrewed the cap, took a drink and offered it to Red.
“Ain’t enough left to sell” he said. “You might as well have a Christmas drink on Old Speed.”
Red lifted the jar to his lips, tilted his head back and poured some down his throat. When he lowered it, he blinked his eyes a couple times, coughed and handed the jar to Dog.
“That’s good stuff” he said.
Dog sniffed the jar, took a couple sips and agreed, “Smooth as silk, Speed” he said. “Thank you.”
And he handed the jar to me. Now right here, I have to confess that I’d never tasted whisky before. I’d had some beer but that was all. I looked at the jar, sniffed at it the way Dog had, like I knew what I was doin. It didn’t look like much and didn’t smell like much. I leaned into the corner of the building, out of the wind, and lifted the jar to my mouth and took a deep swallow. I mean a big, deep, swallow. And I got to tell you.....I have no idea what that stuff tasted like going down. But it went down my throat into my gullet where it did a quick u-turn and came boiling back up. Out of my mouth. My nose. I swear I think it might’a come out’a my eyes and my ears too. And it made a stone believer out of this old boy ‘cause to this very day, I don’t drink moonshine liquor.
Anyway, when they got through laughing at me, Red and Speed finished off the last of it.
Speed said, “Boys, I want to have myself a Christmas dinner and I ain’t got no money and no liquor to sell.”
And he reached way down in his pants somewhere and pulled out a big old pistol.
“How much will you give me for this here short gun?”
“Lemme see that” said Red. He grabbed the pistol and broke it open, peered through the barrel, snapped it back together and spun it on his finger like in the cowboy movies. It was an old gun with the bluing ‘most all gone and the hand grips wrapped with tattered black electrical tape and while I ain’t all that bright oftentimes, I don’t think I’d’a fired that pistol.
“We ain’t got no money, Speed” said Red, “but if you was to take it in the La-Z-Boy Shoppe there, Clyde might buy it. Or maybe loan you some money against it.”
Now the thing is, about twenty minutes before Speed showed up, the old Chief had gone into the La-Z-Boy. Old Chief Roy was Town Marshall of Riverton and he stopped at the La-Z-Boy Shoppe every night about this time and had coffee and doughnuts. Old Chief Roy was an old-time lawman who was working in Riverton ‘cause he and Mrs. Chief couldn’t live on his retirement.
He carried a long-barrelled, double-action .44 caliber ##revolver with engraved nickel plating and ivory handles that belonged in a museum. And he had no problem using it.
When Red suggested to Speed that he take his old gun into the La-Z-Boy, I’m almost sure that it never crossed his mind that the old Chief might just take it in his mind to draw his own pistol and shoot Speed dead on the spot.
Which of course, he didn’t. What he did was draw his pistol and go upside Speed’s head and knock him colder than a well-diggers butt and drag his carcass off to jail.
The Riverton jail wasn’t nothin’ but an old cinderblock building with a dinky little office and a bathroom and one cell. It was kind of a lonely place to be, considering the time of year and all. And cold. And cheerless. And the Old Chief’s wife was a soft hearted lady and she just couldn’t stand the thought of Speed lying in a cell in an otherwise empty jail and she darn sure didn’t want her husband sitting down there keeping his one prisoner company on Christmas. So.......she made the Chief bring him home for dinner.
And she went all out! She and the Chief never had any kids of their own and it had been a long time since they had anyone else to share their holidays with. She made a humonguous dinner. Turkey and stuffing, cranberry sauce, potatoes and gravy, corn and peas, fresh baked bread, two or three different pies and a cake. And all served up on her good china that I don’t think had seen the light of day for years.
And she just bloomed. Now everybody knew the old Chief ‘cause he was out and about all the time but his Missus was kind of a stay at home and a lot of people in town had never ever seen her, let alone meet and talk to her. All that changed that Christmas. The three of them were in church together. Speed, almost unrecognizable in one of the Chiefs old suits. The Chief, himself, all dressed up in the suit that he wore when he had to testify in court and the Chief’s wife, like Minnie Pearl, “just as proud to be there.”
After the season was over, I mean, after bringing in the New Year and all, the old Chief and his wife loaded Speed into the Chief’s Ford and delivered him back to his cabin out on Beauty Ridge.
I’d like to say that was just the first of many holidays that the three of them spent together and if this whole entire little story was just fiction, that’s probably what I would say. But the truth is that this was the one and only time it ever happened. It was a long time ago and they’re all three of them dead now but I still remember Old Speed sayin’ “Boys, I gotta tell you that was the best Christmas ever.”

T'was the morning of Christmas Eve...

SEASONS GREETINGS
Justin Other Smith

I went for a walk out in the snow
met a little old fat man
who asked me where to go...
I told him!

Me and him went round and round
he said, “Santa Claus is comin’ to town!”
“How ‘bout that!” I said.
I guess I told him!

Christmas Eve and Saturday night
I went downtown and got in a fight
the little man asked me
“Do you think that’s right?”
Well, you know I told him!

Christmas morning I got out of bed,
took both my hands to hold my head,
went and looked under my Christmas tree
weren’t no presents there for me,
called that little fat man and said “How can that be?”
He told me!

LIFE CYCLES

In dreams come memories,
in memories come poems,
in poems come dreams.......
justin other smith

O dem short daze of winter.....

Well, we’re taking a wee break from the rain ‘n it’s just as well ‘cuz I got to dry out the poor, semi-abandoned motorhome...
No blame on the motorhome,y’understand,
it’s entirely my own durn fault for letting the poor thing stand out there all alone in the weather....but it don’t normally leak...
‘course, we don’t normally get hours ‘n hours of rainfall ‘n wind ‘n I should’a done something about maybe covering up the air conditioners ‘n if I had maybe I wudn’t be toting heavy baskets of bedclothes up the hill to wash ‘n dry.....oh yeah, ‘n running the heater in the coach in hopes of drying out some of the wet....all my own fault ‘n nobody else which, take it from me, don’t make the situation any better.....
On to a lighter note on another short day of winter, since it appears t’be at least temporarily dry, da boyz want to go for a stroll ‘round ‘n about the village...
just to see, I presume, ‘n of course, to smell....they spend a lot of time smelling on our little strolls...basically what that means is that I don’t have to walk fast so when someone tells you that they get their exercise from walking their dog, they’re lying....
Christmas is almost upon us ‘n it seems t’be coming awful fast this year prob’ly ‘cuz Millyrose is somewhat laid up what with the broken wing ‘n all which leaves me to cope with all the Christmas stuff...
well, not so much the Christmas stuff, she don’t really trust me that far, after all we’ve only been married for a little over 51 years so in many ways, it’s still very much a wait ‘n see thing with her...I guess probation lasts a long time with some people.....anyways, what it is, is all the stuff around the house that I just don’t get done to her satisfaction....oh, I get pretty good (well, fair anyway) marks for laundry ‘n meals ‘n such but I seem to fail miserably when it comes to priorities ‘n I think that’s pretty much a man/woman thing that’s locked in the DNA ‘n there ain’t a darn thing that c’n be done about it...at least by humanity ‘n that’s undoubtedly a good thing ‘cuz we do have a tendency to mess up whenever we’re left to our own devices.....
Ah well, Christmas is coming...blah, blah, blah, something about fat geese etcetera.....Happy Holy Days to ev’ryone...

Cookies......

Millyrose is makin’ cookies....sooooooo, she must be feeling better, right? Well, she is but the big reason is that she’s just getting antsy....not antsy like Gina who’s fighting the War of the Ants in Davis but antsy as in she’s just tired of doing nothing.....see, doing nothing is hard work if you’ve not been born to it....I mean, if you don’t have the gift, then you have to work really hard to develop skills....that’s why retirement is so hard for some people...Oh, they think because they’ve been working all their lives that they just got into a habit that they’re finding hard to break but those people who have made a study of habits say that all you have to do to make or break a habit is to do (or not do) the same thing for....oh, like three days....’course, those same people are the same kind of people who’ll tell you that you should just eat half of a banana or three potato chips or no more than five peanuts in a day....y’know the kind of person I’m talking about.....the self-righteous prig who never eats or drinks too much, whose weight never varies, who never never never spills a food product down their shirt front...the spotless ones who live in spotless homes ‘n drive spotless cars ‘n have spotless children, the people who never....well, they just never, that’s all.....but, as usual, I digress....on that proverbial other hand, there are people who are born with ‘The Gift’....some people are great natural athletes, some are born with the gift of music...there are many, many talents that God’s children can be born with....and one of them is the ability to do nothing well...’n as I have stated here ‘n there in times past, I have that gift ‘n Millyrose doesn’t, so we complement each other....it’s been a very satisfactory arrangement for many years now ‘n hopefully the coming year will see it continue.....that’s almost upon us ‘n I’m pretty sure we have enuff cereal in the house that we’ll survive....’specially now that she’s making cookies!

O by gosh by golly.....

seems t’be time for rain down the back of the neck....seems like it’s rainin’ all over the world....well, not really....I have a teevee ‘n I watch the nooze ‘n I know that somewhere the sun is shining ‘n somewhere hearts are light but Fair Oaks is turning into Mudville t’nite....ackshully, it started (began) last nite ‘n has continued thruout the day ‘n (according to all the weather pundits) is gonna continue into sometime next week or next year whichever comes first..... FORTUNATELY we’re not getting inches of rain per day which was forecast ‘n would have led to widespread flooding altho not on my little hilltop tho’ we might have had a small lake develop at the foot of the hill....it hasn’t done that for a few years but one never knows, does one?......we had a small break in the rain early this afternoon long enuff for da boyz to take me for a short walk ‘round ‘n about the village tho’ I made it a point to avoid Plaza Park which looks pleasantly green but is deceiving becuz it is water-logged already ‘n 240 lb men have a tendency to sink....da boyz love it however ‘n seem to delight in dragging their bellies thru the wet grass...
Willie especially finds it great fun altho’ afterwards when we get home ‘n I won’t let him back in the house without toweling him down is less amusing to him....it don’t bother eit her one of them very long however cuz immediately they’re thru the door, they run thru the house checking on Millyrose, their food dishes, the water supply ‘n the trash, tho’ not necessarily in that order, after which they flop down ‘n go immediately to sleep.....which come to think on it ain’t a bad idea on a rainy, gloomy, wet Sati’day afternoon........yawnnnnnn.....

Santa Claus is comin' to town.......

Father Christmas
by Robert Service

My Father Christmas passed away
when I was barely seven.
At twenty-one, alack-a-day,
I lost my hope of heaven.

Yet not in either lies the curse,
the hell of it’s because,
I don’t know which loss hurt the most,
my God, or Santa Claus.

The Truth about Christmas
by Justin Other Smith

“Whatta ya mean, there’s no Santa Claus? Of course there’s a Santa Claus. I’ve talked to him. Sat on his lap. Wrote him a letter at the North Pole. Mailed it up the chimney. My Mom helped me. And Mom’s don’t lie.”
Uh-oh! Trauma time! Why do adults persist in perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus? Every year, millions of good little boys and girls are traumatized when their classmates tell them, “There ain’t no Santa Claus, you dope.”
Every year, some mean-spirited yahoo (euphemism for you know what) has a pressing need to tell children the TRUTH about Christmas. Last year, it was a grade school teacher. And her employers, the parents, weren’t even allowed to fire her.
Of course, when the kids get a little older, these same grinches tell them the same truth about God. They tell them the truth about Evolution, how we all crawled out of the slime together. And that’s the TRUTH!
Now, they all admit that they weren’t there themselves, but Darwin figured it all out and it’s the SCIENTIFIC TRUTH!
I’ve got to be truthful and state right up front that I’ve only read a tiny little bit of Charles Darwin, mainly because he was a really boring writer and I kept losing my place and falling asleep, but I’m sure that all the teachers who preach Darwinism as gospel never had that problem. I’m sure they could quote chapter and verse where God said, “Now listen up, Chuck, and I’ll tell you the real story. None of that Adam and Eve jive. Just the whole truth and nothin’ but...”
We say that people who believe implicitly whatever they are told are naive. Whether you accept the biblical view of Creation or Darwin’s theory of Evolution, or Clement Moore’s ‘Night before Christmas’, it seems to me that they are all arguable concepts. You should believe whatever you want. It’s nobodys business but your own.
But, if you’re at all interested, I believe in Santa Claus. I like to believe in him. It makes me feel good to believe in him. And I think I’d be a fool to give up a belief that makes me feel good about myself, my family, and my fellow man.
Merry Christmas to all.

O...and to all, a good night!

snooze nooze.....

Y’know, I been watching p’litical nooze ‘til I just can’t take it any more....seems like ev’ry politician in Washington just wants t’get on camera to prove that they’re never too old to learn something stupid....
I believe Harry Reid wants t’be a modern day Robin Hood who takes from the rich t’give to the poor but the way he seems to hit the target is he shoots first ‘n calls whatever he hits, the target....
I swear, it’s a worrisome situation for all those folks in Washington...The Democrats are worried about what the Republicans are gonna do next month ‘n the Republicans are worried about what the Democrats are doing right now....thing is, most of it ain’t gonna happen anyway....
I think if I wuz a politician, I’d try ‘n remember what I learned in grade school...my 3rd ‘n 4th grade teacher was Miz Fanny Williams who came out of retirement cuz all the young teachers went off to war or to work in defense plants it being wartime way back then.... anyways, she had a sign on the classroom wall that said in big letters...SILENCE IS GOLDEN....’n she re-enforced that with a ruler....but as usual, I digress....as I wuz sayin’ howsomever, if I wuz a politician, I think I’d just hunker down ‘n keep my mouth shut ‘n hope nobody’d notice me until it was time for the next election.....
‘Course it was also back in Miz Fanny’s classroom that I learned that it wuz a good idea not to mess with somethin’ that wudn’t botherin’ me none.....anyways, my advice for them politicians, ‘n I don’t remember who it wuz that said this, “Better to remain silent ‘n be tho’t a fool than to speak out ‘n remove all doubt!”

Things t'be thankful for.....

I was born in the middle of the last great depression...people didn't have much back in those 'olden days' so they were pretty grateful for what they did have or, at least, that's the way it seems t'me...also, it seems that when people didn't have much, they were somehow more willing to share whatever good fortune came their way...Holiday pleasures were simpler 'n all the sweeter for the sharing....
We are in the midst of another great depression 'n circumstances are eerily similar...politicians play the blame game, pointing fingers 'n denying culpability...'n every day seems to bring another voice claiming that the economy is on the upswing..."Prosperity is just around the corner!" What I've been looking for from Hollywood is remakes of those old depression era feel-good movies but so far, no luck...
I get frustrated with the direction my government seems to be going 'n so ocassionally, I vent...'n for friends 'n relatives that put up with me whether or not they agree, I'm thankful...
The Obama Healthcare nonsense is back in the nooze again 'n for all those people that talk about how much better the Canadian healthcare system is.....well, this's for them....
Diane Carriere is a Facebook friend 'n she recently posted the following:

Do you remember that I told you that I would tell you a little about the US? Today is a good day for me.

If you have been following the saga in US politics you may know that a great number of Americans are very concerned about their liberty, about the economy and the security. America may change forever.

Since, the Obama administration took power, the debt rose to alarming levels which will probably affect the US for many years to come. The White House is dreaming of raising tax to get the rich to pay for the poor. Don't expect that money to go to the poor, it will just go to more government programs which are expanding considerably. This expensive entitlement mania is bad news, it almost ruined Canada and Europe is on the verge of collapsing, they say.

Americans will also be FORCED to buy health insurance unless they can revoke the new law which contains more intrigues than any soap opera can offer. Medical costs are expected to climb substantially and the services to go down. I fear for the medical research.

Mr. Obama and the extreme left of his party are as well trying to orchestrate a class war. They want to get the middle class against employers and rich people who support a huge part of the economy. Obama has also been using the race card to gain popularity with his base and to divide his beautiful nation. It almost worked.

This narcissistic adolescent may not be drinking whiskey, but he is driving a big car very irresponsibly. We could all end up paying for his follies if he does not smarten up. Diane Carriere

Morgan Plus Four.....

This is my alltime favorite automobile.....not that it's the most practical...it definitely ain't....it has a wooden frame 'n the leather strap actually holds the hood (bonnet in Brit) down....hard telling what kind of motor it might have cuz Morgan didn't build motors, they bought them from whomever..actually in '56 they prob'ly used the same motor that you'd find in a Triumph of the same time period....this p'ticklar car was advertised on Bring a Trailer as a 'driver' 'n they were asking 15K for it....reasonable price but it would probly cost at least that much in maintenance if somebody would actually use it for a daily driver.....pity! sumtimes it 'ud just be nice to be a gazillionaire....

O the neighborhood.....

I have a neighbor who is a devout Yellowdog Democrat....He told me yest’iday that he wished they could change the Constitution so Bill Clinton could run for Prez again....sed, he’d win in a heartbeat...
I pointed out that Bill Clinton was a self-confessed liar ‘n cheat but he didn’t remember that; I asked him if he recalled that Clinton staffers were such sore losers that they behaved like rowdy frat boys ‘n trashed the White House after Clinton had to leave but he didn’t remember that either; then he went on to complain that he just found out that he was expected to tip 20% or more at restaurants. I explained that restaurant workers had a much smaller minimum wage than unemployed plumbers who haven’t worked in more than two years ‘n he was astounded to hear that ‘n refused to believe me....’Course, he also believes that the rich should pay a lot more tax than he does ‘n that unemployment should be extended at least until he’s able to finish his ‘technical education’ so that he can get a higher paying job than unemployed plumber...which led to the short conversation about higher tuition costs which is a major irritant to him at the present time....at that point, I tried to get ‘da boyz’ to bite him but intelligent dogs that they are, refused so I just came home ‘n took a nap....

O dem Pols....gotta love 'em....

On the ‘Whatever!’ side, I just read in the SacBee that Assemblyman Gil Cedillo believes that the 18% cut to fringe benefits ‘n salaries for the California Legislature (90% disapproval rating) were Draconian in nature ‘n should be repealed. “can’t put legislators in the volatile position of worrying that if they make a decision, it could put thei families in a difficult situation.” Hello! Ain’t it their ‘job’ to make decisions? I know a lot of people who would jump at the chance to get 95K a year plus some of those ‘fringe’ benefits to sit on their duff in the legislature ‘n whine about how tough it is to make a buck today. ‘Course, he prob’ly believes it isn’t himself that the ‘great unwashed’ disapprove of but his colleagues instead. Narcissism seems to run deep in politicians!

A quiet Sunday.....

Sunday morning ‘n the race is on.....began eleven minutes ago ‘n I wonder how long it’ll be before some of the runners come thru the village....I’m not quite curious enuff to ackshully walk around the corner to check it out...the sun is coming up over the Sierra ‘n after a rainy, rainy nite it looks like they’ll have a dry ‘n beautiful morning for this marathon which I’m not going to watch...
Okay, so channel 3 sez the guy what won the marathon is from Canada ‘n he did it in 2 hours ‘n 11 minutes....pish-tush, I c’d drive it in my little car in 40 or 50 minutes...
I use’ta be able to drive anywhere in Sac county in about 30 minutes but we got a teensy bit more traffic now....I think this guy was running 5 minute miles....that’s a lot faster than people can drive on a normal commute day when it c’n take an hour just to cover 2 or 3 miles of Sunrise Blvd....
So instead of or rather than strolling around the corner to watch the runner, I opted instead to give da boyz a bath since they were becoming positively ripe...Willie recovers pretty fast but Rusty the Poodle-dogger is still a little traumatized...it takes a long time to get him reasonably dry ‘n that’s using at least two towels ‘n a hair dryer ‘n even after all that, it takes him a couple hours of sulking to get dry enuff that I don’t smell wet dog ev’ry time I pass by....’n of course, ev’ry time I pass by he looks up at me with those sad, sad eyes...
I think maybe poodles invented guilt trips...
I’m just sayin’......

Other stuff 'n nonsense.....

Satiday ‘n the calm before the storm...sort of a ‘balmy’ cool on a grey, cloudy day...
Got the 1st Christmas card of the season in this mornings mail...the Post Office keeps talking about cancelling Saturday delivery but my guess is that it’s a lot like other entitlements ‘n a handful of people don’t want to give it up so we’ll have it as long as the money holds out.....
If you go wand’ring thru the various ‘n sundry channels, you’ll find a myriad of sappy Holiday movies...y’need to TIVO them however so’s you c’n fast forward thru the interminable commercials....of course, some of ‘em are so bad you might want to fast forward thru the movie to watch the commercials....that’s like saying “I like my coffee with cream ‘n sugar but the caffeine keeps me awake ‘n I don’t need the fat from the cream so I’ll just eat a spoonful of sugar.”
And just one other little bitty thing re: SacBee who just gets one thing after another so wrong: T’other day in a totally forgettable column, a reader had written in stating that she had both grey ‘n red squirrels in her yard ‘n that one of them was an endangered specie but she didn’t know which one...the ‘expert’ from SacBee told her that ‘one doesn’t find red squirrels west of the Rockies ‘n she was prob’ly confusing ground squirrels ‘n tree squirrels’...well, as an old country boy ‘n onetime avid squirrel hunter (tho’ to my mortification as a youth, never actually a squirrel killer) I do know the difference between a ground squirrel (chipmonk) ‘n a tree squirrel, I, too, have both grey squirrels ‘n red squirrels in my yard (grey in front ‘n red in back...or visa versa) ‘n the ‘expert’ from the SacBee don’t know his...well, y’know what I mean....
I’m just sayin’.....

Baby steps for mankind.....

Well, it’s another small step for mankind with the scientific discovery that life exists where science said it couldn’t possibly....
Well, of course you know that I’m talking about Mono Lake which has long thought to be deader’n a doornail ever since Los Angeles siphoned all the Owens Valley water so that 20 million people could live in the desert year-round surrounded by golf courses ‘n mini-malls.....
You know how L.A. came t’be, don’cha?....The Spanish came, saw a bunch of Indians living in a green ‘n fertile land, made the same mistake that most newcomers to California make ‘n assumed that the Indians lived there year-round 'n the weather stayed perfect all the year.....
I ‘member when I first passed thru California back in ‘56....I spent a month or so in the Santa Clara valley in the fall....warm days, cool nights ‘n tho’t it was as near to perfect as I’d ever seen...I didn’t know that California had a different climate every few miles....
What I’m saying, of course, is that it’s easy to think you’re right when you know what you know but most of the time, if you live long enough, you’ll find out that life ain’t just one hand of poker, it’s a lot of ‘em ‘n every hand is just a little different ‘n what was what in one hand is totally different in another...in other words, what you don’t know is a lot more than what you do know...or think you know...facts change!
Every generation comes to the world all brand new ‘n trusting in themselves...out with the old ‘n in with the new....faith based religion might have been all right back in the old days, before the internet, before science really got a grip on things.... Science is become the ‘new religion’...fact, not fancy....immutable, provable, factual.
Proponents of this neo-religion call themselves secularists ‘n their belief is based in fact as opposed to the unprovable statements of those old-time faith-based religions...
Of course, secularists overlook the ‘fact’ that early scientists were certain that the sun revolved around the earth...I recall reading as a child that science was convinced that in the early twentieth century, everything that could be invented had been invented ‘n there was nothing left to discover....
And today, the internet informs us that life has been discovered where science told us life could not exist....it has also informed us that the universe is six trillion times larger that science thought it was....’n science has just found a few bones that tells us that humans were walking around this old earth four million years ago...why, it’s getting so a body just can’t be sure what to believe anymore.....
I’m just sayin’.....

The Old Grey Mare ain't what she use'ta be....

T’other day I made the statement that ‘nostalgia ain’t what it use’ta be’....that’s just an opinion, of course, nostalgia being primarily a personal option that is open to discussion...
At any rate, back in the hinterland from whence I sprang, a good ol’ boy named Joe, posted a picture of the once upon a time McKell High School gymnasium looking abandoned ‘n bereft prior to the demolition of said high school...
McKell, along with many other small schools was deemed inadequate for the job of educating the youth of the nation ‘n was thereby abandoned in favor of a larger, more modern, more progressive Federated School System...Ackshully, what was accomplished was that we replaced an inadequate system with an incompetent system for after lo, these many years, we’re seeing proof across the length ‘n breadth of this country that throwing money at the school system is a failing proposition; the unions ‘n the administration have siphoned off the cream, so to speak, leaving only blue john to pay the teachers ‘n maintain an increasingly expensive factory that is falling apart due to neglect....
Like big government, big schools are not the answer...the bureaucracy of the government ‘n the bureaucracy of the schools view their own survival as paramount while the student, like the citizenry, must suffer the results....
I’m just sayin’....nostalgia sure ain’t what it use’ta be.....

T'is the season....almost.......

Well, it’s beginning to feel a lot like....well, not perzackly Christmas but more like the end of November...I dunno if November is anybody’s fav’rite month seeing as how it’s usually grey ‘n cold....still, it’s better’n February, what with Thanksgiving ‘n all ‘n of course, it kicks off what has become known as THE HOLIDAY SEASON....
In my way back when time, the holiday season was different than it is t’day ....Thanksgiving, of course, was big but then there was a long lapse of time before the Christmas season began...seems t’me that I always remember Halloween as a harvest festival thing that kind’a kickstarted Thanksgiving ‘n then there was this long, cold, dreary, grey November that dragged on ‘n on until the magical Christmas suddenly appeared in a rush....a Christmas vacation from school, streets ‘n stores were decorated almost overnite ‘n package-laden people thronged....there were Christmas songs ‘n Christmas cheer ‘n ev’ry day the children looked for snow....’course, the snow almost never came....white Christmas’s seemed to exist only in the movies ‘n stories ‘n the minds ‘n mem’ries of old people...it took me 70 years but I finally figured out how that happened....
It’s still a magical time for children ‘n old people ‘n for at least a few moments, maybe for all the unbelieving inbetweeners also...at least, the lucky ones.....
The talking heads are bemoaning the stuck in a rut Congress ‘n the enormity of the deficit ‘n all the dire things of the world but when I was a small boy the USA was caught in the grip of what came t’be known as ‘The Great Depression’...we survived that ‘n some of my fondest mem’ries come from the Christmas’ of that era...the world seems caught up in another great depression but the world will survive ‘n some day this will be somebodys memory ..
I’m just sayin.....